


kelly clarkson kicks ass

by ohjeezthatsme



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, and it's true, hope just wants to chill but Saltzman Drama is back at it, josie is the princess, josie 🤝 penelope 🤝 not wanting josie to get married, lizzie is Over It, penelope is chris pine but y'know female, princess diaries 2 au, this title was only supposed to be a working title but it grew on me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 72,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24995614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjeezthatsme/pseuds/ohjeezthatsme
Summary: The councilman stands to address the court.“Alaric Saltzman’s current reign as sovereign of the land is only valid until a potential heir to the throne turns 22. Should Josette not be engaged and then wedded to a council approved match, then the throne must pass to the next in line. Even if that isn’t a Saltzman.”Josie’s mouth drops.“Shut. Up.”
Relationships: Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman, Side Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman
Comments: 184
Kudos: 665





	1. i won't forget all the ones that i love

**Author's Note:**

> so i was discussing at least three other au ideas when this one came to me in a moment of galaxy brain inspiration.
> 
> chapter title from Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson.

Josie slumps back, closing her eyes and huffs an exhausted sigh as the doors close behind the last petitioner. She’s always exhausted at the end of these sessions but seeing the difference she makes - no matter how small - keeps her going.

Urgent whispers break through her exhausted mind and she rolls her head in the direction of the disturbance. 

Josie’s eyes follow the hurried movements of a guard as he whispers frantically to her personal security. She watches with a curious frown as the guards exchange frantic words. Trained as they are, their faces give nothing away to the casual eye. But Josie isn’t exactly a casual eye and she’s been learning to read the palace guards since she was a child.

She watches their expressions closely, noting the concern etched into their faces and how their eyes dart from shadow to shadow. She leans closer and tries to focus on their voices but she’s too far and the voices too quiet.

One of her guards slips from the room and Josie decides she’s had enough of the guessing game she’s playing in her mind.

At her approach, the guards stop whispering to each other and snap to attention.

“Your Highness.”

Josie waves off the strict formalities with a gentle smile. Expecting them to be so formal when she knows more than half of the castle staff have been in their positions since before she was born has always felt off. She’s never been able to get used to being bowed to by the people who used to chase after her to try and get her into a bath as a toddler.

“Gentlemen. What seems to be the problem?”

“Nothing to worry about ma’am. Some of the more…  _ junior _ staff have reported a disturbance in the corridor.” Josie’s guard casts a disparaging look at the young palace guards who stand firm in their report.

“The corridor?” Josie’s face sets in determination and she marches to the exit leading to the exact corridor they were talking about.

The guards stare after her, stunned, before her actions become clear to them. They lurch after her but she’s already throwing the heavy doors wide as she strides through.

“Ma’am!”

Josie ignores their calls, straightening her spine, pushing her shoulders back and releasing all of her nerves in one gust of breath. It’s the same technique she learned as a child to slip into an official, royal persona fit for public presentation.

If it’s good enough for the leaders of several neighbouring countries, she’s sure it’s enough for whatever guards are investigating this mysterious disturbance.

Her stern royal mask falls as she takes in the person who had sent the security teams into a panicked frenzy.

“Lizzie! What are you doing here?”

Josie’s surprise echoes through the corridor, bringing a teasing grin to her sister's face. She abandons all of her efforts to maintain a graceful and regal persona as she runs to capture Lizzie in a tight hug. 

The twins collide with delighted laughter (Josie) and a pained grunt (Lizzie). They let Josie’s momentum twirl them as they try to avoid collapsing in a heap in a very public corridor. 

Lizzie laughs as their spin comes to an end and Josie pulls away from her with a wide smile.

“Can’t a girl come visit her childhood palace? Or her queenly sister?”

“Ha ha. I’m not queen yet.” Josie rolls her eyes and pushes lightly at her twin's shoulder.

Lizzie shrugs carelessly and dismisses Josie’s argument with a wave of the hand. “What’s a few months really?”

“The months leading up to the coronation are crucial, you know that. There’s so much to be done. I have to sign all the -”

“Blah blah blah. Honestly, you take all the fun out of being royalty.” Josie bites her tongue as Lizzie links their arms and begins to walk them towards their private rooms. She raises an eyebrow at Josie with a long suffering look, “I bet you were going to do something royally boring before I showed up, weren’t you?”

“It’s not boring...”

“That’s a yes.”

“I was going to sneak -” Lizzie perks up at the notion of Josie breaking literally any of the rules placed upon her, “into a council meeting.” Lizzie deflates immediately. 

Josie feels bad for a minute before she shakes off the vestiges of her former self that feel guilty for disappointing her sister. They had moved past the guilt and dependency that nearly ruined their relationship years ago but sometimes Josie still had to reassure herself. There is nothing wrong with taking her responsibilities seriously, no matter what Lizzie may think. 

“Of course you find a way to sneak into the most boring group closed to the public.”

“Are you coming or not?”

Josie rolls her eyes at the dramatic groans coming from her twin but Lizzie doesn’t fight as she changes their course to lead them in the direction of the council chambers.

“Fine. Let’s go sit through this yawnfest and wait with bated breath while absolutely nothing happens.” 

-

“Stop fidgeting.”

Josie shoots Lizzie a dirty look as she huffs and wriggles around in the small corridor hidden behind the wall.

The passages were a forgotten secret of the castle that Josie had stumbled on by pure chance in her teens. In a mark of teenage rebellion, she had never shared the secret of their existence and instead had spent many hours charting their paths throughout the castle and grounds.

Given that Lizzie has spent their journey complaining loudly about the cobwebs and “serial killer vibes”, Josie is pretty confident in her decision to keep their existence to herself.

The droning voices of the council are washed out by Lizzie’s aggravated whisper, “I can’t help it. Council meetings are just  _ so  _ dull.” She turns her eyes heavenward and blows out a breath dramatically, flinching and scowling when Josie lightly slaps her arm. Rubbing at her arm, Lizzie turns a fierce scowl onto Josie. “I don’t know how you can sit through these things.  _ Willingly _ at that!”

“Because they’re important, Lizzie.” Josie answers sharply. This isn’t the first time they’ve had this exchange and she knows it won’t be the last. She shoots a curious look over her shoulder, “Don’t you go to council meetings with Hope?”

“Please,  _ Hope _ doesn’t even go to her council meetings.” Lizzie scoffs. She feigns disinterest but Josie can see the way her lips curl up just at the mention of her fiancee's name. 

Lizzie tries to avoid Josie’s knowing eyes, crossing her arms over her chest to try and separate them in the cramped space. “She has advisors. And besides, you know that the Mikaelson’s have that old school monarchy vibe going.”

Before Josie can tease her twin about her relationship, a sharp banging reverberates around the chamber and pulls both Saltzman’s to the peephole.

“After long deliberation, the council has settled on a proposal.” 

The dull chatter quiets at the authoritative words. The serious expressions across the faces of the room give Josie a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. For as long as she’s been sneaking and spying on the council, never have they all looked so grim.

Lizzie seems to share the sentiment as she jostles Josie to the side to try and get a better look into the council chambers.

“What are they talking about?”

“I have no idea.”

“I thought you said you come to these things to stay informed!” Lizzie accuses.

“I do!” 

“Then  _ inform _ , Josette!”

Before Josie can respond to the barb, their squabbling is brought to a halt when the head of the council stands to address the room.

“It has been brought to the council’s attention that, at this time, there are no possible heirs to the throne in the current royal family.”

Josie winces as Lizzie’s nails suddenly dig into her hand. She spares a pained glance at Lizzie and finds her own confusion mirrored with a thick edge of anger. Before Josie can do anything to stop the loud and probably insulting retort about to come bursting out, one of the members in the chamber rises to speak.

“Josette Saltzman is the heir! She will be of coronation age this year.”

“God damn right,” Lizzie mutters venomously as Josie shushes her to focus on the argument in the chamber.

“That may be, but she is still not eligible.”

“And who would suggest in her stead, hmm? Elizabeth?” 

She feels her lip curl into a snarl at the mocking tone as he suggests Lizzie and by the way she can feel Lizzie freeze next to her, she knows that she caught it too.

“Elizabeth is already betrothed to the Mikaelson line. She too, is ineligible for the crown.”

“What law do you speak of that nullifies Josette Saltzman’s claim to the throne? She is the direct heir.”

“She will be turning 22 this year, no?” 

Josie was finally able to manoeuvre herself to catch a glimpse of who seemed to be so against her that was speaking. Her breath caught when she recognised the speaker. 

When did Edwin Park get back into the country and why didn’t she know about it?

“And she is still unmatched?” Josie is ripped from her thoughts as he continues smugly after hesitant nods from the council. “Then by some of the very first laws of this land, she is ineligible for the crown.”

A wave of dread came over her as Edwin smiled victoriously. She may not have known Edwin very well but his reputation preceded him. He was known in the court for being ruthlessly ambitious and manipulative. All great traits for an ambassador but nothing that endears him to the throne when it comes to loyalty or honesty.

“What the fu-!”

Josie’s eyes widen and she lunges to cover Lizzie’s mouth before her exclamation gets them caught. She’s already on thin ice as heir to the throne apparently, she doesn’t really want them to add spying on a council meeting on her list of negatives.

The council chair stands and Josie smiles. Surely Dorian, appointed by her father, would convince the council to see reason.

“Alaric Saltzman’s current reign as sovereign of the land is only valid until a potential heir to the throne turns 22. Should Josette not be engaged and then wedded to a council approved match, then the throne must pass to the next in line. Even if that isn’t a Saltzman.”

Josie’s mouth drops.

“Shut. Up.”

-

“They can do that?” At the answering nods from the twins, Hope grimaces with building fear, “Oh, I need to attend more council meetings.”

Josie snorts. She’s glad that Lizzie had brought Hope with her, gladder still that she had called her fiancee after they had crept out of the passageway. 

Lizzie gapes at the quiet mutter. “Is that really the issue at hand, Hope? Josie is going to lose her crown! Our family’s crown!”

“Only if she doesn’t find a suitable spouse.” Hope frowns.

“Which reminds me, what complete asshole thought up this bullshit law? And what dick decided to bring it up  _ now _ ?” Lizzie rants, getting more animated the longer she speaks. 

Hope casually leans back to dodge one of Lizzie’s errant gestures that nearly hits her in the face. Were Josie not so caught up in her head, she would have laughed at the familiarity between the two.

“Edwin Park.”

Hope and Lizzie both give her a confused look at her interruption. She explains, “He’s the one who brought it up in the council meeting.”

Josie could see the cogs turning behind her sister’s eyes before a furious scowl overcame her face. Hope, being equally as attuned to Lizzie’s moods as her twin, tried to create space between them without being too obvious about it. Josie winced in sympathy. Being right next to a furious Lizzie was never a good time.

“Of course it’s a Park.” She spat, “God, I  _ knew _ we should have just posted them to the Arctic Circle.”

“I thought the Parks  _ were  _ all posted overseas.”

Josie can’t stop the slight flinch as Hope unintentionally brings up a host of memories that she had preferred to have kept buried. 

She swallows thickly and avoids everyone’s eyes as she answers, “They were. They’ve been gone for six years now.”

“Six peaceful, blissful years.” Lizzie interjects.

Hope’s brows draw together in confusion, “So... Why are they back now?”

“I don’t know.” Josie answers quietly. She really has no idea what has brought the Parks back to the country. 

Six years ago, Edwin and Marion Park had been recognised as particularly talented ambassadors and had been stationed over in Belgium. They had been moved around Europe after having proven themselves particularly adept in the minefield that is foreign politics. 

Josie only ever accidentally heard news about their daughter. She could never bring herself to actually look into her whereabouts. Especially after she had come of age. She had been told that she had also been drafted as a foreign ambassador and that she was impressing everyone with how fantastic she was in the role.

It came as no surprise to Josie. If there was one thing that Penelope Park was good at, it was getting what she wanted.

Lizzie scoffs and gives the both of them an obvious look, “Edwin wants the crown, duh. Mum’s always said so.”

Hope looks even more confused but Josie knows that Lizzie’s probably right. Edwin’s desire for the throne was only ever thinly veiled at best, something that had never impressed Caroline. 

Sometimes she wonders if that’s why- 

No. The past isn’t important any more.

She can’t focus on what happened six years ago. Can’t focus on anything but fulfilling her duty to her family and to the country.

Hope draws her attention, addressing the both of them, “With Alaric as Regent, he can’t get near it as long as one of you two are set to inherit it though.”

“So he’s going to steal the crown from Dad then?”

Josie winces. 

“He might not have to steal it.” 

Lizzie’s head whips to her and Josie avoids her eyes as she explains the reports coming in from their insiders, “Dad’s been losing the faith of the council lately. If Edwin can convince them to put it to a vote -”

“Dad has the people behind him though!”

Josie shakes her head slightly, “His approval rating has been falling too. They’re holding meetings about it all the time.”

“That’s why you’re being coronated this year.” Hope states, no doubt figuring out their slap dash solution to the problem of the Regent’s plummeting popularity.

Lizzie slumps back and glares at Josie with accusing eyes, “I thought you were just eager to ‘fulfil your duty to the crown.’”

“I am.” Josie says firmly. Her voice is strong but has an off note. As if she’s just been repeating the same thing over and over, trying to convince herself it’s true. 

The looks she’s receiving from Hope and Lizzie mean that it probably wasn’t as convincing to them as she had hoped. Josie keeps going, hoping that the explanation will convince all three of them that this is going to work.

“But the people also like me better than dad at the moment. He’s hoping that by taking the crown early, I’ll be able to squash any plays for the throne from the council.”

“You need to take the crown this year then,” Lizzie states as if she had been the one to make the decision. Josie lets her, she’s too exhausted to try and fight her sister’s need to feel in control right now. “And to do that, you’ll need to be married.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that, Jo?” Hope questions gently, concern swirling through her eyes.

Josie puts on a brave face and speaks with a confidence and certainty she doesn’t fully feel. “The two of you have been engaged since we were like, 13. I’m sure I can handle getting engaged at 22.”

The couple share a concerned look. They communicate silently before Hope turns back to her with a concerned frown marring her features, Lizzie wearing a similar expression.

Josie wonders if she’ll have the same close bond with her fiancee. Probably not, they’ll be complete strangers after all. She might not even meet them before the wedding.

She feels laughter building in her throat at her thoughts and she desperately tries to clamp it down. No doubt it would come out hysterical and give her away.

“We always had the option of refusing our engagement, neither of our parents would have fought us on it. You won’t have that here.”

Josie can barely hear Hope’s words, she’s too focused on the comforting hand she has resting on Lizzie’s shoulder. She can’t help but try to imagine her future, if her nameless, faceless spouse will have the same comforting effect on her as Hope and Lizzie have on each other.

Josie holds her head high and smiles back at their concerned faces. If her smile is just a little too tight and forced, they’re kind enough not to bring it up.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll get married and then I’ll take the throne. Everything will be fine.”

“Of course it will.” Lizzie agrees, patting Hope’s hand on her shoulder. 

It must be some sort of symbol they have because Hope leans down, kisses her cheek and departs with a sad smile in Josie’s direction.

“Josie.” Lizzie’s face turns serious, never a good sign for Josie. Lizzie stares at her steadily and Josie lets her smile drop. “You don’t have to do this for our family.”

“Liz -”

“I know you dreamed of your epic romance since we were kids. If you go through with this, it means you won’t be able to marry for love.”

“It worked out for you and Hope didn’t it?”

“Off of a one in a million chance, maybe.” Lizzie sighs, reaching out and holding Josie’s hand tightly. “All I’m saying is that you’re already the best of us, Jo. You don’t need to do this for our duty to the throne or whatever dad has been telling you.”

“It’s our job.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

The certainty of her words floors Josie. Mouth open, she tries to think of something to say back but comes up blank. All she can manage is to shake her head slightly.

Lizzie lets out a long sigh as if she’s just aged 30 years in the past five minutes. Josie lets her pull her into a tight hug and pretends that she’s not clinging back just as hard. 

She just buries her face in her sister’s neck and tries to pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist and isn’t asking her to throw away her dream for her duty.

Lizzie, feeling the ragged breathing, strokes her hair softly and pulls back. “You know I’ll help you no matter what you choose. Just… make sure it’s what  _ you _ want, okay?”

“I love you, Lizzie.”

“I love you too. Now let’s go find someone to stand behind you and look pretty.”

-

“Now Penelope, you know what you need to do?”

Marion Park circles her daughter, eyes searching for even the slightest weakness in the woman. 

They had been moved into one of the residences reserved for those high in the court. While it was as luxurious as their station deemed fit, there was one glaring flaw. The portrait of the royal family that hangs above the fireplace.

She had caught Penelope’s wide eyes when she had first seen it. To her daughter’s credit, she had schooled her expression within seconds but Marion had not gotten this far by being oblivious.

“Schmooze a bunch of out of touch old men until they believe that I’m the future of the country?”

Penelope’s confident smirk doesn’t waver, even as her mother’s eyes flash with anger.

“Don’t be glib.”

She rolls her eyes, pouring herself a glass of wine. “Relax, I’ve got this. I go in, I charm, and then I leave on a throne.”

“Marion, enough. The girl is ambitious, confident and smart. Just like her father.” Edwin stalks into the sitting room, giving Penelope a proud look. “She won’t disappoint us.” 

While the words sound reassuring, Penelope can hear the clear threat under the surface. She refuses to react to the unspoken challenge. She just sips at her wine and smiles thinly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Satisfied, Edwin nods shortly before reminding Marion about the state dinner they were to be attending. He leaves just as quickly as he arrives and Penelope lets her smile drop as soon as he turns his back.

“Very well.” Marion eyes Penelope, assessing her once more. 

She pointedly adjusts Penelope’s necklace - a pendant with their crest, to remind her of her loyalty to her family before any other. She almost smiles at her but coming from Marion, it only looks like a predator deciding to save their energy for another day.

Warning clear in her eyes, she rests her hands on Penelope’s shoulders. “Be careful Penelope, that Saltzman girl sounds like she’s just your type.”

Penelope doesn’t react to her mother’s baiting and Marion cups her cheek for a second before she follows after Edwin.

Penelope lets out a long breath and gulps down the rest of her wine. She looks back up at the portrait of the royal family, attention focused on deep brown eyes.

Old regrets resurface and Penelope pours herself another glass, muttering softly to herself.

“You have no idea.”


	2. dancing in flames, sway with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Sway With Me by Saweetie and Galxara

“Lizzie, it’s been a week! And we have nothing! How can we have nothing?!”

Josie buries her head in her hands. The stress of the situation was definitely getting to her.

The three of them were having another ‘strategy meeting’ as Lizzie had taken to calling them. Josie’s suite was their base of operations, Hope was currently bundled up by the window with her sketchbook propped up on her legs. Lizzie was trawling through Josie’s closet and letting out the odd judgemental noise.

They’ve tried everything they could think of to work around the council’s proclamation but have come up empty handed. They had even gone to Alaric but there was nothing he could do. He was unpopular with the council where Edwin Park had become too influential and the council were too set on their decision.

Lizzie scoffs, throwing the dress she was looking at back into the closet and beginning to pace as Josie throws herself onto an armchair with a muffled scream. “Relax. We don’t have nothing, we have a challenge. That’s all this is - a challenge.”

“A challenge!?” Josie cries. She pulls her head from her hands to pin a withering glare on her sister. “Lizzie this is our throne!  _ My _ throne! And I’m  _ losing it!” _

“The only thing you’re losing, dearest sister, is your mind. We’ll be fine.” She dismisses with a casual wave. 

“Where are we going to find someone for me to marry who we all like and who will also be able to sweep me off my feet?” Josie groans. “I should just marry a Duke or something.”

“Those clowns?! No! You can definitely do better.”

“Can she do better before time’s up though?” Hope interjects. She quickly averts her eyes when Lizzie snaps around to glare at her with furious eyes.

“Hope. Darling.”

“Shutting up now.” She says wisely and buries herself back into her sketchbook.

Josie couldn’t even tease them. That’s how dire the situation had become. “She’s right. Where am I even going to look to find someone?”

“You could start with the Dignitaries Ball.”

“What?” Both of the twins stop and turn all of their attention to Hope after her quiet mumble.

She looks up and Josie notes how she immediately shifts closer to the window when she catches sight of their faces. With a quick glance to Lizzie she knows her sister caught the movement as well. The gleam in her eyes matches a shark’s when it smells blood in those documentaries.

Hope cautiously looks between the two of them as if they’re playing a joke on her. Josie has no idea what she sees but Hope frowns with confusion.

“The Ball? Tonight? The whole reason we’re here?” She says slowly, frown deepening as the realisation hits Josie like an anvil.

“Oh my god. I forgot about the ball.” Josie says quietly to herself before shooting up in a panic.

"Lizzie! I forgot about the ball! I haven’t done anything to get ready, I don’t have a dress, or a speech, or a guest list!” Her words click something in her mind and Josie spins to Lizzie with wide eyes, “Mum’s coming! Mum’s coming and I haven’t even started -”

Lizzie holds her hands out soothingly and adopts the same tone their mum used to use on spooked horses when they were children.

“It’s going to be fine. We will handle all of that. Mum will be blown away, I promise. I already looked over your early ideas and they were… fine.” Josie gives her a look and Lizzie concedes. “I’ve redone them completely and reorganised everything. Your dress is on the way and you’ll look fantastic.”

“And maybe you can meet someone at the ball!” Hope tries.

“You’re right.” Josie nods. She keeps her eyes on Lizzie’s encouraging expression and lets their confidence seep into her. Almost every eligible noble will be in attendance at the ball, she could easily find someone to marry tonight.

Wait.

“Oh no, you’re right!”

Lizzie grimaces at her shriek and turns to a wide-eyed Hope with a strained smile, “Hope. Love of my life -”

Hope, familiar with this tactic, interrupts her drily, “What do you want me to do?”

Lizzie relinquishes her steadying hold on Josie and passes off a thick binder. “Take this list and make sure everything is ticked off while I handle Josie’s meltdown.”

“This is like, 20 pages.”

“Try 35. I need it done in four hours. Mum’s plane lands and I’ll need you to pick her up. Thanks, Hope.” 

She pecks a stunned Hope’s lips quickly before shoving her towards the door. Were Josie not so enthralled in her own struggles, she would have felt sorry for Hope who would now be sprinting through the palace to try and keep everything up to Lizzie’s impossibly high standards. 

She would succeed no doubt, somehow Hope always did. It was an endlessly endearing and annoying trait of hers.

“Are we sure Hope doesn’t have any siblings? They’d make a great match.”

“None that have popped out yet.” Lizzie tilts her head, lost in thought. Josie makes a mental note to tease her sister over her dreamy smile later, “She is perfect though.” A smile stretches across her face and a new fear swirls through Josie.

“Maybe you could marry Hope!”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“Is it? She’d be perfect, you said so yourself.”

“She’s engaged. To you.”

“I will graciously allow you to marry her until we can replace the council. Then I will expect you to divorce immediately.” Lizzie says magnanimously. Josie gives her a sarcastic smile but Lizzie isn’t finished, “And you can’t touch her or kiss her. That’s for me only.”

Josie waits a beat but Lizzie just looks at her expectantly. She layers her voice with as much conviction and authority as she can. “I’m not going to share your fiancee.”

Lizzie pouts but Josie stays firm. Lizzie rolls her eyes with a huffy sigh but Josie glares until she reluctantly gives in. “I suppose marrying her means you’d have to give up the throne here anyway. And then  _ I’d _ have to marry a stranger.”

“And then Hope would duel them and be in great trouble for killing the Consort of a neighbouring Queen.” Josie reasons. She’s a little alarmed when Lizzie perks up with a smug smile.

“You’re right. Prison outfits are  _ totally  _ not her thing. This one time -”

“I cannot possibly explain to you how much I do not need to hear that.”

“Your loss.” Lizzie smirks. “We can definitely use the ball to scope for suitors though. Everyone there will be approved by the council anyway so all you need to do is choose.”

“Based on what? A quick waltz and stilted pleasantries? Doesn’t sound like a solid foundation for a marriage.” Josie says sadly as she comes to stand in front of the mirror. She stares at her reflection and tries to imagine herself falling in love over the course of a few short minutes. It doesn’t compute in her head. All she sees is herself, standing alone and staring back at her.

Lizzie’s head appears on her shoulder and her arms wind around Josie’s middle. She brings her hands up to hold Lizzie’s and tries to absorb some of her sister's confidence and faith in her ability to pull this off.

Lizzie meets her eyes through the mirror and squeezes her lightly. “You never know what a quick dance and flirt could grow into. Give it a chance.”

Josie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. For a moment, she lets herself imagine the wild possibility that her sister presents. The idea of being swept off of her feet in a whirlwind, just like the romances their mother would tell them of. 

She imagines her eyes sweeping the crowd and having the breath knocked out of her when she catches the right pair of eyes looking back at her. How the crowds would part for them, how they would lose track of time as they danced and talked all night, lost in their own world.

It all sounds wonderful and perfect. But it’s not, she knows that.

Not just because it’s unrealistic, but because it isn’t some faceless dream person she’s imagining. No, she has a very clear image in her head and it would never work the way she wants.

She lets her imaginings go as she exhales harshly and directs a stern look at their reflections. “Fine. But I’m telling you now, there’s very little chance of me finding ‘The One’ tonight.”

She doesn’t know which one of them she was talking to.

-

“Penelope. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you how important it is that the Saltzman girl does not take the crown.” Edwin says smoothly as their car pulls into the extravagant driveway.

Penelope, resplendent in her suit, pulls her attention from the decorations to meet his stare head on. “Of course not, Father.”

“I’m sure Penelope will make a  _ fine _ impression on the Crown Princess.” Marion says, quirking her brow at Penelope.

Their car slows to a stop at the grand staircase and they climb out gracefully. They nod politely at the announcer and the various staff stationed on the stairs. They stop at the doors to the ballroom and Edwin rests a hand on her elbow to draw her attention.

“The royal family will no doubt be looking for suitors at tonight’s ball. It would be in our interest that she found none.” He says carefully with a pointed look at his daughter who only chuckles.

Penelope catches the eye of a passing noble and shoots her a smile. The lady blushes and giggles lightly as her date drags her away with a sour look in Penelope’s direction. 

She turns back to her parents with a cocky smirk, “I can’t imagine she’ll remember any of them by the end of the night.”

-

Penelope sips lightly at her champagne as she endures mindless small talk with the various members of the royal court. None of them were particularly entertaining but all of them wanted to speak with the latest rising figure in their country's political sphere.

She’s in a discussion with Councilman Vardemus when she catches a glance of Hope Mikaelson on the other side of the ballroom. It’s not surprising that she’s making an appearance, she is the heir to the neighbouring kingdom after all. 

No, what was far more surprising was who was on her arm.

“Lizzie Saltzman?”

Vardemus turns at her shocked exclamation, “Ah, yes. It looks like Lady Saltzman has brought Her Highness this evening. I suppose it’s not that surprising to bring one’s fiancee to their own ball though.”

“Fiancee?” Penelope’s mind races as she tries to make sense of what is happening. This isn’t anything like she had expected. “But Lizzie is the heir.”

“I think you’ve been led astray Lady Park. It seems you have the Saltzman twins confused.” Vardemus chuckles. He looks at her and Penelope feels her dread building. If Lizzie isn’t the Saltzman girl who’s the heir, then that means…

“The Crown Princess is Josette Saltzman.”

Well,  _ shit. _

This is not something Penelope had anticipated. She blinks at Vardemus blankly and takes a desperate gulp to finish off her champagne. She flicks a look at the thrones set up at the end of the ballroom and tries to imagine Josie Saltzman perched in the largest one.

“Josie?” Vardemus’ brow furrows at her strangled voice and his mouth opens to question her but before he can make a sound, they’re interrupted.

“Announcing her Royal Highness, Crown Princess, Miss Josette Amelia Saltzman.”

She turns to the entrance doors before the announcement is even finished. Her heart pounds and her palms grow clammy around her glass. The doors begin to creak open and Penelope is overcome with a strong urge to close her eyes. 

Before she can make the conscious decision either way, she catches a glimpse of emerald green. Her breath catches in her chest and her eyes slowly traverse the vision in front of her. Josie gracefully steps through the doors to smile out at the assembled crowd but Penelope can’t imagine that there is anyone else in the room.

“Josie…”

She pauses on the landing and hesitates before her eyes sweep out across the crowd. She’s searching for something or someone and a stupid, hopeful part of Penelope wishes that Josie was looking for her. She doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when Josie is interrupted before those searching eyes can reach the area she is standing in.

Penelope can’t take her eyes off of her as Josie seems to float through the crowd. Not even for the announcements of King Alaric and Kind-of-but-not-really, It’s-Complicated Queen Consort Caroline. And hearing them try to announce Caroline was half the fun of attending official functions in this country. 

She doesn’t know if it’s the dress that Josie is wearing or if it’s the confidence draped over her like a cape but something about this adult Josie Saltzman has struck her down.

“Ahem.” 

Penelope turns her head slightly in Vardemus’ direction but keeps her eyes glued to the royalty gliding onto the dance floor. There’s amusement heavy in his voice but she could care less. 

“Perhaps you would like to greet Her Highness?”

“I appreciate the offer but I am quite sure our Crown Princess will have a full dance card this evening.” Penelope says lightly. Jealousy burns through her chest as she watches Lizzie drag some unsuspecting young man to Josie and then shove them none too lightly towards the open floor.

“You may be onto something there.” He laughs.

Penelope laughs politely. She darts a glance at the couple on the floor before looking back to Vardemus with a smile straining around the edges. “If you’ll excuse me, Councillor Vardemus.”

She disappears into the crowd before she can tempt herself with another look at Josie in all of her splendour.

-

Josie had lost track of how many suitors she had danced with. None of them had any spark to them and most of them ended up stepping on her feet. Even with Lizzie and Hope helping narrow the field, there just seemed to be a lack of eligible suitors.

The sinking feeling of disappointment wasn’t from the dances though, that had come from her wishful hope upon her entrance. Even though she had told herself over and over that she wouldn’t be miraculously finding the love of her life just by looking into a crowd, a foolish part of her had held out hope.

She tells herself that it was for the best that the page had interrupted her before she could make an even bigger fool of herself. Only her sister and her mother had caught onto her disappointment but she was able to avoid any sort of conversation with them for the most part. She is far too busy being traded around dance partners in a futile attempt to spark chemistry on which she could build a lifelong commitment and bond.

Broken from her musings, she withholds her wince as her current dance partner stomps onto her already aching feet. He doesn’t apologise but she wasn’t expecting him to. Connor is a cousin of a lower lady and is known for being an ass throughout the court. But Lizzie had insistently pushed them onto the dance floor when he had smarmed his way up to Josie.

He steps on her feet again and Josie flicks a sour look his way. His response is only a smirk and an ill-timed, ill-advised spin out. He loses control and she can already hear the sharp gasps as she braces for the impact, both to her body and her dignity.

Two soft hands catch her and Josie finds herself suspended in a dip by a surprisingly strong pair of arms.

“All of this time and you’re still falling for me? I’m flattered.”

No. No, no.

This isn’t happening.

It’s not real.

She apprehensively drags her eyes from the arms holding her up to the familiar smirking lips until she finally loses herself in those green eyes.

Penelope is here.

Penelope is holding her.

Slowly, her words register in Josie’s brain and a scowl slams over her face. She glares angrily at the still smirking woman.

“You’re not cute.”

In Josie’s defence, she’s not wrong. Penelope wasn’t cute. Especially not in that suit. She was temptation personified, a devil waiting to lead her astray, a mistake that Josie would happily make over and over and over again.

Defying all that Josie thought possible, the smirk somehow gets cockier. “Funny, you used to think so.”

“I also used to think that magic existed.”

“I think you’d make a wonderful witch, Jojo.”

“I think you would be even worse with the addition of magic.”

Penelope laughs and Josie stifles the smile that leaps unbidden to her lips. She is finally pulled up into a vertical position and Josie blames the vertigo from the quick movement for the blush rising on her cheeks. It’s not because Penelope steadies her with a hand borderline inappropriate on her waist with that same smirk and sultry eyes burning into her. 

It was definitely the vertigo.

There’s a knowing glint in Penelope’s eyes but she thankfully lets it go with a quirk of her brow. Josie releases a breath when Penelope turns to glare at Connor, who had been making displeased little grunts as they spoke.

Penelope raises a scornful eyebrow at him. She slowly looks him over and Josie covers her mouth in an effort to stop her laughter at the unimpressed look on Penelope’s face. Connor reaches out to try and take Josie’s hand but Penelope stays between them.

“I’ll take it from here.” She sneers. ”I’m sure Her Highness would enjoy dancing with at least one person who is competent and interesting this evening.”

Josie can’t hold back her laugh but tries to turn it into a strangled cough. She’s only partially successful. After hearing the princess laugh, there’s a few light titters from those near enough to hear the exchange. Connor turns an embarrassed pink as he storms off but Josie can’t find it in herself to care.

Penelope spins on her heel to face Josie and drops into a bow that only just meets the requirements for a formal dance. Josie grits her teeth at the smug challenge glinting in her eyes. She’s daring her to lose her composure, scream at her the way Josie so desperately wants to.

Instead Josie says nothing, presses her lips into a fine line and lets her anger blaze from her eyes as she curtsies. Their eyes stay locked as they honour their partner before their dance begins anew.

“Where did you come from?” Josie whispers venomously, keeping a thin smile on her face to ward off any rumours starting.

The last thing Josie needed right now were rumours flying about her relationship with Penelope Park.

“I saw that your feet were being horribly abused and doubted your eyes and ears would be faring much better. I decided to rescue the fair damsel.” She shrugs, spinning them around the floor easily. 

Josie growls under her breath as Penelope takes the lead, sweeping them gracefully across the floor. Her easy confidence and charming grin would surely be enough to fool anyone into thinking Penelope was just another gallant young noble.

Almost anyone.

Josie knew better.

“I don’t need rescuing.”

“Very well. Shall I fetch him back for you?” Penelope laughs as she twirls Josie around.

Josie seriously considers ‘accidentally’ stomping on her foot.

“Don’t you dare.” She hisses before she’s spun out. Fear flashes through her, this was the same move that Connor had attempted, but she needn’t have worried. Penelope reels her back in and catches Josie just before they collide against her chest.

She steadfastly ignores how badly she wishes to lean back into the warmth of Penelope. She can just  _ sense _ the smirk on her face. A shiver runs through her when Penelope leans up to whisper in her ear.

“You cannot say that I am not  _ far _ better company.”

Josie releases the breath she didn’t realise she was holding. She turns to the side slightly to catch Penelope’s eyes. Of course Penelope is already looking back with her stupidly attractive smirk and her stupidly enchanting eyes.

Josie darts out her tongue to wet her lips, giving Penelope a sultry look.

Victory swells in her chest as she watches Penelope’s eyes drawn to her lips. She smirks slightly before tucking her bottom lip between her teeth in a move that Penelope follows intently.

She’s completely distracted and unsuspecting when Josie brings her foot down on top of her own.

Hard.

She can’t stop her laughter when Penelope lets out a pained grunt and tries to hop on her uninjured foot.

Josie twirls away to face a glaring Penelope with a bright smile. She grins in the face of Penelope’s dark scowl and sketches a quick curtsy before bouncing on her heels to walk away.

She smiles widely as she turns her back on Penelope, sure that she has finally put the woman behind her. Just as she reaches the edge of the dance floor, a hand darts out to grasp her wrist. She closes her eyes and sighs heavily. 

Of course. It could never be that easy.

Penelope pulls at her arm and Josie finds herself spinning back towards her before Penelope turns and drops her into a deep dip.

Josie looks up at the somewhat familiar vision of Penelope hovering over her. The anger in those green eyes is new but she is adult enough to admit that she maybe deserved a little anger.

She shrugs as best she can and gives her an unapologetic smile. Penelope rolls her eyes and pulls them back to a standing position before continuing their dance as if they had never been interrupted. 

“I didn’t realise you would be taking the throne.” 

Penelope’s voice is conversational but Josie can see the question hidden in her eyes. It’s not really that surprising. For most of their lives, no one had really expected Josie to be named the heir.

“If the council has their way, I won’t be.” Penelope raises an eyebrow and Josie tiredly gestures to the surrounding crowd. “That’s why I was dancing with so many people. Apparently if we partner well during a dance, we’d partner well in a marriage.”

She’s met with an incredulous face, “What?”

“Don’t ask me, I have no idea how that’s supposed to work.” Penelope’s lips slowly stretch into a smile and she cocks an eyebrow. Josie shakes her head, refusing to accept the teasing smile. “It was Lizzie’s stupid saying!”

Penelope snorts and shakes her head. “Well,  _ I _ am a  _ wonderful  _ dance partner. As I’m sure you remember.”

Josie grits her teeth as the memories wash over her. Anger swells and pulses through her and she hisses her pointed words out through her clenched teeth. 

“What I remember is that you left. I prefer to dance with someone I can count on.”

Penelope works her jaw slightly at the jab. “You can always count on me, Josie.”

“The only thing I can always count on you for is suggestive quips and obnoxious, selfish manipulations.”

Penelope purses her lips but Josie can see the hurt flash through her eyes. “I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I don’t know you at all.” And hasn’t that been her fear all along? A fear that it seems that time, distance and even Josie herself have made into a reality. She drops Penelope’s hands and steps away. “And I don’t think I ever did.”

“Josie.” She tries but Josie shakes her head sadly and can’t meet her eyes. That doesn’t stop Penelope from entreating her. “Of course you knew me. You knew me as well as I knew you.”

“Penelope…”

She looks at her sadly, recognises the hurt and fear echoing from herself. But she knows better now. She knows that no matter how many sweet words fall from Penelope’s lips, it was just never meant to work between them.

“You can tell yourself whatever lie you want.” Penelope says fiercely, once more stopping Josie’s retreat. Stepping in closer to keep from being overheard. Josie pretends that Penelope being this close and having this much fire in her eyes isn’t making her pulse race. “But you’re never going to find what we had with one of them.”

She flicks her head to indicate the group of young noblemen and women that Lizzie had clearly been assembling while they danced. Josie isn’t even sure of just how long they  _ did _ dance for. 

If anything, this only made the point she was trying to prove to herself. Whenever she was around Penelope, it was like everyone else fell away, and that can’t happen right now because she has mere months until she has to get married for the crown.

The crown has to come first. 

She’s been reciting that in her head repeatedly ever since she discovered what would be expected of her.

The crown has to come first. And Penelope has never been able to settle for second place.

This was for the best.

With her new resolve strong in the forefront of her mind, she braces herself and yanks her hand from Penelope’s.

“Why? Because you said it so it must be true?”

“No.” Penelope steps closer again and approximates a smile when Josie takes a step back. “Because you’re only this passionate when you’re with me.”

“You’re mistaking passion for hate.” Josie spits desperately.

Penelope freezes and clearly realises where they are. With a hurried glance to either side of them, Josie notices that they’ve managed to catch the attention of some but not all. If they continue though, all bets are off.

She sees Penelope come to the same conclusion when her eyes harden and the fire blazing within them dulls to a careful mask. She backs away and Josie has to stop herself from reaching after her.

“My apologies, Princess.”

Penelope folds into a picture perfect bow. When she straightens, Josie tries to catch her eye but Penelope is trying harder to avoid it. She dips her head and strides away before Josie can do or say anything more.

She’s just left… watching Penelope walk away from her yet again.


	3. shit happened and good things ended along the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Whole Lotta by grandson

Loud giggles bounce down the halls as two girls dash through the halls, pausing intermittently to push the other against the wall in a bruising kiss. 

Josie lets out a bark of laughter as her back collides with the wall roughly, Penelope hovering closely with an exaggeratedly sleazy grin. Josie laughs, no doubt Penelope’s intention, and pulls the other girl into a kiss.

The kiss is a mess. Both of them are smiling too wide and not really trying to rectify that. But even with the absolute shambles of a kiss, it doesn’t stop the feelings bubbling up in Josie’s chest. She giggles against Penelope’s smile, unable to hold back the happiness that threatens to burst through her chest.

"Shhh!" 

Penelope chastises with mock seriousness as she presses a finger to Josie’s lips. The effect is ruined when Penelope grins intently and presses her harder against the wall, dropping her head to trail her lips up and down Josie’s neck. 

Josie’s hands wind themselves into Penelope’s hair, torn between holding her closer and tugging her up to kiss her. She finds it devastatingly unfair that she has to make such difficult decisions whenever she’s with Penelope. 

All she wants is Penelope everywhere, all the time. Is that really too much to ask?

Josie abandons her question as she feels Penelope’s smirk against her skin and inhales sharply as Penelope brings her teeth into the equation.

Her moan rings through the cavernous hall.

Josie feels a shiver roll through her as Penelope laughs softly next to her ear. She knows that she should be putting a stop to this, or at least trying to get them out of an open and very public hall but Penelope’s lips on her has an unfortunate side effect of making everything else seem inconsequential. 

Much to Josie’s dismay, Penelope pulls her heavenly lips away from their spot on Josie’s neck. Before she can muster more than a pathetic whine- that she will deny to her dying day- she hears what stole Penelope’s attention. The echoing sound of boots marching down the hall they’re currently cavorting in. The echoes are getting closer.

Someone’s coming.

It’s only then that Josie realises their situation and how it may look:

Princess Josie Saltzman, pinned to the wall by the daughter of influential councilman, Penelope Park. Clothes ruffled, lipstick smudged and faces flushed, both looking  _ thoroughly _ debauched.

She looks back to Penelope with wide eyes. This is exactly the kind of thing that she had wanted to avoid when they started up this-  _ whatever _ it was between them. But Josie has clearly gotten too comfortable, too safe with Penelope. And now those feelings will end up costing them both.

She expects to see a similar level of panic from Penelope but she really should have known better. Penelope is just biting her lip while her eyes roam over Josie. She slides her hands from Josie’s wrists to the back of her neck, playing with the hairs she finds there. 

Josie finds herself lost once more in the sparkling green eyes and  _ really _ , those footsteps could be coming from anywhere, what’s the harm in leaning into Penelope’s touch?

Penelope winks and moves in for another kiss but Josie snaps herself out her Penelope induced daze to dodge away at the last moment. She rests her hand on Penelope’s chest as the other girl pouts and tries to lean forward again.

"We're going to get caught!"

Penelope shrugs at Josie’s hushed warning. She trails her hand from the back of her neck, down her jaw to gently cup her chin. 

Josie is entranced. There’s nothing quite like having Penelope’s full attention, it makes her feel like everyone else has fallen away. Penelope brings her back to herself as she softly tilts Josie’s head up to catch her gaze with hooded eyes and a slight smile dancing across her lips.

"Wouldn't it be worth it?"

Josie pauses. Penelope had barely finished the question before the answer had rung through her head. She manages to stop it from falling off her tongue but it’s a close call. Even if the answer leaps to her lips eagerly, she has just enough sense to attempt to think through the weight of the question and the implications of her answer either way.

She worries her lip as she watches Penelope’s face closely. The unspoken weight to the question had clearly been weighing the other girl down, her shoulders are squarer than normal, as if she’s forcing an air of nonchalance. Hidden in the shadows of her eyes, Josie can see the nervousness Penelope is trying to mask, can see the tension belying her casual smirk. 

It’s either worth it, or it’s not.

Is being with Penelope like this, so openly and risky, is it worth it? Worth the scandal? The familial disappointment?

"Yes."

She barely has time to see the genuine joy light up Penelope’s eyes before she’s pulling the girl back into her. She may come to regret her decision later but right now - with Penelope smiling against her lips and clutching her tighter - she has never been happier.

Josie distantly notes the approaching footsteps but then Penelope’s hands are on her hips and she’s pulling Penelope closer to her, leaning harder against the wall in the process. Something gives way under her shoulder and suddenly the wall isn’t there anymore.

Josie’s eyes fly open in panic but before she can do anything, she’s falling back into the darkness. Closing her eyes to brace herself for the impact of the stone floor, she wasn’t expecting to feel arms snaking around her waist and keeping her from hitting the ground.

“I’ve got you.” Penelope grunts as she stumbles, straining to keep them both upright.

Josie blinks up at her, not having expected Penelope to care enough to lunge after her. She knew that Penelope obviously enjoyed her company but there’s enjoying someone’s company and then there’s diving into an unknown darkness to catch that someone. 

Breathless, Josie keeps her eyes on Penelope as the girl slowly steadies them. Penelope’s hands are already sliding along Josie’s arms, checking her for any obvious injury. Josie can’t help her sly smirk as she catches the concern and worry on her face..

“Are you going to make a habit of gallantly catching me?”

Penelope’s face smooths out and her lips quirk into a smile. “As long as you make a habit of falling for me.”

“God, you’re the worst.”

“Identify yourself!”

Their heads both whip back towards the hallway where the stern voice echoes from. 

Josie looks to Penelope with wide eyes only to find a mirrored expression on Penelope’s face. Distantly a small part of Josie is a little irked that now - now that they’re tucked into a secret passageway and not in the open hall - Penelope is responding with an appropriate level of panic. 

A moment passes with them just exchanging a wide eyed look before the instruction is repeated, the voice much closer to their position.

Josie becomes a blur of activity. One hand trying to straighten and fix her hair to something that  _ doesn’t _ look like someone else’s hands have just spent a considerable amount of time running through it. And the other, trying to tuck her shirt back into her skirt because  _ someone _ has no respect for appearance regulations.

“What did you hit?”

Penelope’s urgent question distracts Josie from her mission to make herself presentable before she’s dragged in front of her parents by whatever guard is about to find them. To her annoyance, Penelope isn’t even trying to look like she just rolled off a fresh hookup, she’s just frantically pushing against the stones randomly over and over again.

“What?”

Penelope pushes against the wall fruitlessly once more, throwing a brief look over her shoulder before moving to the opposite wall to try her luck. “This has got to be some sort of secret tunnel. Every secret tunnel has a button or something. You would have hit it when you opened the wall.”

A scowl forms at the hint of accusation in the last sentence. Josie glares at the other girl before realising that Penelope isn’t paying her any attention, she’s too busy fiddling with the bricks.

Josie throws her hands up with an indignantly hissed, “How is this my fault?” 

She must finally be catching onto Josie’s displeasure because Penelope hesitates before turning to face her. She twists her mouth into a half grimace and lifts a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

“You  _ did  _ open the wall.” She reminds dryly.

“You were there too!”

Her cry bounces off the walls and they both cast anxious gazes to the hall where someone’s shadow grows larger as they draw closer.

Penelope spins back to the wall, urgently hitting as many bricks as she can. Josie steps closer, darting worried glances between Penelope’s urgent efforts and the shadow growing larger in the hall.

“We can argue about this later. Right now, we just need to close this-”

Penelope cuts herself off as a door begins sliding across the entryway. Josie allows herself a cocky smirk when Penelope turns to see her pressing the apparent trick stone. She tries to look indifferent but Josie can see her lips twitching.

The door slots itself into place with a quiet thud and then they’re in relative darkness. 

“Now what?” Josie asks snidely.

It’s dark enough that she can barely see her hand in front of her face but still she cautiously reaches out towards where she last saw Penelope. Fingers brush her own and she intertwines their fingers and uses the hold to pull Penelope to her.

She feels more than sees Penelope’s swaggering steps as she comes willingly. “Well, we’re trapped in a tight, darkened space all on our lonesome.”

Josie rolls her eyes, knowing from the edge in Penelope’s voice that she’s about to say something stupid. 

“I think we could probably finish arguing about whose fault it i-”

Josie doesn’t let her finish. Rolls her eyes once more and surges forwards into a kiss that has Penelope grinning, as if she had known what Josie would do to shut her up.

“You’re so annoying.” She mumbles against Penelope’s smiling lips.

Penelope hums lightly in agreement. “I think you like it.”

“Keep dreaming.”

“About you? Happily.”

She’s suddenly quite glad for the darkened tunnel they’ve found themselves in. Mainly so that Penelope cannot see her blushing face or the smile she is dismally failing to hide. She can almost  _ hear _ the dumb, stupidly hot smirk on her stupidly beautiful face.

“Stop talking.” She demands, swiftly switching their places and shoving Penelope against the wall.

“Make me.”

Josie can hear her pleased smile in her tone, even with her back literally against the wall, Penelope still oozes confidence. Josie just bares her teeth in a wolfish grin and crashes their lips together.

-

Josie is storming off the dance floor, intent on getting out of this damn ballroom and finding somewhere to scream and throw a fit over Penelope’s surprise return, when a hand flashes out from the crowd and pulls her to a sudden halt.

She spins, vicious reprimands on the tip of her tongue, but they all die when she sees it’s Lizzie clutching her wrist, eyes blazing.

"Josie!” 

She winces at Lizzie’s aggressive stance and also how tightly the hold on her wrist is. Now she kind of gets why dignitaries are always so reluctant to shake Lizzie’s hand, cause  _ damn _ . Lizzie’s demanding voice serves as a sharp reminder of her surroundings, “What the hell was that?!"

A bewildered Hope materialises next to her fiancee before Josie can even begin to formulate an explanation for her actions. She rests her hand on Lizzie’s wrist and Josie breathes a small sigh of relief when her sister finally relinquishes her grip.

"Was that Penelope Park?" She asks quietly, eyes darting apprehensively between the twins.

Lizzie steams, still glaring daggers into her sister. Josie, for her part, avoids their gazes and instead glares at an unoccupied corner, clenching her jaw rhythmically. She doesn’t want to get into a discussion (argument, really) in the middle of a ball about her somewhat tragic and doomed history with Penelope. She doesn’t really want to get into that discussion at all, honestly.

"Oh, you mean the daughter of the greedy, slimy asshat who is trying to steal the throne? Yes, I believe it was." Lizzie says with fake enthusiasm, forcing a smile so wide that Josie can almost feel the stretch in her own face.

Hope winces at the overbearing sarcasm and bite to the words. "Not quite what I meant." She mutters quietly, grimacing apologetically at Josie.

Josie can’t handle having pitying looks thrown her way. Not about Penelope. She has moved on, left both Penelope and those memories of her in the past, where they belong. She’s moved on, everyone just needs to stop dragging Penelope to the forefront of her mind so she can really prove just how moved on she is.

"Does it matter?" She asks sullenly, annoyed that Lizzie and Hope are making a big deal out of this and not just letting Josie pretend like nothing happened.

Lizzie gapes at her, not at a loss for words but rather has too many to choose from.

“Are you high? Of  _ course _ it matters, she’s a  _ Park _ . And they are all nothing but vultures waiting for a chance to steal the throne.  _ None _ of them can be trusted.” She spits out fiercely.

“Lizzie...” Hope quietly warns, placing a calming hand on her hip as Lizzie’s volume and vehemency begins to attract attention. Lizzie growls in frustration but crosses her arms and relegates herself to glaring silently.

Hope eyes her cautiously, smiling politely at the curious glances thrown at the three of them. 

Josie smiles wanly as some of the braver crowd call greetings. 

Her chest begins to feel too tight, her breathing gets harsher and uneven. It’s too much; Penelope coming back, the pressure to find a suitor,  _ dancing  _ with Penelope, Lizzie interrogating her, everyone watching her every move, knowing that they all want her to fail just so they have something to keep them entertained, watching Penelope walk away from her again. 

It’s just all too much.

She glances at Hope who looks concerned and quickly nods towards the exit, she flicks her eyes to Lizzie and sees the same spark of concern, albeit buried under a lot of anger. 

Josie turns on her heel and marches towards the exit, keeping her head high and eyes on the exit. She injects as much purpose into her stride as she can so that it doesn't look like she’s scared, like she is running away. Even if that’s exactly what it feels like to her.

Appearances are important, her mum taught her that when she and Lizzie had begun to attend the social functions. Ever since then, she had been careful to hide all of her true thoughts and emotions so that they could never be used against her. Or she had until tonight. 

Twice in one night she had come perilously close to losing control of herself; when she was dancing with Penelope, and when Lizzie was questioning her. It hasn’t escaped her that both of these slips seemed to revolve around Penelope.

Josie bursts into an empty corridor, Lizzie and Hope close behind her. She all but collapses against the cold stones, chest heaving as she desperately tries to calm herself. Hope watches on anxiously while Lizzie sends off the palace staff and no doubt ensures the corridor remains empty for them.

Being away from the overwhelming pressure of all of those eyes on her gives Josie the chance to calm her racing heart. She hears Hope approach and prop herself up against the wall next to her. 

A wave of gratitude for Hope Mikaelson overcomes her when Hope reaches down and gently intertwines their hands. Not to force anything, but just to let Josie know that she’s there.

"You and Penelope were dancing for a really long time." Hope says the words quietly and without judgement but Josie still lets out a dry sob of a laugh.

“So?”

“So people noticed, Josie.” Lizzie interjects strongly, pacing in front of the two of them. Josie is too tired to even be startled by her reappearance, too emotionally exhausted already to try and add more to her plate.

“So we danced together, who cares?! It doesn’t mean anything!” She cries, frustrated that Penelope hasn’t even been back a week and already has sent Josie’s life into a tailspin.

“Josie, this is politics,  _ everything  _ means something.”

The calm voice has Josie shooting up from her slumped position on the wall. She drops a startled Hope’s hand and is immediately flattening out the wrinkles from her dress.

“Mum!”

Caroline smiles slightly at their synchronised gasps.

“How did you-”

“You cleared a corridor of every staff and security member after the three of you beat a hasty exit and thought I wouldn’t come find you?” Josie grimaces at Caroline’s slightly reprimanding tone. Caroline tilts her head and looks at Lizzie with a cocked eyebrow, “I’m a little hurt.”

Josie hesitantly steps forward, feeling the weight of the expectations on her heavier than ever, “Mum, I can explain-”

Caroline cuts her off, shaking her head with a raised hand. Josie bites down hard on her lip, the pain helping her keep the tears from falling. This was everything she had feared, that she would let her family down. Now Lizzie is furious with her and her mother can’t even look at her. 

A gentle hand cups her cheek and tilts her head up, her mother looking at her with a loving smile. Josie doesn’t understand but her mother doesn’t look disappointed or mad at her, in fact she looks… happy?

Before Josie can question her, Caroline is already giving Lizzie and Hope a sly look, “I think it’s for the best that I don’t know what hare-brained scheme the three of you have cooked up.” She flicks her eyes back at Josie with an amused smirk, “The ‘horse ranch’ when you were 13 was more than enough for me.”

The three of them exchange a sheepish look. Apparently releasing every single horse on the property did  _ not _ suddenly turn their castle into a horse ranch. They had argued that it was an easy mistake to make but their parents did not see it that way. 

The telling off that they had gotten after that was something of a legend around the castle. It had inspired a rumour among the staff that, in one of the rooms in the castle, you could still hear the shouting.

Josie ducks her head and tries to stifle her grin. Grinning  _ definitely _ hadn’t helped them when they were 13, she doubts it would help her much now. She glances up at her mother from beneath her eyes and her lips quirk up at the fond look in her eyes.

Josie chances a glance at Hope and Lizzie. Hope, forever ready to buck authority, has her shoulders squared and head held high even as she chews her lip. Lizzie is trying her hardest to look innocent, eyes roaming across the ceiling and hands behind her back. Josie rolls her eyes, Lizzie is the least subtle person she has ever met. She’s honestly half expecting her to be whistling.

Caroline snorts and shakes her head fondly at their lack of repentance. She focuses back in on Josie and her mirth fades.

“As far as why your every move tonight is of interest to everyone in there? You, sweetheart, are the single, young heir who needs to wed before taking the throne, dancing the night away with Penelope Park; a brilliant, young, successful woman who happens to be unnecessarily beautiful and  _ extremely _ eligible on top of all of that... People are going to care.” 

Josie avoids her mother’s eyes. She really wishes everyone would stop bringing up her dancing with Penelope. And  _ really _ wishes that her mum hadn’t included how attractive Penelope was now in her spiel. Not that Penelope hadn’t always been unnecessarily beautiful but she had only gotten better with age, something Josie finds quite unfair.

“Particularly, all of the idiots who we're trying to get a proposal out of," Lizzie mutters bitterly.

Josie rolls her eyes and gives her sister a dirty look. "I don't want to be courted by an idiot."

"Of course you don't. You want to be courted by Penelope Park." Lizzie snarks, returning the look.

Irritation flashes through Josie and she spins on her heel to face her sister. Lizzie’s stance is already aggressive and a little part of Josie is relieved for the chance to finally release some of the anger that has been building since the damn dance.

“Girls.” 

Their mother’s sharp voice stops them in their tracks. Josie glares at Lizzie fiercely, receiving an angry sneer in return. Their mother clears her throat purposefully and reluctantly they turn to her with guilty expressions. 

“I am going back inside to draw attention away from the missing guest of honour.” Josie looks down guilty at the pointed look being sent their way in combination with their mother’s stern tone. “And her sister and future sister-in-law. I trust that the three of you can handle it from here?”

Caroline cocks an expectant eyebrow at them before turning and gliding away.

Josie watches her leave in awe. Ever since she was old enough to understand politics, she’s been envious of just how  _ good _ her mother is at. She’s constantly trying to emulate her grace and confidence, especially in the public eye. 

Even with literally over a decade of practice, she’s still nowhere near her mother’s level, evidenced by the relative disaster that this ball has turned out to be.

Josie huffs out a breath, letting her shoulders slump as the fight escapes her. She’s too drained by the evening’s events to carry on trying to argue against everyone.

"Lizzie, I- I …"

"... Am currently under severe stress and therefore delusional? I agree. You would have to be, to actually  _ want _ to dance with Park."

Josie doesn’t even try to defend herself from Lizzie’s scorn, just slumps back against the wall with a defeated sigh.

Hope is wearing a concerned frown but Josie can’t bring herself to prompt Hope to jump in with her two cents about how poorly she’s doing. Lizzie is still muttering under her breath when Hope angles herself between the twins.

“It was just a dance, Lizzie.” She reprimands. 

Lizzie scowls and crosses her arms, scoffing at the both of them. “Please. It’s never ‘just’ anything with those two.”

“What?”

“Lizzie!”

Lizzie ignores the interruptions from Hope and Josie respectively, rolling her eyes before looking Josie dead in the face. Josie tries to brace herself, Lizzie looking at her like this has never ended well for her.

“She’s an unnecessary distraction from our mission.” Lizzie states grimly.

“Lizzie.” Hope barks, tone lowering dangerously. Josie appreciates her coming to her defence but it’s finally becoming clear to her. 

With the council breathing down their necks and a steadfast deadline, there can be no room for error or distraction. And if nothing else, Penelope has proven herself to be Josie’s biggest distraction. 

“No, she’s right.” 

Hope turns to her, mouth open to argue but Josie just shakes her head, nodding in Lizzie’s direction. “I cannot afford to be distracted right now. By anything.”

Lizzie finally smiles at her, satisfied that Josie has finally come around. “Glad we’re all on the same page. No distraction can be worth the crown, right?"

“Right.” Josie nods. 

Even as she says it, all she can think about is how Penelope looked as they danced, the way she sounded when saying Josie’s name. 

Good thing she isn’t going to be distracted by Penelope though.

-

"You're distracting me." Josie states for the fifth time this hour.

Her desk is covered in papers she still has to write and textbooks she still has to read but all she can focus on is the girl splayed artfully over her bed. Penelope is currently tangled in her sheets, flipping between teasing moans and remarks, or pouting at Josie for leaving her lonely.

"Me? I'm just lying here, how could I possibly be distracting." 

Josie can hear the confidence dripping from Penelope’s sultry tone. She turns to shoot Penelope a disapproving look but instead chokes as her throat suddenly goes dry.

Penelope had chosen that exact moment to stretch her arms above her head and, seeing as Josie had thrown most of her clothes across the room last night, all she had left to wear was her lacy lingerie. 

To make it harder on Josie, Penelope lets out a long, unnecessarily breathy moan as she stretches.

"You know exactly what you're doing." Josie strangles out, putting all of her effort into keeping her eyes above Penelope’s neck and her head out of the gutter. She’s not successful.

“Tell me.” Penelope encourages leadingly, artfully arranging herself against the pillows. Josie knows that this is all a game for Penelope, and a game that she is most definitely winning, but that knowledge doesn’t stop her from letting her eyes roam.

The worst part is that she knew that this would happen. The second she opened the door to reveal Penelope leaning against the frame, she knew exactly how it would end up. Josie knows how bad she is at focusing on anything else when Penelope was around her regularly, let alone when she was actively trying to distract her.

"I need to finish this reading." Josie tries weakly, proud that her voice only has a hint of begging in it. 

"You've been holed up here all week. You're tense.” Penelope says simply, crawling to the edge of the bed and resting on her knees. At the image before her, Josie’s thoughts disappear instantly, head empty. “I've been told I'm an  _ excellent _ tension reliever."

Josie shakes her head at Penelope’s smug tone. This is hardly the first time Penelope’s baited her but it’s always just as effective as it was the first time. That’s just the effect that Penelope has on Josie, she’ll always come back to her, even when she knows that they would never be allowed to be together in the public eye.

The thought causes pangs in her chest that Josie dutifully ignores. 

As she does anytime her feelings try to make themselves known, Josie searches for something to distract herself. It just so happens that there’s a very willing, very entertaining distraction not 10 metres from her. 

Josie lets her eyes roll over Penelope, shifting in her chair to make her ogling easier on her neck. Penelope looks back with hooded eyes, looking far more smug than Josie would prefer. It’s that look that makes up Josie’s mind. She flips her hair over her shoulder, dragging her eyes slowly up Penelope’s body until she’s met with a wide, amused smile and a cocky raised eyebrow.

"Oh?" Josie raises an eyebrow, her lips curling as she saunters towards the bed, "And who told you that?"

"Well, I'd never kiss and tell. She's quite high up in the court you see." Penelope says with fake innocence as Josie slowly backs her up towards the headboard.

Josie hovers over the grinning girl, leaning in just to pull away when Penelope tilts her head up. "Mmm. And you expect me to just take you on your word?"

"You can take me any way you'd like, Your Highness."

Josie laughs at Penelope’s bold flirtation and exaggerated eyebrow wiggle.

The laughter dies in her throat as Penelope begins to trail kisses down her neck. Josie scrunches her eyes shut, struggling to appear unaffected by Penelope’s ministrations. Penelope chuckles softly as her hands run up Josie’s back, catching her shirt and dragging it until it catches just under Josie’s arms. Her hold on the sheets tightens dangerously and with a reluctant groan, she pushes herself up and away from Penelope’s addictive touch.

Shifting to her knees, she straddles Penelope’s hips and pulls the other girl up with her. Penelope leans in and begins to suck a bruise into Josie’s chest, making her hiss.

“Penelope-” Josie gasps out, writhing under Penelope’s attentive lips and hands.

“I told you I’m good for tension relief.” Penelope chirps helpfully, punctuating her point with a rough bite to Josie’s collarbone.

Josie moans loudly as Penelope’s hands run down her thighs, encouraging Josie to wrap her legs around her. Josie lets out a surprised yelp as Penelope flips them over, landing Josie on her back and following her smoothly.

After getting her bearings, Josie throws her head back against the pillows with a desperate gasp as Penelope drags her nails down her stomach. Penelope cuts off the gasp with a kiss, whimpering a little when Josie bites at her lip. The sound makes Josie grin a little against her lips, her confidence through the roof at making Penelope vocalise with just a kiss. 

Penelope breaks away from the kiss to give Josie an incredulous look. Josie just licks her taste from her lips and shrugs unapologetically, hands remaining where she had slipped them under the sheet. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the one relieving your tension?” Penelope questions with an amused smile.

Josie grins cheekily and surges forward, hands sliding up Penelope’s back as she pulls her into a brief but deep kiss.

She pulls away with a teasing smile, “Are you sure about that? Because I’m not feeling very relieved right now.”

A predatory smirk creeps across Penelope’s face and Josie knows it should make her apprehensive but the shiver that runs through her is more anticipatory.

“Oh? Penelope tilts forward to purr the words against Josie’s lips, “We'll have to fix that, won't we?”

-

Josie feels the bed move as Penelope rolls onto her side to observe her. "Feel better?"

Josie smiles affectionately, letting the truth bubble out from her lips, tone too serious for the situation. "I always feel better when I'm with you."

Penelope’s smile fades and a fear enters her eyes. "Josie…"

Josie anxiously plays with her hands, eyes darting up intermittently to gauge Penelope’s reaction, "I mean it. I know we're doing this whole secret thing, but maybe-"

"Josie!"

"Sweetheart? You in there?"

Josie eyes widen in fear as her parent’s voices call from the other side of her door. Penelope jolts into a sitting position and mirrors her fearful look at the door.

“Shit!” Josie rushes around the room gathering scattered clothes. She carelessly shoves the pile of clothes at Penelope’s chest and pulls her to the middle of the room. “You have to hide!"

"Where?! The closet?!" Penelope whispers incredulously, not really giving Josie a good vibe about her suggestion.

Josie hesitates, screwing her face up uncertainly. "... No?"

Penelope’s dry, severely unimpressed look answers her and Josie searches desperately for another spot to hide Penelope. A sunbeam blinds her and Josie flinches back from the unexpected bright light. An incredibly dangerous idea comes to her involving the window, the girl and the trellis on the wall and she grimaces just imagining Penelope’s reaction.

It seems like Penelope may know her too well though because when Josie looks at her, Penelope is already glaring angrily. 

"You've got to be kidding."

"Do you really want my parents, one of whom is the current sovereign of this country, to walk in and see us like this?" Josie gestures at the two of them, both in their underwear and clearly just having rolled out of a bed with the marks to match.

Josie lets out an annoyed huff as she searches the room for her own clothes. At some point they’re really going to have to stop throwing each other’s clothes in every direction. It’s going to be hard to convince everyone that there’s absolutely nothing between them if people start walking in on the both of them half dressed together.

The sight of Penelope glaring furiously at her whilst clutching a bundle of her own clothes would make Josie laugh in any other situation.

"Josie, open the door!"

Just maybe not when her father is seemingly intent on beating down her door when she’s not dressed and her secret not-girlfriend is also naked in her room.

Josie casts a desperate look over her shoulder before looking back to Penelope, silently pleading. Penelope rolls her eyes up and shakes her head at herself.

"Goddammit."

Josie bites her lip to try and smother her hopeful smile as Penelope gets dressed in the most aggressive manner Josie has ever seen. Josie winces at how harshly Penelope pulls her shirt on and stomps to the window.

"Will you come back?"

Penelope sighs, giving Josie a look that, were it anyone else wearing it, Josie would call fond. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips as Penelope steps in closely, fingers lightly dancing up her stomach to the top of her yet to be buttoned shirt. 

Josie swears that she’s died and gone to heaven when Penelope swiftly does up her shirt for her, more so when she uses smoothing the wrinkles as an excuse to stroke her hands over Josie’s chest.

"I'm about to climb out of your very high window. I don't exactly do that for all the girls." Penelope’s voice sounds… affectionate. Josie swells for a moment before Penelope’s words fully register and a dark jealousy cloud comes and rains on her joy parade.

"’All the girls’?" 

Penelope laughs at the poorly concealed jealousy in Josie’s voice as she clambers onto the windowsill. She leans into Josie for one last hurried kiss before pulling back, laughing quietly when Josie chases her.

"Don't worry Princess, no one compares to you." She purrs with a wink.

And then she’s gone, speedily climbing down the exterior wall, leaving Josie with nothing but the taste of Penelope on her lips.

-

Penelope strolls into the sitting room after receiving the summons from her father. Given that she’s been avoiding any sort of contact with them since the Ball the previous night, she has a good guess as to what the summons was for.

"You seemed comfortable last night." Marion says as Penelope fixes herself a drink. 

Her words would come across conversational to anyone else but Penelope can hear the accusation within. When she had been told her parents requested her presence, she knew that this wasn’t going to be a fun family chat but she wasn’t expecting her mother to start them off.

"Yes. The two of you generated quite the buzz.” Edwin agrees darkly. Penelope raises her eyebrows slightly as she sips her drink calmly. She has been expecting this questioning from them since she first heard the whisperings about her and Josie after their dance last night.

"I told you that she would remember not a single one of her suitors." Penelope shrugs, stirring her drink absently. She smirks, every inch the confident manipulator her parents expect her to be, "It just so happens that no one else remembered them either."

Edwin chuckles approvingly, satisfied as Penelope knew he’d be by the notion. She ignores the squirming feeling in her stomach that comes from suggesting anything she feels for Josie is a scheme. Some lesser people might even mistake the feeling for guilt.

"Except for one." Marion states, sipping at her wine as Edwin and Penelope turn as one to frown at her. "Her sister. She spent the evening rounding up suitors. She’s engaged to the Mikaelson heir so she’s well connected and powerful in her own right.”

Penelope's chest tightens as Marion's eyes turn shrewd and calculating. That look on her mother has never resulted in anything good for Penelope. Having it focused indirectly on Josie made Penelope more nervous than she wanted to admit. One of the only good things to come out of leaving in the first place was that she could rest easy knowing Josie couldn't attract her parents attention.

Edwin must have caught the same expression because he leans in, listening intently. “What are you thinking?”

Marion eyes Penelope, assessing her with just a look, “That a single dance in one evening is not going to be enough to distract all of the suitors from the ball.”

Edwin nods, pausing as he considers his wife's words. Penelope watches on, pretending that she isn't hopelessly invested. She tries to disguise her nerves by strolling across the room and settling herself into the fireside armchair. She tells herself that the burning feeling in her chest is from the fire and not the persistent memories of the ball.

Edwin turns to Penelope intently. "If you really want this to succeed, you won’t be able to rest at an evening’s distraction. You will have to push forward, keep her off balance, keep her attention on you.”

“You want me to seduce her.” Penelope interprets, anger building in her chest.

“I just want to help you fulfil your potential.”

“You cannot be serious.” Penelope scoffs.

“You must put the needs of the family above all else. This is everything that we have worked towards.” Marion reasons.

“We do not have room for your weakness now, Penelope.” Edwin says strongly, knocking back the remains of his drink. He stands confidently, face hard and eyes cold as he glares down at Penelope who juts her chin out defiantly, “You would do well to heed our words.”

He stares down at her for a moment more before turning and marching from the room. Penelope glares at his retreating back, working her jaw angrily and debating the merits of just screaming. 

“If you’re going to be brooding for the rest of the day, I’d suggest a different location.” Marion advises conversationally. Penelope tops up her glass and tries to ignore the weight of both her mother’s eyes and the eyes from the portrait boring down on her.

Marion tilts her glass towards the portrait. “Somewhere warmer and friendlier perhaps.”

“This room has the largest fireplace; it’s the most comfortable.” Penelope says emotionlessly, resisting the ever present urge to gaze up at the portrait.

Marion smiles grimly. “You’ll find none of that to be true today.”

“I’d deserve it.” Penelope mutters solemnly into her glass.

Marion scoffs, rolling her eyes and standing. She brushes non-existent wrinkles from her clothes, “This is politics, darling. No one in this game ever gets what they deserve.”

Marion pauses as she passes Penelope. From the corner of her eye, Penelope sees her hand move slightly as if to rest itself on Penelope's shoulder. Marion thinks better of the move and instead balls her hand up, offering Penelope a stiff nod and striding from the room without looking back.


	4. wanna talk about anybody else but you (can't stop picturing my lips on you)

Josie slowly drifts back to consciousness as loud noises filter in. 

There’s a heavy weight on her chest and her arm feels numb. When she tries to shift her arm out from whatever is lying on it an unnoticed arm slung around her waist tightens and prevents her from shifting away. Her brain finally registers the weight as someone’s body snuggled into her and she freezes as panic floods her system. 

There’s someone in her bed. 

With her.

Her eyes slam open and she stares at the ceiling, mind racing as she tries to work out whose breaths are puffing against her neck. Searching her memory, the last thing she can clearly remember is leaving the ball and requesting wine be sent to her room. The rest is just a disjointed blur.

The arm around her waist tightens again and Josie feels the bed shift as the person shifts themselves closer. The feel of breasts against her at least tells Josie that it’s probably a woman, not that that really helps Josie’s panic. In fact, she might be panicking  _ more  _ now.

Josie screws her eyes shut tightly as she tries to work up the courage to open her eyes and see just how screwed she is. She steels herself to count to three before forcing herself to face her fear, just like her parents had taught her.

_ Please don’t be Penelope. Please don’t be Penelope. _




Josie’s stomach clenches with fearful anticipation.

_ It couldn’t be Penelope. She would know if it was Penelope.  _

_ Oh god, what if it  _ is _ Penelope? _




Her heart races and Josie desperately tries to bury and ignore the bolt of eagerness that shoots through her at the thought of lying tangled up with Penelope again.

_ Would it really be the worst thing if it were Penelope? _




Nervous anticipation floods her and she blows out a steadying breath before cracking her eyes open.

_ Penelope. Penelope. Penelope. Penelo- _ Hope.

It’s Hope wrapped around her. 

Josie feels pangs of disappointment that it’s not Penelope but forcefully shoves them down. She’s not disappointed, she’s relieved. Hope curled around her and not Penelope is a good thing, great even.

Lifting her head to further assess the situation, Josie can see Lizzie’s hair resting on the other side of the bed. Her sister sprawled out facing away from them, somehow still taking up the majority of both the bed and the blankets.

A throat clears and Josie whips her head around to find her mother standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed and looking unimpressed.

Caroline cocks an eyebrow at them, making no effort to quieten or soften her stern voice, “Please tell me you three actually got something out of last night?”

Lizzie groans loudly as she rolls onto her back, throwing an arm over her face dramatically, “Does a hangover count?”

“Shhhhh, ‘m sleepin’.” Hope grumbles sleep slurring her words, smooshing her face further into the space between Josie’s neck and shoulder. Lizzie grunts with effort as she lifts her head, blearily looking over at Hope cuddled into Josie.

She grunts again and lets her head drop back down onto the pillow. “Wrong twin, babe.”

“If you don’t let me sleep, I’ll marry Josie instead.”

“Fantastic, we’ll find the two of you a courthouse later. But for now I need the three of you awake.” Caroline steps forward, a loud clatter disturbing the stillness. Josie winces as her mother reaches down to pick up what she had inadvertently kicked- two bottles of wine, both largely empty.

Tension fills Josie’s body as Caroline slowly looks from the bottles in her hand to the girls in the bed, a supremely unimpressed eyebrow only adding to the displeasure on her face.

Hope, feeling the change in Josie’s body as she stiffens and tenses, pulls away and looks up curiously only to blanche and pale. Josie stifles a laugh as Hope tries to untangle herself from Josie as quickly as possible while also not drawing attention to the fact that they were tangled in the first place. 

Lizzie eventually takes pity on her fiancee and yanks her free, Hope yelping before shooting panicked eyes up at Caroline. 

“Um, this isn’t what it looks like?”

Caroline smiles tightly and hums agreeably, making Lizzie and Josie share a look and wince. Anytime their mother did that, it was swiftly followed by lecturing.

“So you didn’t come back in here after the ball, drink at least a bottle of wine each, and then collapse onto your bed until your long suffering mother comes in to wake you at noon?”

Josie grimaces sympathetically as Hope flounders under Caroline’s stare. She’s sympathetic for sure but there is no way she’s going to draw her mother’s focus onto her. She’s sympathetic, not masochistic. Hope looks at her with desperate pleading but Josie just shakes her head tightly, she receives a scoff from Lizzie when she tries for her help too. 

“Okay, it’s slightly what it looks like.”

Caroline shakes her head fondly with a small amused smile. Josie releases the breath she was holding and laughs as she sees Lizzie’s shoulders drop as she does the same. Josie’s head throbs dully, reminding her of her terrible life choices the night before, and she’s infinitely relieved she has nothing scheduled for the day. All she wants to do today is lie in her bed pretending not to be distracted by the non-stop thoughts of Penelope.

Josie stops herself from dwelling any further on Penelope. Even just thinking her name and laying in her bed all day in the same sentence will bring intoxicating memories to the forefront of her mind. Damn it, even just thinking that she  _ shouldn’t  _ be thinking about Penelope is dredging up images of Penelope lying in her bed. Josie blinks furiously as she tries to clear the image of a scantily clad Penelope from her head.

She’s thankfully distracted from her increasingly explicit thought pattern when Caroline pulls a piece of paper from her pocket and displays it ceremoniously.

“Who wants to explain this to me?” 

“It’s a list.”

Josie snorts and immediately Hope slams her hand over her mouth. Josie covers Hope’s hand with her own, thankful for Hope’s quick reflexes as Caroline’s eyes pass over her on their way to giving Lizzie a scathing look.

“Thank you, Elizabeth. Would you like to explain what is on the list? And if you say names…” Caroline trails off, letting the threat hang in the air.

“Those are Josie’s options.” Hope says quickly before Lizzie could say anything that could make it worse for them.

“My what?” Josie’s voice is muffled by Hope’s hand but her confusion rings through regardless. She pulls Hope’s hand from her mouth to peer over her to Lizzie.

“Your options.”

“Lizzie, I swear to god.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and Josie barely restrains herself from launching over Hope and smacking her sister until she makes sense.

“Last night? We went through everyone and we picked those five as the least awful.”

Caroline looks dumbfounded and Josie is right there with her. A slow horror creeps over her as a muddled memory resurfaces of the three of them going tossing names around as the night went on.

“You picked these five as potential spouses while you were all drunk.” Her mother questions dryly.

Josie sheepishly glances at Hope and Lizzie before looking back to her mother hesitantly, “... Yes?”

Caroline looks about as confident as Josie feels about their decision- not at all.

“In our defence, it sounded better last night,” Lizzie chimes in.

As their mother rolls her eyes heavenward, Josie wants nothing more than to sink through her mattress and the floors below her until she’s so deep that her regret and embarrassment can never find her again.

“Sounds like a solid plan with no potential to backfire.” 

Josie is  _ quite _ sure that her mum may have been using a touch of sarcasm there. 

Caroline primly folds the letter and drops it onto the bed, settling her now free hands on her hips for full lecture power. “Anyway, it was delivered to your father who has now asked them to stay on the grounds because apparently the Crown Princess wants to see them.”

Josie’s mouth goes dry and she swears her heart stops.

“Oh.”

“Yes,  _ ‘oh’ _ .”

“This is bad.”

“No, what’s going to be bad is when you have to go on a handful of first dates with people who now all think that they could be ruling the country before the end of the year.”

Caroline’s frank assessment leaves Josie desolate. She hadn’t even considered how difficult the actual ‘get-to-know-you’ portion of dating would be now that her date would know that she’s looking to get married. It was hard enough when she was just another royal but now that she’s the Crown Princess with said crown hanging delicately in the balance...

“I’m never drinking again.” Josie mumbles from where she’s buried her head in her hands.

“Don’t make any promises.” Caroline snorts and pats Josie’s leg lightly in what Josie is sure is supposed to be a comforting manner, “I have a strong suspicion you’ll need a stiff drink after some of these dates.”

“Maybe we can just put it all off?” Lizzie offers hesitantly, Hope nodding encouragingly from next to her.

Josie foolishly lets a wisp of hope spark within her. That spark is soon extinguished when she turns hopeful eyes on her mother who grimaces regretfully.

“Your father has taken it upon himself to schedule ‘appropriate outings’.” Caroline informs her sadly. 

“When?” Josie chokes.

Dread sinks in as her mum avoids her eyes. Her mum’s never avoided her questions before, but then, she’s never had to tell Josie that she has a council mandated first date with someone. 

“You have a stroll around the grounds with Jed Levin first thing in the morning.”

Josie groans, throwing herself back onto the bed. She snatches a pillow and holds it over her face to muffle her frustrated screams.

-

“Still standing in doorways, Milton?”

Penelope leans against the wall with a grin as the unaware guard jumps and startles at her teasing jab. He spins to her with an excited grin that reminds her of that of a puppy when it hears the door open. 

“Pen?! No way!” MG beams as he bounces over to her. Penelope pushes herself off the wall just in time to be engulfed in an enthusiastic bear hug. “I heard you were back, but what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a girl come and see her favourite doorman?”

“I got promoted actually. You’re looking at Her Majesty’s newest personal guard.” MG preens, Puffing out his chest and angling back and forth to show off his new uniform. Penelope obliges him, oohing and ahhing appropriately for MG’s smug posing.

“Oh? My apologies, good sir, I had no idea I was in the presence of such prestige.” Penelope replies imperiously, making a meagre effort to look serious as she sketches a mocking bow.

She looks up, a grin playing at her lips only to break into laughter when MG waves regally to a nonexistent adoring public. He joins her and Penelope swallows the regret that wells up. She’s forgotten what it’s like to interact with someone with no hidden political agenda, let alone laugh genuinely.

MG relaxes, blushing and fidgeting with his uniform. From knowing him for years Penelope is confident that if he weren’t in that uniform, he’d be rubbing at the back of his neck. “I mean, I’m not fully there just yet, I’m a palace guard right now but I know I’m going up.”

Penelope smiles at MG’s self-assured smile, his belief and optimism has always been her favourite of his qualities. 

“Speaking of guarding,” MG says, holding out his arm for Penelope to thread hers through, “I have rounds. Do me the honour of accompanying me, Lady Park?”

Penelope’s lips twitch up into a coy smile as she smoothly takes the offered arm. “The honour would be all mine, Sir Milton.”

Penelope lets MG guide her around the halls, flitting through topics comfortably and easily. He slowly brings them back around to familiar halls and they lapse into a comfortable silence.

Penelope sees an opportunity in the silence and slides her eyes to size MG up with a considering glance. She knows that she shouldn’t be mining her friendship with MG for information but if her experience in politics has taught her anything, it’s that you should use every resource at your disposal.

And as both a close friend to the twins and palace guard with eyes and ears around the palace, MG is quite the valuable resource. 

“You’re still in tight with the twins then?” Penelope says, voice dripping with forced innocence.

MG’s steps falter and he pauses, giving Penelope a suspicious look, “I am.” He drags out warily.

Penelope tries to fake offence briefly but MG maintains his scrutinising stare. She rolls her eyes and the affected offence and innocence melts from her face. 

“ _ Relax _ . I’m not up to anything suspicious.”

“See, now I just don’t believe that.”

“I’m wounded, Milton.” 

She’s not. And she’s fully aware the MG can tell. After all, it would go against everyone’s knowledge of  _ The  _ Penelope Park if she were to actually express any emotion that wasn’t portrayed through a smirk, quirked brow or sultry eyes.

“So you aren’t going after the throne then?” He shoots hotly. “Or Josie?”

If she’s being honest, it’s a little charming how protective he is over the twins. Well, not so much Lizzie, she could really take or leave the future Mrs Mikaelson. But she can’t deny the small comfort of knowing that Josie has someone like MG ready to defend her and her best interests.

It galls her that she can no longer cast herself in a similar role. No, the role she has been selected to play is more complex than the stalwart, loyal and true best friend. She’s no longer among Josie’s protectors, rather she’s the dastardly villain that Josie has to be protected from. 

Unbidden, Penelope’s head is filled with images of Josie after they danced at the ball. She was resplendent but then again, Josie’s fury had always lit a fire within her that grew until she was positively glowing with it. And no one could stoke the fire quite like Penelope. But it wasn’t the anger that had caught Penelope’s attention. 

No, it was what lay beneath that gave Penelope an uneasy mind. The betrayal and the  _ hurt. _ Her pain was so clear to anyone who knew where to look, as close as Josie could ever come to wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

The same heart that Penelope had once been gifted, held in gentle hands, only to give it back to its owner bruised and broken.

She had never wanted to hurt Josie but it looks like she’s just disappointing everyone these days.

“How is she?” Penelope asks softly, unable to bring herself to meet MG’s disappointed eyes. 

“You mean after your father got the council to force her to get married before her birthday?” 

Penelope scowls at his accusatory tone. She really wishes people would stop acting like it was all her idea. She was just as much a pawn in this game as anyone else, how is it her fault that her father thinks of himself as something more? Is it her fault that Alaric Saltzman has lost the council’s trust and respect to the point where they’ll listen to her father’s medieval ideas just to spite him?

“That wasn’t my call.” Penelope forces out through gritted teeth.

“And the dancing the other night?”

Penelope fights hard to keep her lip from curling at the scepticism, “I liked the song playing.” She says simply, a hard edge undermining the causal stance she affects.

MG shakes his head at her, pulling further away and crossing his arms across his chest. As if simply by taking a disappointed lecturing stance, she would somehow miraculously feel guilted into confessing to him. 

“You’re playing with fire. She’s already got enough going on with these dates-”

“Dates?” Penelope perks up. This is something new, she knew talking to MG would be useful. “Do tell.”

MG freezes, clearly having let something slip that he definitely should have kept to himself. If it weren’t so  _ very  _ interesting to her, Penelope might have even let it go. But he said dates, as in, Josie is going out on dates with people that aren’t Penelope.

Which obviously will require a closer inspection.

“Uhhh, what dates?” MG tries hopefully, his voice pitched up in an unconvincing effort to play dumb. Penelope gives him a dry, unimpressed look and MG deflates, spilling the information quickly as if by saying it faster he’s not giving her as much. 

“She’s going on dates with some of the suitors. To see who would be the best match, I guess.”

“When?”

“What are you going to do?” MG asks fearfully.

“Oh ye of little faith. I’m just curious.”

“Uh huh.” He sounds unconvinced. Probably fair considering even Penelope can feel the sharp and dangerous edge to the smile that was supposed to put him at ease. 

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me, right?” Penelope sighs heavily but nods nonetheless under MG’s furtive eyes, “Josie will be taking a stroll through the gardens tomorrow morning, accompanied by Jed Levin.”

Penelope’s lip curls and she scoffs, “A garden stroll? Romantic.”

“You’re not gonna try and sabotage it, are you?”

Were she a kinder person, Penelope might have tried to ease MG’s mind about her actions, he was her kind of friend after all, but she has never been accused of being kind. 

The only person who thought she was capable of kindness had been Josie. And that had been years ago with a different version of her, not the person she’s grown up to be.

It’s pretty unlikely that Josie would still think of her as kind.

Penelope clenches her jaw and turns away sharply. Falling into self-reflection and retrospection is not something she is about to do in the middle of some random palace hallway.

She tosses her non-answer over her shoulder as she walks away. “Thanks for the walk, Milton.”


	5. i look through the windows of this love (even though we boarded them up)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Death By a Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift

Penelope shifts impatiently on the stone bench. 

This was taking far longer than she had thought it would. She had to coordinate with five different staff who were known for their gossiping before she was able to work out the route that the royal date would take. 

Which leaves her here, lounging on the stone benches in an outfit that was only just on this side of appropriate. She’s pretty sure that there’s no way Jed Levin of all people is going to sweep Josie off of her feet ( _ and steal her away from you _ , hisses a part of her brain that Penelope promptly ignores). But Penelope hasn’t risen through the ranks of politicians by being unprepared and refusing to use every advantage she has.

“- said she was bored at my last game, can you believe that? But I doubt she’ll be bored when I show up with the princess on my arm at the next one.”

Jed’s incredulous rant is all the warning Penelope needs to inch back so that she’s less noticeable. It wouldn’t do for Josie to see her before she’s ready, half of her plans for speaking to her involve the element of surprise. Without it, she’s pretty sure Josie would either run or try to bring back public executions. 

Josie comes into her view and Penelope has to remind herself that she’s supposed to be lying low - something about Josie just always makes her crave her attention. Whenever they are in a room together, no matter how Penelope may pretend otherwise, Josie always has her attention. So Penelope feels it’s only fair to do what she can to keep Josie’s attention on her in return.It’s selfish, yes but Penelope has never claimed to be otherwise, Josie used to like how unapologetic she was, especially when it came to going after what she wanted.

Penelope wonders if this new Josie would like how Penelope nearly falls into the damn hedge while trying to keep out of her sight. She probably would but it’s not like she will ever get the chance to hear about it. Josie would never let Penelope close enough to talk to her even if Penelope managed to swallow all of her pride and self-preservation to allow Josie to see her vulnerable again.

Penelope shakes her head to clear it. She needs to be focused, not distracted by her own weakness when it comes to Josie. Josie who - now that Penelope isn’t overwhelmed by her presence and is actually  _ looking _ at her - looks worn down and pained. It’s not obvious and Josie is masking it well by keeping a politely interested smile on her face but Penelope has always been able to see through the facades she wears in public.

Joy blossoms in her chest and Penelope has to bite her lip to stop a beaming grin at the clear indication that the date has gone poorly. Josie’s polite smile is pinched at the corners and her face is showing the effort of keeping it in place. Her shoulders are stiff and square, one of Josie’s giveaways that she’s reaching the limit of her public persona.

Penelope figures that’s the reason for Josie’s barely masked wince. Or maybe that’s just because Josie is desperately searching for an excuse, eyes darting back and forth, “Oh, I don’t know if I’ll have the time…”

“Of course you will,” Jed snorts as he bulldozes over Josie's polite brush off. Penelope gapes in disbelief at his obliviousness, she can see the indignation roll off of Josie from her hiding spot. Something that is apparently invisible to Jed even though he was standing right next to her because he continues, “What other choice do you really have anyway? I’m clearly the best choice for your little engagement thing or whatever, your father wouldn’t have called me otherwise.”

There were no words.

Penelope really had no words. Neither did Josie apparently because the Princess looks completely dumbfounded.

“Wow.”

Jed, who had pulled his phone out and was fiddling with it, looks up at Josie’s dry tone. “What?”

Josie fakes a look at her wrist where she isn’t even wearing a watch, “I just realised the time,” Penelope clamps a hand over her mouth to muffle her bark of laughter, delighting in this version of Josie, a version she had seen plenty of when they were alone but an attitude Josie had staunchly refused to ever entertain around anyone else. “I have to go to a meeting with the treasurers’ council.”

“Whatever, sounds boring so I guess that’s all yours then.” His phone chimes and Jed grins as his thumbs fly across the screen. A scowl threatens to crest on Josie’s face and Penelope watches as her hands twitch in frustration. 

Jed blinks back to her and Josie’s scowl is gone, replaced by the mask of polite interest that Josie seems to have worn their entire date. Penelope sneers at him as that same possessive voice from before hisses in her ear how Josie had never had to feign interest or mask her emotions when she was with her. 

Jed smiles arrogantly and condescension drips from his voice, “I have to get going anyway, the boys and I have plans better than walking through gardens.”

“I would hate to keep you then.” Josie’s eyes roll and her mouth twists up into an approximation of a smile but Jed is already moving away and waving her off.

“Uh huh, I’ll, uh, call you or something?” He mutters, walking off without a backwards glance towards Josie.

Penelope waits for Jed to leave before slowly creeping out of her hiding spot. Josie is still standing where she was left and Penelope feels a pang of something unfamiliar in her chest. It could be guilt for how pleased she is, despite Josie’s apparent misery. Her shoulders are slumped and her head hangs lowly but all Penelope can think about is how happy she is that Jed was exactly as awful a date as she thought he would be.

Her guilt intensifies when Josie buries her head in her hands, causing Penelope to shift uncomfortably. This didn’t feel like a moment where she should come sauntering out of the bushes to kick Josie while she was down, this seemed like a moment where Josie was letting herself crack under the pressure while there was no one around to see her. No one she knew of at least.

Penelope shoots a furtive glance at their surroundings. They were basically alone, hidden away by the tall hedges that walled off this section of garden - which, really? Seems like a security risk if you ask Penelope - which leaves her with a choice. She can carefully sneak out of the garden and let Josie try to bring herself back together alone, or she can at least  _ try  _ to help. 

She worries her lip as she works over the pros and cons in her head. She really wasn’t in the best position to make Josie feel better right now given the state of their… Penelope wants to say relationship but that could be stretching things a little. So she may not be the best for this but the only other people near them were the guards and staff, and the last thing Josie needed right now was more people to pretend around.

At least if it’s Penelope, Josie won’t feel the need to subvert or hold back her anger. In fact, she’s probably going to redirect most of it straight at Penelope. She winces, already imagining the barrage she will most likely be copping from Josie in the very near future. Regardless, Penelope braces herself, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, before she lets herself fall back into her cocky facade to push forward into Josie’s awareness.

Penelope knows Josie heard her footsteps, her shoulders stiffen and her entire body tenses. She considers waiting for Josie to turn and acknowledge her first but then again, this entire venture was to allow Penelope to talk to her. It would be a waste if she let this golden opportunity pass her by.

“He seems great.” With just the right amount of sarcasm mixed with mocking enthusiasm, Penelope makes herself known.

Josie spins suddenly to glare at her except there’s a flash of something that was almost too quick for Penelope to catch. “What are you; stalking me?”

A slow smile stretches across Penelope’s face as she recognises that flash of emotion - Josie was  _ excited. _ She was  _ happy _ to see Penelope, even if it was just for a second, she wanted it to be Penelope there when she turned around.

“Hardly.” Penelope laughs, turning to inspect the hedges around them so that she could hide her genuine smile from Josie’s eyes. She took a few leisurely steps, humming happily when Josie’s head swivels, following her movements to keep her in sight, “I was simply enjoying my morning when I was disturbed by you and your…  _ companion _ .”

Josie’s lips twitch upwards at the disdain present in the last word as Penelope shoots a dark glare in the direction Jed had long since wandered off in. The sounds of the gravel moving snap Penelope’s attention from imagining the various ways she could make Jed Levin’s life  _ very _ difficult to bring it back to Josie. 

Josie sketches a shallow, mocking curtsy, smiling at Penelope, thin lipped and insincere. “My deepest apologies for disrupting your morning Lady Park.” 

Penelope feels her lips pull into a smile and knows logically that it’s the wrong response to such an attitude but when she pulls it out, there is never a side of Josie more fun. Evidenced by Josie’s blatant eye roll at her smile before she brushes past Penelope to leave. 

As she storms past, Josie lets her shoulders bounce off Penelope’s. Penelope shakes off the light impact and watches Josie go with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. As she watches her go Penelope realizes that the exit that would lead straight to the castle was behind her meaning the one that Josie is striding towards only leads further into the gardens. __

_ Away from the guards and staff, _ a small but persistent corner of Penelope’s brain notes smugly.

Josie reaches a corner of the path, flicking a look over her shoulder that sends a thrill right through Penelope. It would appear that her royal highness wants to turn their game of cat and mouse much more literal.

Happy to oblige Penelope follows, helpless to do anything but as Josie leads them through the gardens. It’s like something from Penelope’s less fun dreams, Josie so close but always just out of reach, one turn ahead, leaving only a fleeting glimpse for Penelope to follow. 

Penelope steps out from the corner to find Josie standing stiffly in front of one of the water fountains. She looks incredibly tense with her arms crossed over her chest. Penelope creeps forward slowly, alerting Josie to her presence. Josie doesn’t look at her,doesn’t show any sign of caring whether or not Penelope had followed her as intended.

Penelope doesn’t move any closer to Josie, just stands back and watches her quietly. This is the first opportunity she’s had to look at Josie - without any gossip mongers watching intently or either of their families pushing them to act a certain way. This is the first time that it’s just them without a need for pretense or polite politicking, it’s them as they used to be. 

_ Oh,  _ how Penelope has  _ missed _ this feeling. 

It’s not something Penelope has ever sought to explain to anyone. She had tried to explain it to Josie once when the other girl had asked and the closest she got was that it felt like she was free, like she was flying but that there was also something keeping her anchored and holding her steady. It didn’t make any sense to her as she tried to explain it but from the smile on Josie’s face and how she held her as she kissed her, she knew that the other girl understood the feeling.

Looking at Josie now, Penelope wonders if she still feels the same. It’s been years after all and Josie has clearly changed. She stands straighter and holds herself taller, seeming more confident and comfortable in her skin and her own power. 

There’s a new strength to Josie now. It was present when they were together but much to Penelope’s dismay, Josie was always holding herself back. Not anymore, the Josie standing in front of her is not the same Josie she left but Penelope feels the same about her regardless.

“You shouldn’t settle.” The quiet words fall from her lips before she can even think to stop them.

Josie freezes as the words shatter their unspoken silence pact. She turns and Penelope’s breath hitches when those eyes lock on hers.

“What?” Josie’s voice is equally quiet and Penelope swallows thickly, nerves building under Josie’s intense stare. 

“You shouldn’t settle. And certainly not for  _ Levin _ ,” Penelope’s lip curls distastefully at the notion. She pins Josie with serious eyes, desperately hoping her words will actually be heard and get through to Josie, “You can do so much better.”

“Jed can be a good guy.” Josie argues defensively. Penelope fights back her instincts to tell her how cute her frown looks. Somehow she doubts that will end with Josie falling dramatically into her arms like it does in her head.

Penelope rolls her eyes, arms crossing over her chest as she rocks back away from Josie. Once again, she feels that Josie’s naivety and general hope in others is still holding her back. 

“Just because someone has the potential to be a good person, doesn’t mean they are one.”

Josie’s eyes flash and Penelope bites her lip, unable to help how her body reacts to Josie, even when she’s clearly angry. “You would know more about that than anyone else I know.”

Penelope winces at the vitriol that Josie spits. Josie advances on her, not nearly finished with her, “And besides, it’s not like I have a lot of time to be spending on dates. Thanks to your father, I have a few months before I’m either married or obsolete.”

Josie’s anger sparks Penelope’s own and she’s snapping back before she can stop herself. “I didn’t know you were Crown Princess.” 

Josie scoffs disbelievingly and Penelope steps closer, ducking her head to find Josie’s eyes, voice stronger as she urges with the other girl intently, “I really didn’t. I thought it would be Lizzie.”

Josie pauses, Penelope’s words breaking through finally. “Why?”

“My father said that the weaker Saltzman would be taking the throne.” Penelope shrugs simply, as if that would explain everything. And in her mind, it did. If it was the weaker Saltzman taking the throne then it couldn’t be Josie, simple as that.

“And you assumed that was Lizzie?” Josie asks, confusion evident as she cautiously slips closer.

Penelope laughs lightly, “You’re many things Josie, but weak is not one of them.” 

Penelope hesitates, debating whether or not she wants to voice the fear that had been plaguing her for years. Unfortunately for her, Josie can read her as well and Penelope’s short hesitation is enough of a giveaway for Josie to catch.

“You’re lying.”

Penelope shakes her head, hoping Josie will drop it but knowing her well enough to know that she won’t. “I’m not.”

“Then why are you hiding something?” Josie cries, her frustration with Penelope’s caginess boiling over.

Penelope looks away as she shifts her weight uncomfortably. Josie is still glaring at her, eyes daring her to tell the truth and Penelope heaves a sigh, resigning herself to her fate.

“I had thought that you and Hope were....” 

Penelope trails off leadingly, gesturing with her hand like not finishing the sentence would be less embarrassing for her. She can feel the heat rising on her cheeks and turns her head down to try and hide her blush. It’s bad enough that she has to give this stupid thought a voice, worse still because it’s in front of Josie who she did not want to know how strong a pull she still has over her.

Penelope risks a quick glance up at Josie only to cringe. The anger and frustration that had been radiating from her had died off into a curious head tilt and an expression that Penelope knew meant that Josie was working it all out in her head.

“You thought I was engaged to Hope?” Josie’s confusion is quickly giving way to her amusement and Penelope steadfastly refuses to meet her eyes. This is embarrassing enough without Josie laughing in her face. “Is that why you don’t like her?”

“I like her just fine.” Penelope scoffs. Josie has a smile dancing along her lips and Penelope scowls slightly at the meagre effort Josie is putting into stifling it.

“You’re  _ jealous _ !”

“What?! No!”

Penelope’s knee-jerk indignation only serves to further Josie’s breathless laughter. Her scowl deepens and she glares with crossed arms as Josie continues to laugh at her.

“Of Hope! For being engaged to me!” 

Josie’s laughter finally wheezes out and Penelope rolls her eyes as her  _ very mature _ ex mockingly wipes nonexistent tears of laughter from her eyes. Josie may not be well known for her dramatic flare but that doesn’t stop it from making the odd appearance. 

“Oh, this is the best thing I’ve heard in weeks.”

“I wasn’t jealous!” Penelope protests to no avail, Josie just cocks an eyebrow and gives Penelope a disbelieving expression. Her lip curls at the other girls disbelief and she continues to insist, “I wasn’t. I was… concerned.”

There’s a light to Josie that Penelope hasn’t seen for a very long time and Josie’s even _smiling_ at her, granted it’s because she’s laughing at Penelope but still. Penelope rolls her eyes as Josie’s smile gains a cocky edge, she _knew_ that nothing good would come from Josie finding out. “About me being engaged to Hope?”

Josie’s cocky grin stays firmly in place, even with the genuine curiosity in her voice. Penelope sighs and drops her defensive stance - there’s not much point trying to keep it from Josie, they both know that she’ll tell her eventually so why delay the inevitable? 

At least if she tells her now it’s somewhat on her terms, “You are far too smart and driven to be hidden away in the shadow of anyone who thought that they could be a better leader than you could.”

Like she knew it would, Josie’s grin falls and her face drops into an unreadable mask. She sucks on her bottom lip and turns away from Penelope, shaking her head with an emotion Penelope couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

When Josie looks back at her, Penelope keeps her head high and clenches her jaw. She has conceded enough in this interaction, her pride won’t let her back down now, no matter how hard Josie’s eyes are. “But you’re happy with me being hidden in the shadow of some stranger who will be my fiancee in a few months.”

Penelope lurches forward, shaking her head rigourously, “Of course not.”

Josie rolls her eyes with a sarcastic scoff, “Right, And I’m sure you just  _ accidentally _ found your way out here just in time to run into us.”

“Accidents happen everyday.” Penelope shrugs with a wry grin.

“Not to you.  _ You _ have a plan for everything.”

“Which is a skill I will happily share with you in this trying time.”

Penelope’s chest swells with pride as Josie’s lips twitch at her helpful grin. The princess quickly schools her face into a blank mask before fixing a wide fake smile in place. 

“Great, I was just thinking about how any of this could possibly get  _ any  _ worse.” Penelope’s helpful grin slips into a smirk and she can barely stifle her laughter at Josie’s saccharine tone.

“Josie, I’m  _ hurt. _ ” Penelope dramatically clasps a hand over her chest, “It just so happens that I know the best person to help with your little marriage inheritance issue.”

“You know someone who is single, eligible, respected by the court, and wouldn’t be intolerable to be married to?” Josie asks sceptically.

“I may know a girl.” Penelope smirks.

“Really? Wh-” Josie’s face drops in horror as Penelope smirk only grows larger, “No. You’ve got to be kidding.”

Penelope swallows down the hurt and sting of Josie’s words and the horrified look on her face. Surely it wouldn’t be as bad as Josie is making it out to be. They’ve been having a good time haven’t they? Penelope had dragged Josie out of her funk after her failed date, had made Josie smile again. That had been  _ her _ .

Her arms come up over her chest defensively and she rocks back a step, any extra space she can get from Josie at the moment seeming like a positive. “You’d prefer to marry the charming Mr Levin?” she spits out with a scoff.

“I’d prefer not to have to marry  _ anyone _ but apparently that’s not in the council’s plans.” Josie’s pointed words have Penelope curling her lip instinctively.

“This really wasn’t my idea.” Josie’s eyebrows shoot up, her answering bark of laughter telling Penelope just how much she doesn't believe her, “Surely you have to know that, Jojo.”

Penelope again ignores the pang that resonates through her at Josie’s scorn. Yeah sure, she’s done some less than upstanding things but Josie has to know her better than to think that this entire mess would be  _ her _ idea. She’s still entirely on the fence about whether or not she even wants to participate in her parents scheme for the crown!

“How can I believe anything you say?” Josie’s defensiveness drops, leaving behind a shattered voice and the ghost of heartbreak fresh in her eyes. Penelope clenches her jaw and forces down the lump that builds in her throat in the face of Josie’s obvious distress.

She drops all pretense. Inexplicably, it is far more important for her to have Josie’s belief than for her to maintain the careful persona she has painstakingly cultivated over the years.

“Because you know  _ me _ , Jojo. Better than anyone else has, does or ever will.”

Josie closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly. It’s the escaping tear rolling down her cheek that breaks Penelope. She shoots forward to desperately grasp Josie’s hand in her own - begging, pleading, “Josie, please.”

Josie stills and her eyes are locked on their joined hands. Ever so slowly, her fingers wrap around Penelope’s in a light squeeze. Against everything her brain is telling her, Penelope can feel her heart start to beat a little faster as hope filters through. Her breath catches and all she can do is wait as Josie drags her eyes from their joined hands. She moves slowly, as if to take in every minute detail and change in Penelope since the last time she had been alone with her.

With a start, Penelope realises that this situation isn’t just rocking her, it’s also probably turned Josie’s world upside down. At least she had some forewarning that her family would be returning, enough to try and prepare herself to see Josie again, but Josie would have had none of that. The first she would have heard of Penelope being back was probably when she found out that Edwin Park had led the council’s decision. 

Knowing that, the fact that Josie is  _ smiling  _ at her and letting Penelope hold her hand is incomprehensible to Penelope. It took her nearly a week of giving herself pep talks and building the walls she keeps around her emotions even higher,  _ and still _ , the first time she saw Josie again it was all for nought. Just seeing Josie again, even having been as prepared for it as she was, was enough for Penelope to suddenly lose faith in everything her family had been working towards for years. 

But maybe that’s just the effect that Josie has on Penelope. And just because Penelope feels it, it doesn’t mean Josie has to. 

Penelope’s thoughts spiral down faster than she can catch them. By the time Josie’s eyes meet hers, Penelope is halfway to convincing herself that there was never anything between them - that Josie had always only gone along for her benefit. She finds herself corrected when she recognises the hunger in the back of Josie’s gaze.

She forgets how to breathe entirely when Josie reaches out, moving as if she’s going to cup Penelope’s face. It’s all Penelope can do to just stay conscious and upright, feeling frozen under Josie’s eyes and unwilling to move or speak in fear that would break the spell over them.

She could be imagining things here, but Penelope could swear that right now they are having A Moment. One of those moments where time stands still, one of those moments that everyone wants to capture and hold close to their heart.

It feels like they’re having one of those.

Which is why Penelope is so sure her cold heart fractures and shatters when Josie stops herself. Pulling her hand back rapidly and refusing to look at Penelope again as a flush rises in her cheeks.

“I have to go. Lizzie will want to know how my date went.” Josie mumbles, flitting her eyes to everything in sight that wasn’t Penelope. Penelope would laugh but she can’t force the sound past the lump of emotion blocking her throat.

“Of course.” 

Of course it’s Lizzie. It was always going to be Lizzie when it comes to Josie. Penelope chokes down her disappointment, taking a step back and pulling her hands from Josie’s. She breathes through the sting of rejection and forces a tight smile, praying Josie doesn’t question it. 

“Well I hope your next date goes better.”

Unsure of how long she could keep the strained smile on her face, Penelope nods jerkily and spins to beat a hasty retreat. Before she can get further than a few steps, something latches onto her wrist to stop her. Penelope slams her eyes shut to stop any emotion welling up before she turns to see Josie’s hand keeping her close.

At Penelope's curious look, Josie flushes further, stuttering syllables of aborted sentences to explain herself. It’s too much for Penelope. She used to enjoy the blush on Josie’s face when she was embarrassed and how she would trip over her words, trying to get them out all at once, but now she hates the uncertainty of it. Hates that she can’t find it within herself to step back and just keep going.

Instead, she steps in closer like a sailor drawn to a siren song. An appropriate analogy, Penelope muses, because she knows it’s dangerous but she would gladly let Josie keep her close until she drowns.

Her confidence buoyed by Penelope’s approach, Josie takes a bracing breath. Penelope lets out an airy laugh as Josie bounces ever so slightly in place, clearly giving herself a pep talk in her head. 

Josie’s head snaps up at the sound and she looks like a deer in headlights before she squares her shoulders, a nervous grin forming. “I- uh… I think this one ended pretty well.”

And then she’s striding past a stunned Penelope, letting her fingers ghost along Penelope’s in a light squeeze before moving for the exit. Penelope can only watch her go, gaping as she watches Josie walk - considering how fast she’s going, it’s really more of a run - until she’s just open-mouthed staring at some hedges. The edges of her mouth creep upwards until Penelope lets out a loud laugh.

Even though she walks away in the opposite direction from Josie, Penelope feels closer to the other girl than she’s been in years. And that’s enough for now.


	6. I know we're not together, but babe I won't forget ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from What I Need by Hayley Kiyoko and Kehlani

Josie bursts into Lizzie’s apartments, startling both of its occupants. “Alright, to no one’s surprise Jed was a bust.”

She locks her eyes on the inviting bed that seems to be calling her name. After the day she’s had, surely she deserves to throw herself onto the bed and bury herself in the fluffy pillows?

Of  _ course _ she did.

Josie buries her face in the soft pillow, releasing an involuntary groan as she sinks into the bed. She feels the mattress dip under someone’s weight but she couldn’t be bothered to roll over to check who it was. Her mind was stuck on the ending of her date and how that last 20 minutes had been better than half of the dates she had been on in the past six years.

A hand settles on her back, the owner lying next to her and brushing her hair back from her face. 

“Was it awful?” Lizzie asks sympathetically. 

Josie huffs out a breath as she heaves her head off of the pillow and turns to face her sister. She knows that she can’t tell either Hope or Lizzie about Penelope. Not after promising Lizzie to stay focused on basically everything but Penelope. 

With that in mind, Josie rolls over onto her back and stares at the ceiling, better than trying to lie directly to Lizzie’s face. “It was fine. He spent most of it talking about Alyssa Chang and bragging about himself.”

Hope perks up with a grin, “Hopefully your next date is better.”

Josie, letting the mattress lull her into the beginnings of sleep, hums agreeably. Then the words sunk in. 

_ Next. _

As in, another one.

Her eyes shoot open, wide and filled with dread as she jolts into a sitting position, “What?” Hope’s smile looks far more like a grimace and a quick glance shows Lizzie smiling in a way that says she knows she screwed up but isn’t going to back down or apologise for it. Even knowing it would be futile, Josie lets the whine slip into her voice. “Already? I only just got rid of Jed.”

Josie spares a mournful glance at the pillows that just seem to mock her with what could have been. She never thought she would long for the time, mere minutes ago, where her most pressing concern was how to not let it slip that she was thinking about Penelope.

“And while you were doing that, I generously worked out your next date so you didn’t have to.” Lizzie’s confidence brings Josie out of her head and drops her back into the slowly unravelling mess that is her current situation.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Josie can feel the oncoming headache but dares to ask anyway, “Who is it?”

"Jade."

Josie’s mouth drops and she’s pretty sure her soul has just left her body. “ _ Jade _ Jade?”

“Is there another Jade you know?” Hope asks innocently with a curious head tilt. If Josie were in a better headspace, she’d tease her about her similarities to a retriever.

“No, just the one.”

Oblivious to Josie’s strangled tone, Lizzie claps her hands happily as she enthuses, “Great!”

“Just the one Jade. Who I dated. And broke up with."

Silence falls as Josie finishes her statement. She catches the quick glance between Hope and Lizzie and feels a vindictive thrill as they both realise the situation they’ve landed Josie in.

“ _ This _ Jade is Rebound Jade?” At least Hope looked apologetic. Josie was going to protest the unfair nickname that Jade had been saddled with but honestly, it was kind of accurate.

“Why would you put her on the list?” Lizzie is far less apologetic and far more indignant as she rises from the bed to allow herself more room for her theatrics.

Josie’s own temper sparks to life at Lizzie’s accusatory voice. “You call her  _ Rebound Jade _ , it’s not like we were serious. We’re still friends.”

“You’re still friends with the girl you got your heartbreaker on with?” Hope looks like she can’t decide whether to be impressed or confused.

“I didn’t get my heartbreaker on!”

Lizzie laughs, Josie’s answering scowl barely putting a dent in her sister’s mirth. Hope sidles closer to the twins, her mouth twisting up as she looks at Josie regretfully. “You kinda did, Jo.” 

“You ran around thoroughly enjoying the  _ benefits _ of friendship with her,” Josie, in a move that shows what she considers to be heroic restraint, doesn’t comment or react to LIzzie’s exaggerated eyebrow wiggle, “She caught feelings, told you about them and then you immediately ended it. That’s heartbreaker behaviour.”

“When you put it like that it doesn’t sound great.” Josie concedes with a huff.

“It doesn’t sound great any way you put it. But," Lizzie drags out the word and Josie just knows that she has no way out of this, "You will have your chance to make it up to her on your date, built in icebreaker.”

Josie frowns incredulously. "How is that a built in icebreaker? 'Hey Jade, remember that time you told me we should date and I told you we should stop seeing each other?'"

Lizzie opens her mouth to argue but is stopped by Hope resting a hand on her arm. Both of the Saltzman’s look at her in askance but Hope simply shrugs. "She has a point."

“She’s going out on first dates with basically strangers with everyone involved knowing that the endgame is to be married in a handful of months. I think that awkward is to be expected.”

Hope thinks about it for a moment before shrugging again and turning to Josie, “ _ She _ has a point.”

Josie collapses back onto the bed with a groan, throwing her arm over her face sulkily. Her words are muffled somewhat but she makes sure to speak loud enough for Lizzie and Hope to hear them clearly.

“I want you both to know that I regret asking you to help me very much.”

-

“Are you as uncomfortable as I am?”

Josie’s answering laugh only has a thick edge of hysteria which is honestly better than what she expected. Jade’s eyebrows quirk and her lips tilt up in amusement as Josie buries her face into her hands.

Josie pulls back to prop her head on her hand, smiling wryly as Jade settles herself into a seat across from her. “You think you could be anywhere near as uncomfortable as me right now?”

Jade pulls her lips back in a sympathetic grimace. She eyes Josie closely for a second and Josie tries to sit up and look more engaged but she’s just exhausted. Her straining efforts must show because something that looks an awful lot like pity comes across her eyes. For the sake of her own pride, Josie ignores the pitying gaze, maybe the only thing that could make this mess worse is if  _ another _ of her exes pities her.

“I’d ask how you’ve been but I  _ did _ just get a letter nominating me as your potential fiancee so I think that about answers my question.” Jade says playfully as she reaches into her jacket to draw out a folded piece of paper.

Josie’s heart drops and she’s quite sure that her entire body is bright red with embarrassment.

“ _ You brought the letter?!” _ Josie desperately hushes the other woman as heads turn towards them after her incredulous shout sets off Jade's laughter. 

Cheeks burning red, Josie snatches the letter from where Jade had dropped it. She hurriedly stuffs the letter out of sight, glaring at the still chuckling Jade as she does so, "Please don’t remind me about any of this.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Jade holds her hands up in retreat, shrugging with an unrepentant grin, “I’m sure you would make a fantastic wife but I did think it was odd that I got a letter though.”

Josie wasn’t sure she could physically blush any harder than she already was. It has to already be some sort of medical marvel; how much more blood can rush to her face without her passing out?

She puffs her chest out and raises her head, stiffly trying to mask her nerves, “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Josie narrows her eyes suspiciously as a glint enters Jade’s eyes and her smile twists into a confident smirk.

“And I suppose it helps that we know we’re at least compatible.”

“It may have come up when we made the list.”

“There’s a list?” Jade asks delightedly. She leans forward, smirk growing into a conspiratorial grin, “Where did I rank?”

“God, stop.” Josie forces out through a laugh as she waves off Jade’s attempt at pleading eyes.

"Come on," Jade begs to no avail. Changing tacks, she sits back in her chair and pouts, "You have to tell me. I'm your designated rebound."

"What!" Unfortunately, Josie had taken a sip just before Jade finished. She splutters, trying to think of a way to deny Jade’s assertion without outright lying to her face, "I- I have no- Why would you…"

Jade lifts a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, shooting Josie an easy half-smile, "I heard your sister calling me Rebound Jade in the hall earlier."

Of course she did. And of course Lizzie was saying that in the hall.

Josie loves her sister very dearly but she is not blind to her faults. Like her apparent complete confidence in trash talking the very same woman her sister has to try and woo later that very day.

"Oh my god." She covers her face with her hands, "Jade, I'm so sorry."

"Eh, don't be. I've been called worse." Jade flippantly waves away Josie’s apology with a lazy hand. Her smile turns devilish and her eyes grow playfully flirtatious, "And it's not like being your rebound was a punishment for me."

Josie bites her lip to stifle her smirk. “Still.”

Josie’s lips twitch upwards when Jade exasperatedly rolls her eyes. Jade’s exasperated expression is betrayed by her earnest voice as she reassures, “Josie, it’s really okay. I’m a big girl and it was a long time ago, everyone’s moved on by now.”

And it’s true. Anything romantic between Jade and her had ended long ago and everyone involved has happily moved on. Because that’s what supposed to happen when teenage romances fall through, you mourn and then you move on.

So, why does Josie still get caught up in what she should have left far behind her in the past? She can sit here across from Jade, the woman she - as her sister insists, ‘got her heartbreaker on with’ - and talk like old friends instead of old lovers but when it comes to Penelope...

“What if they haven’t?” 

The question comes out unbidden. Josie was too caught up in her thoughts to catch the words before they leapt out. Jade slows to a stop, brows furrowing as she looks at Josie in confusion but now that the train of thought has started, Josie cannot stop the words as they come faster. 

“Moved on.” She explains hurriedly, leaning forward intently as the words trip over themselves in a race to fall from her lips. 

It could even be good to talk, she rationalises with herself, Jade is an unbiased third party with no real personal interest in the matter. She can be Josie’s sounding board. She wasn’t there for the first whirlwind between Josie and Penelope so she can look at this with fresh eyes and tell Josie if she’s just finally going crazy.

“What if they know that they should and thought that they had, but then it turns out that it’s still there, hiding and waiting.” 

She knows she’s not making a lot of sense, that she’s been intensely ranting with her eyes focused on points in the distance, that Jade is probably hopelessly confused but there’s a lifting of some of the pressure that had been building in her chest and Josie can’t really find it in herself to feel too guilty for unburdening herself onto Jade. 

She musters the courage to glance up, gauging Jade’s reaction. Jade looks taken aback, all wide eyes and raised brows, the guilt that Josie couldn't find suddenly makes itself known.

She forces a light laugh and tries to walk it all back. “Sorry, I’m being stupid. I’m trying to work through some stuff I guess.”

“Well, I know that you’re not talking about anything we had." Jade rests her forearms on the table and leans forward, the picture of an avid listener. "So, why don’t you walk me through it?”

“I couldn’t.” Josie shakes her head, dismissing the idea. Now that Jade is actually offering it, she’s realising how odd it would be to unpack her complex feelings for her maybe-girlfriend-but-definitely-something from six years ago with the woman she used as a rebound, also six years ago. 

Lizzie would have a field day and never let her live it down.

“Why not?” Jade tilts her head with a playful smile, “What’s the point of staying friends with your rebound girl if you can’t work through your feelings with them?”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

Josie laughs as Jade pushes to her feet and exaggeratedly offers her arm to Josie with a gallant sweeping bow, “I’m walking you back to your rooms and on the way, we can work through your stuff, okay?”

They make their way back to Josie’s rooms slowly as Josie recounts her entire history with Penelope; how they met and started sneaking around, how they had never put a label on it or given what they had a name, how it was enough that they were each other’s, how they were  _ happy _ , how one day Penelope just up and left.

She even told Jade about how Penelope coming back had kind of done a number on her. How she swooped in at a ball of all places, like she had read a younger Josie’s journal of ‘things that are romantic’. Older Josie was more infuriated at her presence but at Jade’s sceptical expression she admitted she had maybe swooned a little -  _ miniscule _ \- amount. She told Jade about her promise to Lizzie and how she broke it by leading Penelope through the garden maze, and how her pesky feelings - that she was quite sure were dead - have come back with a roaring vengeance.

Josie is relieved that it turns out that she was right and that telling Jade was a good idea. Jade hadn’t interrupted her, just let her talk and had actually listened to all of it. By the time they get into Josie’s rooms, she really does feel lighter, no longer carrying the weight of keeping secrets alone.

Just as they enter Josie’s rooms, Jade pulls them to a stop. Josie gives her a curious look but Jade just thrusts her chin at the table in the middle of the room, “Looks like someone’s got a gift.”

Josie follows her eyes and sees it lying there, an envelope with her name on it. Without seeing any more than that, she already knows who it’s from. Her feet take her across the room mindlessly, she tentatively opens it and pulls out the postcard within it. Her heart thumps loudly in her ears as the emotions clog her throat and cloud her eyes.

“Oh.”

“What is it?” Curious at Josie’s reaction, Jade pokes her head around Josie’s shoulder to get a peek,“Is that a postcard of this town? That you live literally 15 minutes from?” Not waiting for a response, she grabs the empty envelope inspecting it while Josie remains clutching the postcard, “Kind of a shitty gift. Is there a note?”

Josie, lost in the swirling storm of thoughts and emotions the postcard brings, distantly hears Jade’s question and answers softly. “There won’t be. I know who it’s from.”

She catches Jade’s curious look from the corner of her eyes. “Penelope?”

Josie feels her lips tilt up. She’s certain that her confidence was what gave it away for Jade. She can’t help it though, she’s a little embarrassed at how taken she is from a simple postcard. But that just seems to be the effect that Penelope holds over her, Josie will forever be beholden to their memories.

Josie glances quickly to Jade with a smile before returning her eyes to the silhouetted sunset image on the card. “This is where we went on our first date.” 

Jade lets out a quiet ‘oh’ but Josie is too lost in her perfect memories. “She sneaked us out and we pretended we were just two regular girls; no guards, or thrones or council meetings.” 

She trails off, smiling softly at the photo on the postcard, “It’s still one of the best dates I’ve had.”

Suddenly, she’s 16 again; hopelessly smitten and desperately trying to hide it. Butterflies from a time long passed once again fill her chest and flutter toward her heart.

“Damn.” Jade exclaims, shaking her head to herself with a small smile, “Glad I didn’t have any ideas of winning your heart today.”

“Why?” Josie breaks herself from her reverie to frown in confusion.

“Because I don’t think anything I could have done would hold up if you came back and saw that,” Jade says simply as she gestures to the postcard. “I’ll give it to her, she’s every bit as smart as you say.”

“You think this is a trick?” Josie looks back down to the postcard, gone are the warm feelings from before, chased away by the creeping dread that not even  _ a postcard _ can be safe for her now. She could feel the butterflies drop to settle like stones in the pit of her stomach, dragging her back down from the heights of her joy. Her entire life is now just one big guessing game to try and uncover the layers and meanings behind everything. 

Did she really think that a gift from  _ Penelope _ would be free from that?

She almost misses it when Jade carefully steps around into her view. She looks hesitant which makes Josie nervous. The entire point of telling Jade everything was that she could use Jade’s unbiased judgement, if Jade comes back saying that Penelope is a risk and that she is a liability, Josie will have to walk away. 

And she’s starting to realise that she doesn’t want to walk away from Penelope. Not this time, not again.

Jade clears her throat, buying herself some more time to choose her words. “I think that she knew how poorly your last date went, and since showing up in person would be pushing that whole stalking thing, she did the next best thing and sent you a memory of the two of you.”

It isn’t an outright condemnation which shouldn’t be enough for Josie but it is. She’s clinging to the hope that blooms without the recrimination she was expecting.

“You think so?” Josie asks hopefully, face brightening with the promise of a chance.

“Josie, you showed more emotion just  _ seeing _ that card then you have during this entire ‘date’.” Jade states frankly. Josie ducks her head as Jade smiles knowingly as she teases, “I think it’s safe to say that she’s successfully swept those feet.”

“What should I do?”

“You could talk to her, work it out and see where the both of you land.” Jade says as if it should be obvious. 

As if that’s something Josie can just go ahead and  _ casually _ do - just go ahead and talk about her feelings about Penelope…  _ with  _ Penelope. There’s no guarantee that Penelope even feels that way about her, all she has to go on is the word of what? People who have even  _ less _ of an idea of Penelope’s feelings than her? 

With the deadline for her council mandated marriage creeping ever closer, she needs something stable and reliable and she needs it  _ quickly _ . The possibility of anything happening with Penelope, while thrilling and terrifying in equal measure, is not something that Josie can pin her hopes on. 

Her thought process must show on her face because Jade’s mouth twists down and her eyebrows raise, “Ooor, you could just bury our head in the sand and hope that someone else on that list of yours can hit it off harder than you and your girl.”

Josie bites her lip anxiously. “How hard could that be?”

Jade blows out a breath before giving Josie a cutting sarcastic look, “I don’t know Jo. It’s not like either of you have fallen into any emotional turmoil within two months of meeting again after six years.”

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Josie winces and resolutely avoids making eye contact with Jade. 

With one last look at the postcard in her hands, she gently places it down on the table and pulls herself away. As she walks away, Josie pretends that she can’t hear Jade’s not-at-all subtle call from behind her.

“Uh huh. You speak that into existence!”

-


	7. cause I'm just a fool in love, watching the world light up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Light Up by salute feat. Liv Dawson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, things have been a big juggling act lately and it turns out that i cannot juggle.
> 
> I hope this chapter makes up for it

Penelope stifles a yawn and struggles to keep her eyes open. Even after years of doing it, conference calls across different time zones are still a bitch. She’s spent the last 20 hours locked in an increasingly stuffy office on a video call with three other countries negotiating the final version of an agreement that she’s been working towards for the past two years. 

She hasn’t slept in far too long and has spent way too much time locked in a small room with far too many lawyers and politicians all nitpicking every single word. She finally escapes the negotiations with her freshly inked deal and the blast of fresh air that hits her makes her head spin for a concerning amount of time. All she wants to do is stumble back to her bed, fall into it, and stay in it until her negotiation-induced headache has faded.

Which is why  _ of course _ she stumbles across Josie and some cheekboned dude who has to be her latest date. Why wouldn’t the first time she sees Josie since their garden revelation be when she’s exhausted and frustrated and Josie’s on another date? Why wouldn’t that be happening to Penelope right now?

Josie is apparently taking her date on the grand tour of the palace. It takes her a moment of confusing familiarity with Josie’s words before Penelope recognises the spiel from the many times she had to hear it in her youth. Hiding behind the pillar now is bringing back her teenage memories of ducking behind a similar pillar while waiting for Josie to finish a tour with Lizzie.

She picks up another unfortunately familiar voice coming down the hall she had just walked. A despairing glance confirms her niggling fears - the contract lawyers and politicians are all circled together congratulating each other. Her upper lip twitches in annoyance, her pride demanding that she go over and have them give her the credit she deserves. After all, she’s been the driving force behind this deal for  _ years _ , but her pride is beaten down by her sense. Going over or allowing them to notice her will only trap her in another lengthy, droll lecture. Not something she wants to even think about right now.

She quickly peeks around the pillar and has to fight the urge to bang her head against the wall. She just cannot catch a break - from her endlessly tiring negotiations she walks straight into Josie’s tour date and, she is now hiding behind a pillar with the two of them coming directly at her with no viable escape route.

Josie’s voice breaks into Penelope’s futile efforts to plan an escape from between this rock and hard place, “-my mother taught me.”

The pride in Josie’s voice when she talks about her family never fails to make Penelope roll her eyes and smile at the same time. It’s an embarrassing reaction and gives away too much in terms of her emotions but she’s not overly bothered by it. She’s never had the relationship with her family where she would be overrun with pride when talking about them, so she’s glad Josie does. 

Penelope turns her head and inches forward just enough to see the small but shockingly bright smile that Josie always develops when she talks about her happy family memories. It’s in the top ten of Penelope’s list of ‘Favourite Josie Smiles’.

(She wrote the list as a love drunk teen who was also just regular drunk at the time. 

It was all MG’s fault. 

That’s what she said the morning after she wrote the list and she will stand by it to the day she dies.)

She runs judging eyes over the guy she supposes is Josie’s date. She can feel the skepticism send her brows to her hairline. She isn’t impressed with her evaluation. 

Sebastian Whats-his-face. 

Not anyone Penelope has ever met in person but she’s heard enough about him through the courtly gossiping that she doubts he’ll prove her initial judgement of him being douchey and arrogant wrong.

“I thought your mother was dead. Is that not why Alaric Saltzman is ruling?” 

Well. 

That didn’t take long at all for Penelope to be proven right. It might even be a record. She can’t even silently celebrate it because she’s so in awe of the blatant insensitivity on display.

Josie openly gapes at him too which makes Penelope feel a little better about her stunned mullet impression. Josie’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly for a moment before she somehow manages to pull herself together enough to give an awkward and uncomfortable explanation.

“My biological mother died before Lizzie and I were born, Caroline was her surrogate and she gave birth to and raised us both.”

“Caroline Forbes, the ambassador?” Sebastian’s eyebrows rise and Penelope can just feel an edge in the air. She’s stepping out from the pillar, set on stopping him before he can continue but it’s too late, “Well, I guess we know how she got that job.”

Josie’s ears slowly turn red as he talks and Penelope swears she can hear the steam pouring out of them. She practically sprints the remaining distance. Sebastian must hear her steps because he looks up but Josie is too far gone in a haze of rage.

Penelope slides in between them just as Josie is opening her mouth to respond, smoothly cutting her off and positioning herself directly in front of Josie with her back to Sebastian. Giving her the best chance of catching Josie should she choose to simply forgo words and just hurl herself at her date- fists first.

(It also has the added benefit of not having to look at his stupid, glass-cutting cheekboned face. But that’s neither here nor there.)

“Excuse me, terribly sorry to interrupt,” She isn’t and that comes across clearly in her tone. Penelope wouldn’t really class this as an interruption anyway. It’s truly much more of a rescue. A rescue for who, she’s yet to decide, but a rescue nonetheless.

Josie’s fiery eyes flit to hers sharply and Penelope hisses a breath between her teeth at the boiling anger bubbling just beneath Josie’s waning self control.

“Then don’t. We’re quite busy here so you can leave.” 

Sebastian speaks and Penelope hates him a little more just for his accent miraculously making him  _ more _ annoying to listen to. And honestly, how oblivious can he be? Josie is all but foaming at the mouth and he wants to continue to subject her to his ‘company’? Penelope silently edits her earlier judgement; he’s an arrogant,  _ idiotic _ , douche.

She spins on her heel to face him sharply, curling her lip in distaste as she makes no secret of her disdain for him. Penelope sincerely hopes that it is Lizzie choosing these dates and not Josie because if it’s Josie, she’s going to have to question everything she’s ever thought about the girl and her taste. 

“Her Highness is required for classified negotiations.”

“And you’re what? The messenger pigeon?” He smirks, laughing as if he wasn’t taking his life into his hands. A sudden heat at her back and tension in the air tells Penelope that his snide remark is enough to splinter Josie’s restraint as the other girl inserts herself into the conversation from over Penelope's shoulder.

“Sebastian, this is Penelope Park. One of our top ambassadors and a certain future council chair.” Josie’s words are confident to the point of being smug. 

Penelope’s heart does a flip or twenty and she has to clench her hands to stop herself from fist pumping because Josie was  _ bragging _ about her. To Josie’s own date. She’s pretty sure that it would be tacky to stick her tongue out at Sebastian so she settles for a haughty smirk, the somewhat more mature version of sticking your tongue out.

Sebastian’s arrogant face falters and Penelope basks in the satisfaction that comes with watching arrogant, self-important men realise they’re outmatched. 

She offers her hand with a saccharine smile, “I believe I’m meeting with your father soon to review his contract with the state and decide whether or not to renew it.”

“I see.” Sebastian’s face twitches in anger before it smooths quickly. Maybe he’s not as idiotic as Penelope thinks because he clearly picks up on Penelope’s barely veiled threat.

“Good. Now,” Penelope’s smile drops and she hears Josie chuckle as she flicks her head towards the exit, “We’re quite busy here so you can leave.”

Sebastian’s mouth twists in rage but he says nothing, just stands there working his jaw angrily. Normally, she would let him try to regain some dignity but today she’s exhausted and he insulted both her and Josie. Penelope stares him down with a raised eyebrow and she can feel Josie’s sadistic glee when he turns on his heel and stalks off without a word.

Penelope watches him go with a grin as Josie steps next to her and draws her attention with a shoulder bump. 

“Thank you. He has to be the worst one yet.”

Penelope lets her head fall to the side with a droll look. “I hear he grows on you.”

Josie looks horrified and purses her lips, “Like a venereal disease, I’m sure.”

Penelope laughs and if her laughter trails off when she sees Josie’s proud little smile then that’s no one’s business but her own.

Her previous confidence abandons her completely now that she’s facing Josie alone. She didn’t even have time to plan out clever rejoinders and witty quips. At least she has the interaction with Sebastian to ride off, Josie always did ‘secretly’ have a thing for Penelope shutting people down and forcing them to back off.

Her attention is immediately diverted when Josie darts her tongue out to wet her lips. Focused so heavily on Josie’s lips, it would have been impossible for her to miss the slow smile that forms when Josie realises where her eyes are locked.

She snaps her eyes up but it’s too late. The fire in Josie’s eyes is still there but now there’s amusement dancing through her eyes too. She cocks an eyebrow, smirking before walking on through the hall.

Penelope keeps pace as Josie beckons her along, an extra bounce in her step definitely  _ not _ the result of Josie’s conspiratorial grin, “I heard you’ve been working on something big.”

She sucks on her teeth and gives Josie a pitying look, “Mmm, wish I could tell you about it but it’s top secret. You know, fully hush hush.”

Josie scoffs, rolling her eyes with a smile, “Oh, fully.”

Penelope’s head spins for a minute; exhaustion, stress and Josie induced cardiac irregularities all catching up to her at once. The light in the hall bounces off the shine of Josie’s lipgloss succeeding in trapping Penelope’s attention again. Even more than usual given Penelope’s exhaustion compromising her normally strong willpower and her self taught resistance to Josie’s charms.

She clears her throat gruffly, darting her eyes back up to Josie’s before the other girl can notice her divided attention. “Sorry you weren’t able to finish your tour. I know the East Wing is your favourite.”

Josie shrugs, easily waving the apology away, “It’s okay, I was phoning it in anyway.” 

“Are your options always this terrible?” Penelope can’t stop herself from blurting the question that’s been spinning around her mind.

Now that she’s seen the average calibre of the dates that Josie is being subjected to, she’s curious about the ones she hasn’t seen. It’s not even entirely from a jealousy standpoint. It’s only like, 75% jealousy. The rest is a mix of pity for Josie and disbelief at the council for approving of these idiots in the first place.

“You know,” From the grin on her face and the gleam in her eyes, Penelope is pretty sure that the only thing she knows is she’s going to be heavily embarrassed. She’s not sure how Josie can flip so easily into teasing her but she can’t decide if she hates it or loves it. Probably both. “I don’t even think they would walk me to my room. And you can forget about climbing the building!”

Penelope laughs softly even as she’s overcome by bittersweet memories of a time where everything seemed so much simpler. “Despicable. Where  _ has _ all the romance gone?” 

-

Penelope closes her eyes against the nausea that roils when she catches a glance at the ground that is suddenly much farther away than she would have thought. In hindsight, climbing up the outside of the palace to knock on Josie’s window seemed more romantic from the safety of the ground.

“Oh God, oh this is  _ high _ . It’s cool, I’m fine, everything is fine.” Her self assurances do nothing when a sudden breeze kicks up and throws her balance a little off. “Yep, okay, enough of that.” 

She clings to the bricks and inches along the ledge, breathing a sigh of relief once she reaches the relative safety of the wider ledge outside Josie’s window. A quick glance proves that Josie is exactly where she thought she would be; lying on her stomach reading a book on her bed. 

Josie’s head shoots up at the sudden knock that sounds through her room. Penelope groans and knocks on the window again when Josie tries to go for the door. One day, when her two feet are safely on the ground and not a very elevated ledge, she’s going to tease Josie about how she couldn’t tell the difference between the sounds of glass and wood. 

Josie’s eyes widen dramatically when she sees Penelope clinging to the outside of her window. She rushes to the window and, much to Penelope’s increasing hysteria, fumbles with the lock in her haste. 

“ _ Penelope?! _ ” Penelope ignores Josie’s shriek as she not so gracefully tumbles through the finally open window. “What the hell are you doing on my windowsill?”

“Being romantic?” Penelope attempts weakly as she clambers to her feet, dusting off her outfit as she rises. 

“Really?” Josie’s eyebrow raises, voice dripping in disbelief as she places a hand on her hip. Both are pretty good indicators that Penelope is going to be in trouble. It’s something she should have expected. When Josie is scared that fear normally morphs into anger at whatever is scaring her, and Penelope risking death just to be corny may have frightened her a tad. “Because you threw yourself through that window pretty quickly there.”

Penelope winces. She’s  _ definitely  _ in trouble with Josie, “I just can’t wait to be closer to you?”

“Nope.”

“Fair enough.” 

Josie continues to look unimpressed so Penelope pulls out the big guns. She steps in close and leans in closer, a satisfied grin on her lips when Josie’s breath hitches and her eyes cannot stop darting to Penelope’s lips. Her hand drops to grip Penelope’s hip and from Josie’s visible struggle between pulling her closer and pushing her away, Penelope knows she’s got her. “I’m saving all my romance for our date.”

“Date?” Josie repeats softly, eyes glazing over where they’re focused on Penelope lips. Penelope bites her tongue as realisation flashes through Josie’s eyes and her eyes spark and shoot up as a genuine, sure to be heart-stopping smile begins to form. “Our date? As in the two of us?”

“That was the idea.” Penelope grins widely, Josie’s reaction restoring her confidence that may have been shaken - a teeny,  _ tiny _ bit - by her climb. She reaches out to bring Josie’s other hand around her waist so that she’s safely ensconced in her arms. 

She goes willingly when Josie’s hold tightens and pulls her flush against her. It’s almost automatic at this point, whenever they’re near the other, they want to hold each other as close as possible for as long as possible. It’s probably the whole ‘secret maybe-girlfriends-definitely-something’ thing they’ve got going on.

Penelope smirks as her fingers play with the ends of Josie’s hair, “I bet the whole window thing is seeming more romantic now, huh?”

“Is it though?”

Penelope huffs and pulls herself free of Josie’s arms. 

The resulting pout and sad eyes are almost enough to bring her back in but she has a masterplan to stick to. If she wasn’t going to be swayed by the daunting task of climbing the outside of the castle without falling or getting shot, then she’s not about to give it up for Josie’s persuasive pout. No matter how easily she will usually cave to its whims, this time is different because she’s betting on this time being special.

She lets herself fall backwards onto the bed with a deep, dramatic sigh, “When will you just admit that you’re hopelessly charmed by me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Josie denies, following Penelope to the bed and settling her knees on either side of Penelope’s hips.

Penelope props herself on her elbows to get closer. She’s never had a great track record of resisting Josie and it’s even less likely when Josie is straddling her in her bed. She stares -  _ gazes _ , really - up at Josie, the light streaming in through the window forming a halo around her. 

Penelope’s breath hitches and catches in her chest at the sight. The words she longs to say burn at the back of her throat but it’s too soon and not enough. They haven’t even gone outside the castle walls together, trapped in hidden corners and abandoned rooms by their own lie. And the words, strong as they are, just don’t seem enough for Penelope to convey everything she feels for this angel above her.

The words taste like fire and leave a burning trail down her throat when she pushes them down to live in her chest once more.

“So, what do you say?” Her voice rasps like she just did swallow fire, she sucks in a steadying, nervous breath and reaches up, tenderly tucking some hair behind Josie’s ear. “You, me, awkward first date conversations and silences?”

Josie catches her hand and presses a kiss to her palm, “How awkward can it be when we can’t leave these four walls?”

Penelope casts an obvious look around Josie‘s  _ more _ than spacious room, “I think it’s a little more than four but sure.” She winds her arms around Josie’s waist, supporting and keeping her in place as Penelope sits up, “Aaand, what if I told you that our date will not be in these more-than-four walls but in town.”

“How?”Josie winds her arms around Penelope’s neck and gives her a stern look, “And don’t say ‘your ways’.”

“I thought you liked my ways.”

Josie leans in close enough to let her lips brush against Penelope’s pout but pulls back as Penelope pushes forward. Penelope shakes her head at the move but still lets herself be sucked in close every time. She’s so drawn in by Josie that she almost misses the words ushered against her lips, “I’d like them a lot more if you told me how you plan on getting us out of the palace for this date.”

Penelope smiles before taking Josie by surprise and flipping her onto the bed. She bounces with a surprised shriek of laughter while Penelope hovers over her with a smirk. She slowly settles her weight over Josie, delighting in the way her eyes darken like someone hit a switch. She gets her revenge by hovering just out of Josie’s reach, pinning her arms next to her head so she can’t reach out and touch either. 

Josie pouts before a wicked gleam comes in her eyes. Penelope barely has time to brace herself before Josie is rolling her hips up into her. Penelope has to change tack immediately before she gets sidetracked and they end up never leaving these walls. Holding Josie’s hands with one of her own, Penelope forces her rolling hips into the mattress to still them.

“I’ve got a car waiting to secret us off into the sunset. You just have to trust me.”

“You absolutely stole that from some rom-com somewhere.” 

Josie’s voice is thick and gravelly and Penelope has never been good at resisting temptation. Her end goal is too important though so she resigns herself with a quick peck before pushing herself up and away from Josie.

“I absolutely did. Let’s go.”

-

“We’re going to be recognised.” 

Josie’s anxiety that had subsided in her room by constant, light, teasing kisses, is back in full force the closer they get to the town. Penelope is battling her own anxieties but she at least has the driving to focus on instead of her fear that Josie might not enjoy their date.

“Do you really think so little of me?” Penelope spares her a glance from the driver’s seat, reaching from the gear stick to hold Josie’s hand and squeeze it reassuringly. “I’ve got it all planned. Here.” 

She passes over a bag she had tucked away in the backseat just for this occasion. From the corner of her eye, she watches Josie rifle through quickly before holding out the items and giving Penelope a disbelieving look.

“This? This is your plan? Some glasses and a hat?”

Penelope sighs deeply as she pulls the car to a stop in the town centre. It’s a little quaint for her tastes but she knows that Josie loves this place more than she ever will. And with the weight of their secrets settling heavy on their shoulders, she thought that it would be nice to just be two girls out on a date in the open for once.

If those words burning in her chest are any indication, she wants to be near Josie for a long time, so she may as well try to find the charm in this town that Josie can apparently see. And who better to show her than the future ruler of the entire country?

“It’s all about the attitude, Jojo. You put these on and act like a normal -  _ incredibly hot _ \- but, normal girl and then that’s they all think you are.”

Penelope grabs the hat and settles it onto Josie’s head, styling her hair around it while Josie obediently keeps still. Penelope can feel her eyes burning into her face and when she finally looks down Josie refuses to look away. There’s something in her eyes that Penelope doesn’t recognise but it makes her her breath hitch and heart race nonetheless. Josie doesn’t look away as Penelope gently slides the sunglasses over her face with a strained smile, giving herself a respite from the words in her chest that yearn to break free under Josie’s burning eyes.

“Voila! Disguise!”

The sunglasses do little to stop the weight of Josie’s eyes and Penelope finds herself already stepping in when Josie reaches out to pull her into a kiss that is borderline indecent for a public space. Penelope distantly considers the boost of confidence Josie must have had for her to go from panicking about being recognised to kissing Penelope like she had never heard of public indecency laws.

They finally break away and Penelope’s chest heaves with the effort it takes to restrain herself from lunging forward again. She forces herself to take a step back as if a foot of distance would suddenly stop her body from yearning for Josie. 

(It doesn’t.)

“‘Incredibly hot’ huh?” Josie smirks and quirks an eyebrow teasingly.

Penelope breathes out a laugh. “If I saw you in the street, I would definitely scale your palace to knock on your window and sneak you out on a date.”

Josie is stepping closer with a coy look and all Penelope can bring herself to do in return is give a warning glance, no move to stop Josie’s advance. “That sounds like a good date.”

Penelope’s feet move of their own accord and she finds herself closer to Josie. Her nerves spike and she breathes shakily as she runs her hand through her hair in a nervous move. She sees Josie’s darkened eyes follow the motion as her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “I hope so. I’m pretty nervous about it, I really want it to go well.”

The hunger in Josie’s eyes subsides at her words and Penelope is simultaneously grateful and kicking herself. Josie gently takes her hand and swings their joined hands between them as she ducks her head shyly and glances at Penelope from beneath her lashes. 

“I mean, no one’s ever scaled the outside of my house to knock on my window before… So you’re leading in terms of ridiculous gestures at least.”

“Oh, babe, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“I’m almost scared to see how you’ll top climbing to my window.”

Penelope begins to guide them down the path, using their joined hands as a tether as she walks backwards to keep Josie in her sight. “A walk through town featuring some dazzling charm and conversation with myself, of course.”

“Of course.”

“But then, when the sun starts to set,” She snatches a postcard from a nearby souvenir stand. The photo of the town silhouetted by a deep setting sun clearly taken on one of the scenic mountain lookouts, “Boom.”

Josie gasps dramatically, hand flying to clutch at her neck in mockery of shock, “No!”

Penelope schools her wild grin into a serious mask, nodding along with Josie’s antics. “We’re going full sunset views.”

“Catch me, I’m swooning.”

“I have that effect on people.”

-

Penelope knows that she’s grinning like a fool and her every step is more of a bounce than ever before but she can’t help it. It’s been too long since she’s last actually had a genuinely good time with Josie. No arguments, no barbs thrown with malicious intent, just the two of them enjoying their company. 

Josie had taken her arm and kept it the entire time that she led them around the castle, taking the scenic route back to her apartments. She was the first to congratulate Penelope on all of her work paying off and the pride in her voice when she did so will keep Penelope smiling for a decade.

She only makes it through the foyer before the smile drops from her face as her father appears from the office. Judging from the glass dangling loosely from his fingers, he’s had a less than stellar day in the council room.

He sees her and laughs darkly with a hard glint in his eyes. Penelope’s shoulders straighten and her posture stiffens as she slips into the mask once more. 

“Why is it that you happen to be spending so much time in the royal grounds and yet, you have nothing to report about Josie Saltzman and her desperate attempts to marry?”

“I don’t know if ‘desperate’ is the right word…” Penelope trails off as she makes a show of stroking her chin in mock thought, “Tragic, maybe?”

“Do you think that this is some sort of game?” His lip curls as he snarls out the words and Penelope’s mind is racing, trying to think of every way this could go and trying to develop plans for them at the same time. 

“Of course not, Father. But I have just closed the biggest agreement that this country has seen in at least a century, and yet your only question is about Her Royal Highness.”

“Because that can be our only focus right now Penelope!” He throws his glass into the fireplace and Penelope refuses to flinch, to even blink as the fire roars and spits hotter and higher. “That throne is going to give us more than any agreement can!”

Her mother appears as if summoned by the noise. Penelope watches impassively as she clutches her father’s arm and whispers something that has him shaking his head. His dark, furious eyes land on Penelope once more but he leaves nonetheless.

“As impressive as your latest achievements are, Penelope,” Her mother slinks forward. She had stayed in the background during Edwin’s fervor but Penelope never forgot about her presence. Out of her parents, Edwin may be the one that most would be wary of but Penelope knows full well that Marion is really the one to be cautious of. “You are…  _ uniquely _ positioned to take advantage of this opportunity for our family.”

“Of course, Mother.” Penelope swallows thickly under the intense stare of her mother, “Anything for our family.”

Penelope forces down the lump in her throat and blinks back the tears in her eyes. There can be no room for her unreliable emotions anymore. Her mother is right, anything for her family. 

No matter how wrong it feels to put someone else ahead of Josie. 

Anything for her family.

-


	8. either we never get it right or it's meant to be (maybe happy ever after's just ain't for us)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Papercuts by Illy feat. Vera Blue

Palpably buzzing with excitement, Hope throws open her door waving off the immediate greetings from the twins, words crashing into each other in an excited rush, “I have an idea.”

“Please tell me it’s better than your last one.” 

Hope points at Josie indignantly, “Firstly, a drunken shotgun wedding would fix all of your problems and have the added bonus of alcohol -”

“Because we don’t have enough of that.” Lizzie interrupts dryly, not even glancing up from her book.

“As I was saying,” Josie grins as Hope stubbornly carries on despite their gentle heckling and sarcasm, “My idea is actually a guy for you.”

Josie groans and buries her head into her arms. Undeterred by the lackluster reaction, Hope channels her energy as she paces the room. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of him before. He’d be great for this! He’s sweet, kind, single and cute-”

“What!” That certainly got a reaction, Lizzie shooting up from her book with a hard stare.

“He’s a passably okay looking man.” Josie laughs as Hope quickly amends her assessment to soothe her jealousy prone fiance, “But I think you guys might really hit it off. Plus, he’s connected enough to be loosely eligible but distant enough to have no claim to any throne or power in his court.”

Everything she says is, on paper, the makings of a brilliant suitor but Josie just can’t find it within herself to muster up any enthusiasm for it. A part of her is hoping that if she simply never commits to a spouse then the entire thing will just… blow over. 

“He sounds great, Hope.”

“His name is Landon Kirby. I’ll call him now and see how soon he can get here.”

Hope is either unaware or unbothered by Josie’s flat disinterest and Josie can’t help but feel guilty. Hope is clearly invested, having made a strong effort just to help Josie when she didn’t have to and now Josie can’t bring herself to share in Hope’s excitement at having a breakthrough.

“This is gonna be it, Jo! I can feel it!”

“We can set something up with him this week. We’re getting too close to our birthday now.” Lizzie puts her book down and sits up, interested now that she can take control and plan something. Josie can already see the plans spawning behind her eyes. “If you want a proper engagement, we’ll have to move fast.”

Josie snorts incredulously, raising her eyebrows pointedly, “You think everything that’s happened so far has been us taking it slow?”

Lizzie’s spine straightens imperiously, “ _ I _ think that if you had let me quarterback this entire thing like  _ I  _ had suggested at the start, this would all be over by now."

“I’m not wearing a camera and earpiece just so you can play spymaster.”

“Your lack of commitment is upsetting.”

Josie’s lip curls up into a frustrated snarl, “I’m terribly sorry that I’m not taking this opportunity to let you live out your Jane Bond fantasy.”

“No, you’re just using this as an opportunity to get back into Penelope Park’s good graces,” Lizzie spits venomously. 

Her mouth twists cruelly and Josie feels her hands curl in anticipation, “Or were you aiming to get into something else of hers?”

Josie is up and out of her seat before she even registers making the decision to move.

“Oookay!” Hope leaps between the twins, forcing them apart with a strong hand on either sternum. Josie’s chest heaves as she tries desperately to control her urge to pummel her sister, it’s not a new sensation for her but it’s never been quite so strong before. From the anger burning at her from Lizzie’s eyes, she knows that Lizzie feels the same.

“Let’s just all take a deep breath, yeah?” 

It sounds like a question but Hope’s stern voice and severe face make it quite clear that she isn’t so much suggesting as demanding. 

Josie and Lizzie stay locked in their stare down until Hope puts a little more force in to shove the two of them apart. Lizzie relents first, rolling her eyes but backing off nonetheless.

She cuts a mocking look at a seething Josie. “It’s not like I’m wrong. Right,  _ Jojo _ ?”

“Lizzie.”

“Shut up, Lizzie.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes, ignoring both Hope’s warning and Josie’s furious growl with a dismissive wave of the hand. 

All of Josie’s pent-up rage and aggression explodes behind her eyes, snarling wordlessly and lurching forward only to be held in place by Hope’s restraining hand. Her chest heaves, eyes boring into Hope, challenging her to move.

She feels Hope’s hand fall away but only so she can move fully in front of Josie. Josie smiles thinly as Hope’s move blocks Lizzie from view. It’s a smart move because now, rather than fixed on an openly antagonistic Lizzie, her attention has been stolen by Hope’s calm countenance. 

Josie clenches and unclenches her jaw rhythmically, she doesn’t want to be calm. She wants to fly off the handle, wants to have the tantrum she’s been pushing down for what feels like  _ years _ since this entire fiasco began.

Hope’s serious eyes bore into hers, the other girl refusing to let Josie look away. “Is getting into a fight with Lizzie really going to fix anything?”

“It’ll make me feel better.” She grinds out from between grit teeth.

Hope nods agreeably. “In the short term, probably, yeah.  _ But _ ,” She stresses the word over the loud noise of offense that came from Lizzie, “You and I both know that it’ll be worse in the long term.”

Josie bites hard on her own lip. She doesn’t want to listen to Hope. Wants even less to actually acknowledge that she has a point. She flicks her eyes back over to Lizzie, part of her hoping that she would catch her sister doing something antagonising so she can justify a tantrum. Annoyingly, Lizzie isn’t doing anything that Josie can fault her for. 

Josie hisses and rakes a hand through her hair. Aggravating as it is, she knows that Hope’s right. Lizzie’s even a little right too despite her being a real dick about it.

Something must show on her face because Hope steps back with a cautious nod.

“Jo, I think you should at least meet Landon. He really is a good option, if you’re still looking.”

She’s so tired of all of the insinuations thrown at her about Penelope goddamn Park and the feelings Josie may or may not have for her. “Why wouldn’t I be looking?”

Hope holds her hands up, trying her best to ease the remaining tension emanating from Josie. “I’m not trying to start anything-”

“I am.” Lizzie injects with a snort.

“-  _ We’re _ not trying to start anything.” Hope stresses pointedly with a chastising look that has Lizzie sulkily murmuring an apology.

If they weren’t using their gifts to drag Josie’s poorly kept secret desires into the light, she’d be charmed by how well they compliment each other. As it is though, they’re good cop, bad copping her and it’s infuriatingly effective. Lizzie works her into a rage by bluntly stating delicate truths and then Hope jumps in with logic to constructively address the problem.

It’s the same tactic they’ve been using on her for years and she still falls for it every damn time. Ironically, it’s also how they got her to admit about the thing with Penelope after they found her distraught and secretive when it ended. Though she didn’t go into a rage so much as fall to pieces… that could be why Lizzie dislikes Penelope so much actually. It’s not like she’s forgiven Penelope the way Josie has.

Wait.

When did she forgive Penelope?  _ Has _ she forgiven Penelope?

Josie sits heavily on the end of her bed, thoughts racing as she tries to detangle the mess that are her feelings towards Penelope. Sure, there’s the traces of old anger and bitterness, to be expected with how they had ended things. Undoubtedly, there’s the attraction and lust which is self-explanatory. She’s happy that Penelope is back, that she can now see her almost whenever she likes.

Well, damn. She has forgiven Penelope. When the hell did that happen? Was it the maze? The postcard? She has no idea when it happened, just that it did.

The bed dips under new weight next to her and Josie curses when she realises she’s spent the last few minutes side-tracked by thoughts revolving around Penelope. She’s still reeling from the revelation that somewhere along the line, she’s forgiven Penelope for breaking her heart and leaving. Not only that, but the discovery of a confusing bundle of new but familiar feelings that she is too scared to give a name.

Hope gently covers Josie’s hand with her own. “It’s just that your last three dates have all had you coming back talking or thinking about Penelope.”

“I have not.” She denies loudly. For the sake of her pride, she pretends not to see the disbelieving look Hope and Lizzie exchange over her head.

“You have. Even after every conversation we have that ends with you agreeing that she’s the  _ worst _ .” Lizzie isn’t even trying to outright antagonise anymore. Sure, there’s still an edge to her words but she isn’t pushing any harder than a casual observation, “We know what you’re thinking about because you get a gross, sappy face when you’re thinking about Satan’s ambassador.”

Josie feels herself make a ridiculously offended face but can’t stop it. “You have a gross, sappy face.”

A satisfied, vindictive smirk settles onto Josie’s face at Lizzie’s offended gasp. She may have calmed down, but she didn’t forget. “There is nothing gross about my face! You take that back!”

Josie sticks her tongue out in response. Lizzie’s jaw drops and she thrusts her hand out to give Josie the finger, a move Josie is all too happy to return.

“Can the both of you pretend that you’re mature adults who are both direct heirs to thrones for just five minutes?” Hope chastises them tiredly, tone remarkably similar to that of a long suffering school teacher.

“Sorry, Hope.”

After two very pointed looks her way, Lizzie throws her hands in the air. “Fine. Sorry or whatever.”

They fall silent before Josie breaks it with a heavy sigh barely muffled by the hand she scrubs over her face.

“Call Landon.” 

She’s tired. So tired. These feelings change everything but nothing at the same time and she just... can’t see a way for her to win in the end.

“Are you sure, Jo?” Hope says it so softly, as if Josie were so fragile that another question would break her. Maybe she is.

Josie knows that she could say no. 

She could explain everything going through her mind to Hope and Lizzie and they would listen. Reluctantly, maybe, but they would listen and they would try and help. But that wouldn’t fix the looming problem; the marriage clause dangling over her head like the sword of Damocles.

She can’t let herself be swept away in her feelings for Penelope. Not now. She doesn’t have the luxury of time to work things out. She has a duty to her country, her family and her people. And her duty to them has to come before her duty to herself.

“If you’re both right, then I need to focus on every option available. Call him.”

Hope doesn’t look overly convinced but she forces a tentative smile regardless. “He’s great, Jo. You’ll understand the first time you meet him.”

Josie nods but she doubts the words. She’s already had a first meeting revelation and it certainly wasn’t from  _ Landon Kirby. _

-

The first time she sees her, Josie is doing what she does every day, silently shadowing Lizzie as her sister flaunts through the halls and grounds.

They’re crossing one of the front lawns when their mother’s voice rings out across the grounds.

“Josie! Lizzie!”

Josie spins quickly and immediately feels her mouth go dry. Her mother isn’t alone. Caroline waits for the two of them to jog over before she gestures to the girl Josie is currently fixated on. “I want to introduce the both of you to Penelope Park.”

Josie mouths the name silently as she runs it over in her head, savouring just the  _ idea _ of saying her name. 

She blushes deeply when her eyes flick up only to lock onto a twinkling green. Penelope is looking at her. Penelope is looking at her and definitely just caught Josie mouthing her name like a fool.

Lizzie breaks their stare, stepping forward with a confident toss of her hair over her shoulder. “I’m Lizzie Saltzman.”

Josie finally feels like she can take a breath when Penelope’s eyes cut away from hers at Lizzie’s interruption. Even still, she can’t take her eyes off of her. 

“Penelope Park.” 

Should Josie be concerned at how worked up she’s getting over how a name sounds? Because someone just saying their own name shouldn’t set her heart racing and have her breath hitch. 

Something to consider when she’s not in front of Penelope and may or may not be drooling.

Lizzie gives Penelope a once over and curls her lip, unimpressed. “Pleasure is all yours, I’m sure.”

Josie cringes at Lizzie’s tone and risks a glance at Caroline to see their mother's reaction. Lizzie must catch on to Caroline’s hard stare because she sneers at Penelope and turns her back to the pair quickly with a parting scoff.

“Josie, come on.” She instructs expectantly.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I, um,” Penelope’s eyes slide back across to her and Josie forgets half the words she knows. More than half when Penelope raises an eyebrow with a crooked little half smile that is going to live in her dreams for _weeks_. 

Eyes locked on Penelope, without any real thought put into it except that she wants to spend longer with this girl, Josie blurts the first idea that comes into her head. “I- I think I’ll show Penelope around a little first.” 

She was right. She does love the way that the name rolls off her tongue.

“Seriously?”

Caroline rolls right past Lizzie’s incredulous exclamation with a sunny smile. “Jo, that’s a wonderful idea. Lizzie, since you don’t want to show our guest around,” Josie will never understand how Lizzie doesn’t flinch at the reprimanding tone because she feels grounded already and she didn’t even do anything. “ _ You _ can come and help me.”

Josie sucks her lip into her mouth to keep her grin at bay as Caroline leads Lizzie away in what has to be the most polite frog march ever executed. She can hear the urgent whispers coming from her mother as they leave, no doubt a reprimand that Lizzie will ultimately ignore. 

“Sorry, I should have asked you before I just said tour. I mean, it’s totally fine if you don’t want one, I get that it’s kind of boring for --”

“Josie.” 

She stutters to a stop when Penelope interrupts her. And the other girl is suddenly so much  _ closer _ than she was before. A slow grin unfurls across Penelope’s face and Josie’s staring again. “I’d love a tour.”

“Really?” She can feel the stupid grin stretching across her face but is too excited to contain it. “Awesome! Um- Let’s go then.”

“Lead the way.”

“Stay close.” Penelope cocks an eyebrow with a teasing smirk dancing on her lips and Josie can’t help the way her eyes flick down and lock on the other girls lips. 

A sudden burst of confidence has her looking back up with a smirk of her own. If the way that Penelope bites her lip is any indication, it’s effective. She harnesses the confidence boost the reaction gives her to drop her voice lower and try a come hither look that she’s seen Lizzie execute before. “I don’t want you to get lost.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave your side.” Penelope promises seriously before her face cracks into a teasing grin, “Want to hold my hand to make sure?”

Josie bites back a grin, the thumping of her heart loud in her ears at the easy banter between them. “Let’s see how the tour goes first.”

Penelope pushes her bottom lip out in a mock pout, short-circuiting Josie’s entire thought process. “Don’t tell me it wasn’t love at first sight, Josie?”

Josie looks away from Penelope, laughing but internally she’s panicking. She  _ knew  _ that she was being too obvious with her leering but something about Penelope just pulled her in. 

She licks her lips, deciding to lean into the flirtatious energy between them. “I prefer to be called Your Highness.”

The grin on Penelope’s face gains a wicked edge. “I’ll call you whatever you want, Jojo.”

The leading words strike Josie breathless but it’s the nickname that she gets stuck on, “Jojo?”

Penelope clears her throat, “Sorry, Josie.”

“No, don’t.” Josie ducks her head to hide the smile she’s fighting. She’s given up on trying to fight the embarrassed tint to her cheeks. It seems like it will just be a permanent side effect from being around Penelope. She’ll take it, honestly. “I like Jojo. No one’s ever called me that.”

“It can be something that’s just ours, then.”

Penelope steps in closer, taking Josie’s hand between both of hers and looking up at Josie from under her lashes.

“I think I’d like that.” Josie murmurs breathlessly, squeezing the hands holding hers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” They smile at each other for a minute before Josie shakes herself out of the stupor Penelope’s presence apparently puts her in. “Um, anyway. The tour?”

Penelope smirks with a knowing glint in her eye. She releases Josie’s hand to sketch a grand bow, holding a hand for Josie to take and lead the way. “After you, Your Highness.”

Josie just  _ knows _ that Penelope Park is going to be trouble. 

She takes her hand anyway.

-

“Hi, Josie?” 

Josie’s ears perk up at the hesitant voice. She turns to find a guy who could only be Landon. He was kind of scruffy looking and seemed painfully awkward and shy judging from his impulse fidgeting but he had kind eyes. 

He settles a little when Josie gives him a small smile and he clearly remembers last minute instructions because he clears his throat, posture straightening in an attempt to project confidence. He looks wildly uncomfortable in the role but there’s a determined set to his eyes that say he’ll push through it to the end.

She can see what drew Hope to him.

“Landon, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” His mouth twists into an awkward line as he ducks his head and scuffs at the ground. Josie feels pangs of sympathy, she was so similar to Landon years ago. It’s jarring to see it reflected back at her now. 

“Hope called and uh, I guess she kind of explained.” His voice tilts up and fades away at the end, as if he’s always uncertain and asking someone to confirm it for him.

Josie’s brow furrows as she watches Landon shift his weight uncomfortably. Doubt creeps into the corners of her mind. Surely, as awkward as Landon is, he couldn’t possibly have the entire plan. She arches an eyebrow at him hesitantly, “Hope explained the plan to you?”

“Hah, not really.” His shoulders slump back down and he almost curls into himself at the question. He rubs at the back of his neck before forcing his hands into his pockets with a strangled chuckle. “She, uh, she said something about your council being stupid and then that you needed dates?”

Josie’s mouth twists as she considers Landon’s understanding of the situation that she had found herself in. She’s still not overly sure how much Landon can really help her but Hope is confident and so Josie gives her, and thereby Landon, the benefit of the doubt. 

He seems to have gotten most of the big points down at least. Josie shrugs. “She’s not wrong…”

Landon stammers at her lack of enthusiasm, hands flicking from the rubbing the back of his neck, to playing with his sleeves, to adjusting his collar again before he just shoves them into his pockets, obviously deciding that’s more appropriate. 

He clears his throat gruffly and nods loosely. “Well, I’m happy to help. Whatever you need.”

Josie’s eyebrows shoot up and she looks away to smother a harsh bark of laughter. Whatever she needs? He makes it sound like she just needs help moving furniture and not making a significant life decision and an incredibly public commitment to, essentially, a perfect stranger. “I need to be married before my 22nd birthday.”

“Oh. Well, I mean,” Landon stammers for a moment, obviously not expecting that when he arrived. Josie smiles thinly as his hand emerges from his pocket to gesture uselessly as he searches for words before playing with his collar again. “How close can that be?”

“I’ve got a little over two months.” Josie says flatly.

Landon’s eyes blow wide and he chokes, “That’s, uh- that’s close.” Josie laughs at the panic in his voice, and if her laugh is tinged with an edge of hysteria, then Landon doesn’t mention it. To his credit, Landon isn’t put off by her laughter, squaring his shoulders and speaking confidently for what seems like the first time in their entire conversation. “I’m still happy to help.”

Josie’s mouth drops. Surely he doesn’t actually mean that, right? “You realise that your ‘help’ will be  _ marrying _ me? In less than three months?”

An embarrassed tint rises in Landon’s cheeks and he chuckles uncomfortably with a careless shrug. He ducks his head briefly before glancing up at Josie with a self-deprecating grin. “You’d be out of my league any other way so I guess some things just work out.”

-

Lizzie bulldozes her way through the halls dragging a reluctant Josie behind her. She bursts into the breakfast parlour their parents occupy with the dramatic flair that has become her signature.

“Mum, Dad, Great news!” 

“Girls! I’m so happy to see you!” Caroline lights up and immediately beckons them closer.

“What’s going on? Why are you both here?” Alaric looks to them with a reproving frown. Josie doesn’t miss the way his eyes dart to her left hand specifically and the action has her hands balling tightly.

Lizzie smiles plastically at him and reaches back to shove Josie forward. “Josie, shockingly, has good news.”

Caroline graciously ignores the dirty look and crude hand gesture Josie gives Lizzie for throwing her to the wolves. She whirls and advances on Josie with startling speed, grabbing her into a tight hug Josie barely has time to return before pushing back to look at her.

“You found someone?!”

“What are you all talking about?” Alaric frowns, finally checking into the conversation and completely lost.

Josie steps out of her mother’s reach, posture going rigid and proper as she addresses her father. “I’ve decided on Landon Kirby. We’ll be presenting him to the council and announcing the engagement within the week.”

Alaric’s brow smooths out as he perks up at the news, clapping his hands together excitedly as he stands. “Excellent! The council has been hounding me about this for months. I’m glad you’ve finally acted.”

“Right.” Josie smiles thinly with a shake of her head. She honestly doesn’t know why she would have expected a different reaction from her father. She  _ knows _ how much stress he’s been under recently, particularly with this whole engagement fiasco. 

Logically, she knows that he cannot be able to be as up to date on their lives as they would like. But there’s still a voice in the back of her head that hisses how Caroline can stay more involved than him even when she’s thousands of kilometres away.

“Ignore your father.” Caroline says sharply with a withering look that has Alaric deflating. “What he means is that we’re both thrilled that you found someone who can make you happy.”

“Of course, I’m sorry. Josie, I’m glad you found someone you love.”

_ Love. _ Josie stares at him incredulously for a moment. Surely he can’t seriously think that she’s marrying out of love? A quick glance to the side reveals Lizzie’s equally confused frown with a hardening glint in her eye that usually means Josie has to intervene before there’s sharp looks and sharper words. 

Josie rapidly nods her head at her father’s suggestion. “Uh huh. Yep, that’s what I did.”

Alaric shoves his hands in his pockets, clearing his throat gruffly. Josie almost laughs at how uncomfortable he looks at the notion of discussing either of his daughters’ lives. “So, when do we meet this Landon?”

Lizzie’s smile is sharp and unforgiving and Josie knows that she struggles in particular with their father’s distance. Caroline must notice the edge to her smile as well because she reaches down to squeeze her hand quickly, releasing some of the tension in Lizzie’s shoulders.

Lizzie cuts a glance to Josie, the muscle of her jaw jumping. “Why doesn’t Josie take him as her date to that state dinner this week?”

“That’s a great idea, Lizzie!” Caroline claps, so excited that Josie feels guilty that the relationship she’s rejoicing isn’t real. “Jo, you can take him around and introduce him to everyone and then we can announce the engagement all in one evening!”

Josie smiles weakly and tries to mirror her mother and sister’s enthusiasm. “Yay!”

-


	9. all the memories, they're haunted (we were always meant to say goodbye)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson
> 
> Sorry this took so long, I'll try and finish the next chapter faster

Penelope’s face was starting to ache from the polite and deeply fake smile she had kept on her face. She hadn’t wanted to come to the State dinner but while the Park’s had been invited as a family, Penelope had also received an individual invitation as the Ministers were planning to unveil her newly inked agreement.

So that leaves Penelope here, clutching desperately to a glass of champagne and trying to keep any of her emotions from her face. Being anything less than in total control of herself here was like jumping into shark infested waters while gushing blood.

Josie had brought a date.

Josie had brought a date and it wasn’t Penelope. No, it was some random guy - Lionel? Lachlan? Leeroy? - who, if rumours were to be believed, dated Hope some years ago and was called in to be the perfect candidate/suitor. 

So there’s that.

It’s for the best. It’s not like Penelope would be able to stand next to Josie anyway. Maybe her bringing Leonard will get Edwin and Marion off the idea that Penelope can lure Josie astray. It’ll be a relief honestly; no longer having to tear herself between the familial loyalty that has been ingrained into her from birth, and how badly she longs to make this all easy for Josie.

It would just be a lot easier for  _ her _ if stupid Lincoln - she really should learn his name - wasn’t smiling quite so widely at Josie while she introduced him.

Penelope is just grateful for an excuse to stop stewing in her own jealousy. She almost lost track of three different conversations with councilmen because she heard Josie laugh at something her  _ date _ said. It was getting embarrassing. In her head she knows that this is for the best but now she just has to convince the rest of herself of that fact.

She hasn’t had any luck with it so far but she figures that a good place to start is the open bar. Plus along with the benefit of alcohol, if she’s facing the bar, she can’t possibly track where Josie and Lummox are at any given time. It’s a win-win really.

It’s when she’s walking away from the bar, when she thinks she’s finally safe, that disaster strikes.

“You know,” 

Penelope startles at the voice sounding from just behind her shoulder. She spins, glare at the ready, only to falter immediately when faced with the sharp eyes of Caroline Forbes. High ranking Ambassador with a renowned political mind as well as the small fact of being  _ Josie’s mother _ .

Penelope is going to be lucky to make it out of this stupid dinner without starting an incident honestly. 

Caroline’s lips twitch into a knowing smirk before she schools her face into a friendly smile that is somehow more intimidating,  ”When my daughter was 16, she locked herself in her room for a week. Wouldn’t see anyone, wouldn’t talk about it. Just stayed in her room listening to either angry songs or sad songs.” 

Her smile softens, eyes glazed with the memories of a time passed where the royal family were all together. As if a switch is flicked, she snaps herself back to the present and the smile is hiding knives yet again. “All at a deafening volume, of course.”

The blood drains from her face and her body stiffens as a paralyzing fear runs through her. There should be no way that Caroline knows about her and Josie but literally everything about the last 30 seconds is indicating that she absolutely does. Still, Penelope would not have gotten this far if she didn’t have an effective poker face.

Keeping the eye contact Penelope forces her body to relax, covering her panic with a politely confused smile. “My apologies Ambassador, but what exactly does that have to do with me?”

“I have an inkling that you already know the answer to that.” Penelope imagines her reaction is amusing given Caroline laughs lightly before baring her teeth in a parting grin. “Have a pleasant evening, Lady Park.”

She knows. She  _ absolutely  _ knows and not only that, she has terrifyingly polite threats too! Penelope’s evening really could not get any better.

“Dude!”

She scrunches her face at the hushed hiss and turns to find MG trying to subtly beckon her closer. Key word:  _ trying _ .

Penelope chuckles as she saunters closer with a false bravado, hoping that it covers the lingering effect of her talk with Caroline. “Did you just call me dude? You’re literally a palace guard.”

“And you just totally got shovel talked by Ambassador Forbes!” 

Penelope snorts at MG’s attempts to subtly whisper. He's thrumming with so much excited energy, she's surprised he isn’t bouncing in place. His toothy grin is far too wide for anything but him overhearing the talk she just had.

She makes her way towards the tray of champagne glasses going around, knowing MG well enough to know he’ll follow. If she is expected to deal with all of this, then she is going to need a drink. Absolutely not because of Caroline Forbes picking her out of a crowd and talking to her about both Josie and feelings. Together. In a way that definitely indicated that she knows things Penelope would prefer she didn’t.

Definitely doesn’t need another drink because of that entire interaction.

“Did not.”

“Oh really? So, your hands just shake like this normally?” 

Damn, he must have noticed the shake when she reached for the glass.

“I had a lot of coffee.”

MG’s skepticism is palpable. “And the way your face went pale?”

Penelope works her tongue over her teeth in annoyance, “I have internal bleeding.”

MG nods sagely. If Penelope were at her normal best, she would have recognised the glint of laughing mischief in his eyes. “From where Josie stole your heart.”

“What? No! Shut up!” She turns away to hide the flush rising on her cheeks, draining the entire glass of champagne before quickly grabbing another and finishing that too. 

The server’s face is a schooled look of polite indifference but Penelope knows just how easily gossip travels through catering staff, and then how quickly that gossip then waters through to everyone else. She flashes a smile and moves on from them quickly, MG grinning at her heels.

“How disappointed would all these people be to learn that the great and heartless Penelope Park is only heartless because she gave it away at 16?”

“They won’t be disappointed.” She growls through grit teeth, turning a threatening glare onto the man who looks wholly unrepentant, “Because there is nothing for them to learn MG.”

“Sure thing.”

“I’m serious.”

“Whatever you say.” MG laughs, clearly disbelieving. He must have laughed too loudly because the two of them got some questioning looks from the nobles surrounding them. Penelope notices the looks and drags MG further away from the crowd with a tight congenial smile.

Abruptly pulling him well out of sight of the remaining guests, Penelope rounds on MG with a snarl. “Shouldn’t you be guarding something instead of giving me advice that I never asked for?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” MG nods seriously, settling into the same resting position as the other palace guards dotted around the room. Penelope knows better though, the mischievous glint in his eye hasn’t faded. He’s not done, there’s more.

True to form, MG continues. “If you were looking for advice from a friend though, I’d tell you to talk to her about it. She looks like she may have had some internal bleeding to match yours.”

Penelope follows his nod to see Josie standing in line with her family, her  _ date _ by her side. Even from across the room, she can see the ever so slight slump to Josie’s shoulders, belying just how tired she really is. Even tired though, she’s still one of the most beautiful things Penelope has ever seen.

Josie’s head turns and Penelope is too struck to look away. Their eyes lock and her breath hitches in her chest. Josie’s lips part in a gasp that Penelope doesn’t hear but she knows the feeling, it’s how she felt when she first saw Josie tonight. 

Penelope can’t tear her eyes away, even though she knows she should. For a second, it looks like Josie’s lips tremble but then her sister is pulling her back into their conversation and Josie turns away from Penelope. Penelope still doesn’t look away, a stupidly hopeful part of her waiting for Josie to look back. 

She doesn’t. 

Penelope lets out a sigh, disappointed that she seems to never be able to help herself when it comes to Josie. Keeping her eyes on Josie, she answers MG with a sad truth. “It’s not that easy.”

“When have you  _ ever  _ taken the easy way out?” MG snorts.

Penelope snorts derisively. How in the hell did he think any of this was  _ easy _ ? Relentless, MG carries on despite her mockery. “Jo told me that you once  _ climbed the outside of the castle _ just to ask her on a date. Couldn’t think of an easier way?” 

Penelope sucks her teeth in annoyance. Considering it was supposed to be a secret relationship, Josie sure seems to be letting a lot of people know about a lot of things. First Caroline - which was terrifying - and now MG? If she and Josie ever do get the opportunity to talk alone again, she’s going over the definition of the word secret.

Oblivious to her thoughts, MG is still trying to convince her, still hyping her up as if she of all people needs the boost. “You worked yourself to the bone to become one of the best in international politics before you’re even 22, how ‘easy’ was that?”

Penelope rolls her eyes. “I get it.”

“I can keep going.” MG smirks and Penelope scowls, a little annoyed by how easily it fits on his face. He’s clearly spending too much time with her. She tells him as much and he just laughs heartily.

“My point is,” MG breaks from his position, throwing an arm around her shoulders and directing them both to be facing where the royal family is - where  _ Josie _ is. “When has anything worth having come easily?”

It’s embarrassing how her heart kicks off just looking at Josie. With MG’s reassuring presence right next to her, somehow the risks didn’t seem as dangerous and stakes not as dire. It is probably just her own want using MG’s reasoning as validation, but for once, she  _ wants _ to allow herself this one thing. Wants to let herself be brave.

In a rare public display of nerves, her bottom lip finds itself between her teeth as she considers Josie. “You think I should talk to her.”

“I think you should talk to her.”

Penelope takes a bracing breath, letting it out a huff of a sigh. “I’ll go find her then.”

She makes her way through the crowded hall, every step a struggle of wills as she debates within herself whether or not she should even try and talk to Josie. It’s a toss up for reasons why talking to her would be a bad idea. 

First, there’s the fact that this is an incredibly public place not ideal for having this conversation. Second, Josie clearly doesn’t want to see or talk to her seeing as how she has a date who hasn’t left her side all evening. Thirdly, there’s the implicit promise she made to her parents, a promise that would be much harder to keep if she lets Josie in any further.

There’s only one reason Penelope can think of that makes talking to Josie a good idea, but it’s strong enough to hold its own. The reason is simple; because it’s Josie. And Josie is always worth it.

MG’s laughter follows her as she slips into the milling crowd. Penelope grits her teeth and pushes through the prideful urge to spite him and prove him wrong. There are more important things than her pride right now. Namely, finding Josie amongst a packed crowd. 

Even when she - at last - makes it to the last spot she saw Josie, there’s no sign of her or the rest of the royal family. It doesn’t make any sense, Penelope can  _ always _ find Josie at these events. It’s even how she announced she was back in the country for crying out loud! 

She clenches her jaw tight with building panic and anxiety. Finding Josie has always been something she’s known to be true for her. If she’s wrong about that, is that now a sign? Surely not being able to find Josie to tell her everything that she’s come to realise is maybe a sign that she shouldn’t tell her at all?

Penelope does a frustrated spin but still finds herself alone in the crowd. Considering it’s a damned state dinner, it should be much easier to find at least one member of the esteemed and honoured bloody royal family. 

Growling lowly under her breath she forces a smile as a Duke and Duchess greet her in passing. It’s a timely reminder that this isn’t an environment where she can show her true emotions. This is a room full of sharks and showing an abundance of emotion is the same as spilling blood; it’s not recommended and dangerous to your health.

With that in mind, Penelope decides to make her way to the fringes again, maybe she’ll be able to spot Josie better from a distance. Before she can take two steps, a light ringing catches her attention and she turns with everyone else to the raised dias set up.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. I have an exciting announcement.” 

She couldn’t explain it but there was a slimy, squirmy feeling in her stomach that Penelope just couldn’t shake. 

His Royal Douchieness having an ‘exciting announcement’ only makes the feeling grow and stretch to tighten around her lungs. Unbidden, her eyes dart to where she knows Josie is, finding Josie in a crowded room has always been a talent of hers. 

Josie isn’t alone. Standing next to her are her mother, her sister and her future sister in law. All to be expected to stand and show unity when there’s an announcement from the royal family. 

No, what throws Penelope is that Locky is up there with them. 

She has been called many things over the years, some true, some not, but no one has ever accused Penelope of being slow. 

In that moment, that brief pause while Alaric lets the anticipation build because he’s a dramatic asshole, Penelope realises what’s about to happen.

That squirmy feeling tightens its stranglehold on her lungs and her breath escapes her in a quiet gasp. 

“No.”

Even across the massive room, Josie seems to have heard Penelope’s pained whisper. 

Her eyes sweep the room until they land on Penelope. There’s a sympathetic sorrow in them that only confirms Penelope’s growing horror. There’s excited murmuring and whispering all around her but it sounds distant and muffled to Penelope. She just keeps her eyes on Josie, certain that this will be it. 

This will be the last time she’ll see her and know that it’s  _ her  _ Josie. 

Of course it’s her stupid date that breaks their stare. He turns to Josie and pulls her hand into his with a casual smile like they do this all the time. Josie smiles back but it’s strained at the edges. Penelope can see that from across the room but her date can’t see it from right next to her.

“I would like to announce that my daughter, Princess Josie Saltzman, has chosen a husband!” 

Alaric’s talking again. She barely manages to catch his words and when she does, she wishes she hadn’t. Everything crawls to a stop and each breath Penelope takes is deafening to her own ears, her heart thumps steadily on even though it feels like it’s stopped.

Alaric waves an arm at Josie and her date. Penelope wants to either throw up or throw hands. “Please join me in welcoming Landon Kirby to our family!”

Oh.

He’s not her date. He’s her fiancé.

_ Landon _ . What a stupid name. She’s not learning it.

Well.

It’s a good thing that Penelope is wearing black because she’s pretty sure a part of her just died.

She needs to smile. 

She needs to smile and be happy and excited for the bright future of their country. Just like everyone else. But she’s not like everyone else. She’s not happy and excited for their prosperous future and she can barely bring herself to clap along, smiling is entirely out of the question.

The cheering and clapping doesn’t touch her. She knows that if anyone looked her way right now, she would be giving herself away but she just can’t. Her claps are out of time and far too slow for the buzzing excitement and chatter from the roomful of politicians and nobility. She can’t tear her eyes from the smile that is so clearly forced on Josie’s face.

Photographers come as if summoned and the  _ last _ thing Penelope wants is a goddamn memento of this night. Josie and Lennox pose with their arms around each other and man, does Penelope need a drink.

-

Penelope can only spend so much time at this dinner now. The new royal engagement is the biggest thing to happen in months and with its long-term ramifications, of course it’s all anyone wants to talk about.

Everyone except Penelope. She would very much love it if no one brought it up ever again.

It’s the fifth time she’s forced to hear about what a lovely couple Lenny and Josie make when she notices it. The door to the garden balcony has been left open a crack. Penelope does a sweep of the room and of course the first thing she finds is the burning eyes of her mother.

Penelope doesn’t know how it could be possible but there’s something in that look that tells her that her mother  _ knows _ . She somehow knows about Penelope’s traitorous heart, her decision to knowingly ignore what’s best for their family to try and untangle whatever is between her and Josie.

Penelope can feel her jaw clenching automatically and forces herself to relax. She gives her mother a lazy smirk, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and letting herself blend back into the crowd, slipping through the balcony door at the first opportunity. 

She closes the door gently behind her, shutting out the noise of the crowd. Her lips tug into a smile automatically at the sight before her.

“Thought I’d find you here.” 

Josie’s shoulders tighten before relaxing more than they have all night. Penelope tries not to think about the why too much.

Just because Josie is the most relaxed she’s been all night when it’s just the two of them doesn’t mean anything. Once this dinner is over Josie is still engaged and Penelope is still a Park. 

Penelope’s grip on her glass tightens as she moves to lean against the rail next to Josie. She leaves a respectable distance between them but Josie moves just enough for their pinkies to brush lightly. The look on her face indicates that it is more of an instinctual move than a conscious one. Conscious or not, it makes Penelope’s heart beat faster regardless.

Penelope’s mouth feels dry, she can barely bring herself to tear her eyes away from the slight overlap of their pinkies. It takes Josie clearing her throat roughly for Penelope to look away, the quick jerk of her head is a giveaway that Josie had been staring too.

A rueful smile tugs at Penelope’s lips and she breaks her eyes away from Josie, taking a steadying sip of her champagne. From the corner of her eye she sees Josie’s head turn, sneaking a look at Penelope.

A wave of emotional exhaustion crashes over Penelope suddenly. Why are they still doing this? Why are they still pretending that they aren’t both aware of everything that just hangs between them? Playing coy just just seems so useless to Penelope now. 

She swiftly turns, not giving Josie the chance to look away before she catches her eyes. Josie must see something of her thought pattern on her face because her shoulders slump and she looks skyward, letting out a despondent huff of a laugh.

"Funny how the end always brings you back to the beginning." Josie says, voice laden with bittersweet nostalgia. 

She looks down at the new space between their hands with a solemn longing. Penelope can’t help but look as well, smiling at the memories of a time when she reached her hand out and closed the distance, setting this trainwreck in motion for years later.

Any other time and Penelope would have let that sentence be the end of it. She would have given Josie a sad smile, made some charged and meaningful eye contact, and then she would have walked away. She would have walked away, secure in the knowledge that there will always be another chance, another time when they’ll collide. And maybe, just maybe, one of these times when they collide, it’ll all fit together. Any other time and that would be it.

But this isn’t any other time.

This time is  _ it. _ There won’t be another chance or another time. Penelope is out of plays, out of schemes, out of every logical and calculated move she has. All she has left is an atrophied version of what she imagines others would call hope. And, seeing as that all she’s got at the moment, she decides to roll with it.

"The beginning? This isn't our beginning." Penelope nods her head to the gardens below them. The very same gardens that they first met on. "Our beginning is out there."

Josie scoffs, a slow, disbelieving smile stretching across her face. "You liked me from the moment we met?"

Penelope cocks an eyebrow, laughing lightly to cover for her vulnerability. "Certainly wasn't your sister I was flirting with."

"Why?"

“She’s not my type and we’ve never gotten on well. Or at all, really.”

“I meant,” Josie rolls her eyes at Penelope’s cheeky smirk, “Why were you flirting with  _ me _ ?”

Penelope’s smirk falls away into something gentler. She fiddles with her glass and looks out over the gardens to avoid Josie’s deep eyes. "Some things are just inevitable, I guess."

Penelope closes her eyes and sucks her lip at the broken sob from next to her. Why can it never just be  _ easy _ between them? Why does it always have to hurt?

She opens her eyes to watch as Josie pushes away from the rail and strides away from Penelope. She should let her leave. Really, she should. But she’s already committed herself to being vulnerable and she’s in too deep to just give up that easily.

“Josie.”

Josie collapses in on herself, hands coming up to cover her face. She doesn’t turn around but she stops, giving Penelope a glimmer of hope. “We can’t keep doing this, Penelope.”

Well, she did say it was only a glimmer. Penelope smiles, layering her voice with every ounce of innocent charm she has. “Doing what? Talking at State functions?”

“Yes!” Josie cries hotly, spinning in a furious fluster.

Penelope laughs loudly but sobers quickly when she doesn’t hear Josie join her. Josie is just staring at her, solemn and determined as always. 

Her heart sinks in her chest. “You’re serious.”

Josie wavers, breaking eye contact and turning her face away. Penelope swallows, heart jumping into her throat when Josie’s eyes tilt back to her. Penelope almost moves forward but there’s a teary resolution to Josie’s eyes that keeps her in place.

“When I’m with you, I can’t be who they need me to be.” Josie says, voice wavering but never breaking. 

“Who’s they?” Penelope asks defensively, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight. 

She can’t help the attitude, she can feel the burn of embarrassment creeping up already. She had opened up, been vulnerable and open with her feelings and in the end she had been right from the start. 

Josie’s face crumples, finally cracking from the weight of the expectant pressure placed upon her. She rounds on Penelope, furious tears appearing as she spits the words, “Everyone! The court, the people, my family!” 

Her voice breaks under the desperation and urgency and she falters. Josie’s shoulders slump, the anger leaving her in a rough exhale and her bottom lip pouts out quickly before she sucks it into her mouth. 

Penelope’s heart wrenches as she wars with herself. Josie looks distraught and lost, which is something Penelope has never been able to ignore. But on the other hand, Josie has just kind of stomped on her newly vulnerable heart and comforting her now could only give her a better angle for a kill shot. 

Josie’s sad eyes flick up at her. Between that and the pleading, unsteady waver to her voice, Penelope’s mind is made. “They all look at me and want me to be this perfect picture of a person and I --”

“Who do  _ you _ want to be?” She cuts her off, closing the distance between them and dropping her arms so that she can reach out to catch Josie’s trembling hands. 

“I want to be me.” Josie steps into Penelope, gripping tight to her hands and resting her forehead against hers. “I want to be Jojo.”

Penelope clenches her eyes shut and tries to burn every second of the hold into her memory. Josie’s head moves, almost nuzzling her and Penelope’s heart sets off loud enough that she’s sure Josie can hear it. 

“Jojo…”

“That’s who I want to be. Especially when I’m with you.”

Penelope is a born diplomat in a family of politicians. She knows how important the distinction Josie makes is. It’s why she steps out of Josie’s arms, leaving only their linked hands to ground them. “And who do you  _ need _ to be?”

“I  _ need _ to be Josette Saltzman, Princess and Heir to the Throne.” There’s a weight to her title. Penelope can hear it in Josie’s voice and sees how it forces her shoulders back and brings her head up to an appropriately regal posture. 

It does nothing to stop the few tears that Josie can’t keep from slipping. Penelope tracks them as they fall, staring at the marks they leave when they crash to the ground. There’s an odd sadness in her chest, a kinship she feels with these tears as if she can feel herself slipping into a certain oblivion too.

Penelope braces herself for her own inevitable fate. She tries to force a smile but it falls short, becoming weak and sadly resigned. “And you can’t be her with me.”

“I don’t think so, no.” Josie smiles grimly with the confidence of experience, “It hasn’t worked in the past.”

“That’s not fair.”

Josie dryly laughs, a thick undercurrent of rage weaving its way through the sound. “What about any of this is  _ fair _ , Penelope?”

There’s a silence between them and Penelope knows. 

She hates that she does, but she  _ knows. _ She can see the end coming in everything about Josie right now; the sad little slight slump to her shoulders, the way her lips twitch like she’s barely keeping herself from crying, how she clasps her hands to hide her nervous fidgeting. 

Penelope sees all of this but it’s Josie’s eyes that tell her what’s coming.

Maybe it’s the way the lights bounce off the tears welling up before Josie blinks them away, but her eyes somehow look deeper tonight. Like a never ending abyss that Penelope stepped into without realising. And now she’s left free-falling with no promise of a safe or even survivable landing.

“I’m sorry.” The words come out as a hollow whisper.

Josie takes a half step forward but stops when Penelope takes a matching step back. She flinches like the movement hurts her but forces a conceding smile regardless. “So am I.”

Penelope takes another step back. The idea of just turning and running from Josie, the dinner and all of these feelings raging in her chest, is more appealing than any other but her pride is a stubborn beast. 

Nostrils flaring as she desperately tries not to cry, Penelope sketches a shallow curtsey, rasping out the bitter tasting words, “You have my… sincerest congratulations on your engagement, Your Highness.”

“Penelope…” There’s a sympathetic look in her eyes. From anyone else, Penelope would be furious but this is  _ Josie _ . And Josie has never been the same as anyone else. “You don’t have to...”

Penelope’s jaw clenches and ticks but she takes a rattling breath, smoothing her face free of any emotion before continuing as if Josie had never spoken. “I wish you a long and happy marriage.”

Josie’s crying now. A weak part of Penelope wants to reach out and ease her pain but she’s had enough of indulging her weakness for one night. She watches with grit teeth as Josie jerks forward before reading the clear warning in Penelope’s face and settling.

“Penelope,  _ please _ -” Whatever Josie was about to say is lost as a sudden cacophony of noise shatters their private little world. 

“Josie, there you are! We’ve been looking--” Hope bursts onto the balcony loudly, stopping in her tracks when she recognises Penelope. Her head bounces between the two of them with wide eyes like she’s watching a tennis match. “ _ Oh.” _

She gapes wordlessly before gesturing to the crowded room behind her. “Josie, they’re waiting for you. They want to take the, um,” She pauses and looks between them apologetically, “They want to take the announcement photos.”

“I shouldn’t keep you then.” She turns to Josie and for a moment it feels like it used to, like the only thing holding them steady was each other. But that was then and this is now. And in this now, Josie is engaged. Penelope smiles thinly, “I’m sorry for taking so much of your time.”

This time Josie doesn’t stop herself when she reaches forward but Penelope had already anticipated this and steps out of range, walking away swiftly. “No, Pen, don’t-”

She brushes past a silently wide-eyed Hope and closes the door behind her before she has to hear Josie ask her to stay and talk more. She’s had enough of talking. She ignores the feeling of eyes burning into her back and makes a beeline for the nearest waiter walking around with glasses of champagne. 

There’s a rise of applause behind her and she doesn’t have to look to know that Josie’s rejoined the crowd. Most likely accompanied by her  _fiancé_. Masochistic or maybe just stupid, Penelope turns to look anyway.

Josie is standing there smiling, arm in arm with the blandest, most homeless looking upper society man Penelope could have ever imagined. A quick glance around shows that she seems to be the only person not smiling or excited for the new bride to be. 

Josie’s eyes meet hers and Penelope watches her smile falter. Someone grabs Josie’s attention and Penelope takes the escape for what it is, making her way to the exit without looking back.

The familiar words burn in Penelope’s chest. Reminiscent of a time so long ago when things were different, happier. They score her throat and sit heavily on her tongue, screaming to get free but she just clenches her teeth tighter. It’s not like this is a new sensation for her. 

Repression, it turns out, is just like riding a bike. Time has passed and while it may seem that everything has changed, the words stay the same.

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _


	10. you think you want love (you wouldn't want it if you knew what it was)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed that I had to add a chapter onto this fic, I had to cut this chapter in half bc it was waaay too much to cram in.
> 
> We're not quite in the home stretch yet but we're in the neighbourhood stretch so I hope everyone likes this chapter 
> 
> Title from Moderation by Florence + the Machine.

She can’t stop thinking about it. 

Her eyes.

She can’t stop thinking about it.

All night and all morning, her mind has been focused on Penelope and that brief eye contact before Penelope just disappeared. The resigned heartbroken look haunts her waking thoughts.

She knows that Landon can see her distraction but her mind was too busy to even give him a thought after her absent-minded goodbye. She just needs the space. Just take a step back from the tangled mess that Landon doesn’t even know he’s embroiled in, along with a doomed first love and an endlessly apologetic and torn Josie.

“No one noticed your little balcony voyage so all in all I would chalk that dinner up as a success.” 

Apparently her internal anguish works as something of a bat signal for Lizzie and Hope. Lizzie’s loud announcement jolts Josie from where she’s lying on her back.

Josie groans with the knowledge of what’s coming, closing her eyes in an effort to ward off the upcoming headache. Lizzie bursting into a room and using that scathing tone usually only ends one way. 

Lizzie, familiar with her actions in a way that can only come from a lifetime together, grabs a pillow from a nearby chair and throws it to land solidly on a petulant Josie. 

“Despite your best efforts.”

“Lizzie.” Hope reprimands her, closing the door behind her and greeting Josie with an apologetic smile.

“What!” Lizzie shrugs. She flicks Josie a smirk, giving her a second of warning before launching herself onto the bed next to Josie.

Josie groans loudly in protest as she’s jostled by her sister's landing. Unapologetic for the disturbance, Lizzie makes herself comfortable on the bed, propping her arm on the pillows and then resting her head on her hand.

Completely disregarding Josie’s protests, she loudly responds to Hope, “Sneaking off for an emotional and dramatic confrontation under the noses of literally the nosiest people in the country, is not a best effort!”

Josie snorts. Lizzie lecturing  _ anyone _ on being dramatic is something of a cosmic joke. “Didn’t you propose by getting into a fight in the middle of Hope’s uncles’ wedding?”

“No!” Lizzie clutches her chest in offense but it’s undercut by Hope’s snort and Josie’s own disbelieving noise. “I am not so tacky as to do that at a wedding!”

Hope rolls her eyes, a sly smirk forming. “It was the reception.”

“Right. So, completely free of dramatic, emotional confrontation then.” Josie grins sarcastically.

“It’s not the same. There weren’t any cameras for mine.” Lizzie sniffs haughtily.

“Just my entire family.”

“Please,” Lizzie waves off Hope’s dry remark and Josie’s laugh, “Your family  _ lives  _ for drama.”

“I sometimes think that’s the only reason you’re marrying me.”

“It helps.”

Hope grins at Lizzie’s teasing smirk, Josie groans and makes loud retching noises directed at the two of them, pushing Lizzie none too gently off of the bed. Lizzie goes, throwing a smirk over her shoulder.

Hope waits for Lizzie to start flicking through a book on the other side of the room before perching herself on the end of the bed. God. It was a tactic. They’re using divide and conquer on her. Lizzie comes through making a mess of Josie with the broad jabs and nagging, then Hope cleans up with the earnest puppy eyes and concerned persistence.

It has an embarrassingly high success rate.

Josie groans and pulls her pillow over her face at the concerned pouty expression only for Hope to grab and force it away.

"I know you said you were fine last night but I still don't believe you."

"Hope-"

"How are you Josie? Really, not just how you think you have to be."

Josie sighs deeply. She knows it’s coming from a good place but she wishes Hope would just let this rest. "I'm fine, Hope."

"If that were true, would I have found you out on a secluded balcony with Penelope Park right after you announced your engagement to Landon?" 

Hope lets the question hang, watching Josie steadily. "It's okay if you still have feelings for her." 

Josie clenches her jaw. Hope is right, of course. It’s maddening. 

Hope pushes. "Do you?"

Josie can feel her jaw tick. "No."

"I know you feel something, Jo. Ignoring it is only going to hurt you," She says it with the pained confidence of experience, "So, please just talk to me."

She doesn’t know what makes her do it. Whether it’s the pleading puppy eyes from Hope, or if she’s just too tired to carry it by herself anymore. Maybe it’s just too much for her now. She was barely keeping it together before last night but now… 

Josie watches her fingers play with the edges of her sheet for a minute. She could do a lot worse than talk about it with Hope.

She glances up and Hope is still there, watching her patiently. Josie ducks her head again, avoiding Hope’s eyes. Just because she knows that she has to talk about it with Hope, doesn’t mean she has to look at her while she does it. 

“Have you ever just looked at someone and suddenly felt like you can’t breathe?”

“I’m familiar with the feeling.” There’s an affectionate softness to her voice. Josie looks up only to catch Hope gazing lovingly at Lizzie. 

She shoves at Hope’s shoulder in mock disgust, “Gross, that’s my sister!”

“You asked!” Hope laughs as she tries to avoid Josie’s swatting hands. It’s not long before Josie is giggling too hard to sustain her attack, Hope lets her hands fall in return.

She steals another glance at Lizzie who hasn’t even blinked at their antics. When she looks back, Josie squirms at the sympathy clear in her eyes and written on her face. “It’s like that for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Jo. I’m sorry.”

Josie sighs into a chuckle. “It seems that’s all everyone is nowadays.” 

She wonders if the resignation that sits heavy in her chest is similar to how Penelope felt on the balcony. It feels like everything is just slipping away from her no matter how hard she tries to keep hold of it.

That look comes back into Hope’s eyes and Josie has to bite her lip to stop the swell of anger rising. She doesn’t want  _ pity _ . Not for anything, especially not for this thing with Penelope. 

This was  _ her _ choice. Penelope had wanted to talk, she wanted to work this out. But Josie shot her down. Josie shot her down because it was the right thing to do.

For her duty to both herself and her family.

Hope pauses, biting at her lip. "You should talk to Lizzie about this."

Josie chuckles. Hope has a lot more faith in Lizzie’s better nature than she does. "Lizzie hates Penelope."

Hope’s brows quirk up, considering. She makes a face before nudging Josie with a soft smile. "But she loves you."

Josie rolls her eyes affectionately. As if she needs someone to affirm that for her. Still, after spending months not being sure of anything that she feels, it’s nice to have someone else confirm it too. "I know. That's why she wants what she thinks is best for me."

"And she doesn't think that’s Penelope."

"She does not." Josie confirms. She gives Hope an amused grin, leaning in conspiratively, "And, I don't know if you've noticed this, but Lizzie isn't exactly shy about sharing her thoughts."

Hope pulls her eyes from Lizzie with a thoroughly amused smirk. "It's come up."

Josie sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. Even when Hope’s laughing about her, she still looks at Lizzie and just  _ radiates _ such love. It shrouds her in a comfortable familiarity even as envy gnaws at her.

Hope looks back at her and Josie quickly masks everything with a flash of a smile. She must not have been fast enough because Hope’s smirk drops into a soft, sympathetic smile and she squeezes her hand lightly.

The pangs of envy grow stronger as Hope reaches out so easily to grab Lizzie’s attention. The two of them exchange such a soft look that Josie feels like she should give them a moment alone.

There’s a jealous monster that sinks its teeth into her heart. Why do they get to marry the person they love? Why does it get to be so easy for them?

Josie swallows down the jealousy, forcing the monster back into the darkness it came from. There’s no point being jealous of them; who needs someone they’re in love with who compliments them in nearly every possible way, when they could have a virtual stranger marry them mere months after meeting them?

No, she’s not bitter at all.

She can only hope that one day she might have a fraction of the love evident between Hope and Lizzie in her own marriage. 

A bitter chuckle builds in her throat. It’s a foolish, childish hope that she knows is, in the end, hollow. It might be early, but she already knows that she’ll never be able to have that.

At least, not with Landon.

She can’t stop the curse that she spits in her head.

Landon.

That’s yet another mess that she will have to work through.

Landon is a great guy, someone who is kind and supportive of her. She’s lucky to have found him when she did or else she would have likely ended up with a husband the likes of Sebastian or Jed.

She’s lucky.

She is.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

-

Days pass and the feeling doesn’t fade, Josie just gets better at ignoring it. She instead focuses all of her energy on her suddenly cramped calendar. 

News of the engagement seems to have inspired a fire in the council. Josie’s pretty sure that she has been called to more meetings and appointments in the last week than she has in months.

She wasn’t shocked when she received yet another urgent summons. What was surprising, was  _ who _ issued the summons and who else was invited.

Josie drags Landon around the corner, unsurprised to find Lizzie and Hope waiting for them. “Any idea why Dad is calling a family meeting?”

Landon shifts awkwardly, hands moving uncertainly before Lizzie shoots him a reproving look and he shoves them into his pockets. Josie clears her throat, drawing Lizzie’s attention with an eye roll.

“Does anyone know why Dad does anything?”

She’s not wrong. Alaric never explains his reasoning or decisions, only expects his instructions to be followed with minimal questioning. Especially when it comes to Lizzie and Josie. 

It would be easy for her to let the swirl of rage take hold. Let it’s claws sink into her chest and drag her into the well of disappointment at her father making another decision  _ for  _ them with no consultation. 

She bites down on the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep her frustration in check. Lizzie gives her a questioning look and Josie knows that she’s not alone in her disappointment, that Lizzie is just more prone to showing it. 

Josie nods ever so slightly, answering Lizzie’s silent check in. Sure, she’s annoyed and disappointed but when has she ever let that prevent her from her duty.

Lizzie drops the topic without a fight, happy to slip into a smirk and keep Landon and Hope from asking any questions. “I thought you went to all the council meetings.”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“Well, lucky for you; I went in your place.”

Josie grins, touched by Lizzie’s thoughtfulness, even if she’s playing it off as haughtiness. 

Still, there’s something off about the idea of Lizzie attending all of the council meetings in her stead. She would never have the patience to sit through the squabbling of men who care only for their own greed.

“You went to a council meeting? You?”

Lizzie holds her straight face for a minute before deflating. “Fine. I sat through two of those things and then I just had an aide go and write notes for me.”

“Um, sorry, I’m a little new to uh, all of this.” Landon hesitantly inches forward, a crooked shy smile to Josie as her laughter tapers off. “What’s going on?”

“Really?” Josie cuts Lizzie a stern look and Lizzie blows out a deep breath, muttering loud enough for everyone to hear. “Be supportive, be supportive.”

Josie bites her lip to beat down the laugh that wants to burst from her lips. She feels awful when she catches a glimpse of Landon’s face. His head hangs low with embarrassment and he rubs at the back of his neck while shifting his weight awkwardly.

Josie opens her mouth but words fail her. She searches desperately for words to both explain and comfort him but the creeping guilt over Landon sinks any sentence she tries to start.

Thankfully, Hope glances up from her very important task of smiling dreamily at Lizzie to answer him.

“Alaric doesn’t call these meetings… Well, ever really,” Hope bites her lip. The three of them exchange a nervous look, “If he’s calling one now…”

Landon’s face lights up with realization. “Something big is happening!” 

His face splits into a wide beaming smile, excited to contribute finally. Josie has to pretend to cough so she can cover her charmed smile.

“You’re not far off.”

Landon’s screams bounce down the hall as they all jump from the sudden voice.

Caroline’s hands shoot up to her shoulders, grimacing apologetically at the terrified four in front of her.

Josie presses her hand to her chest as if she could physically reach into her chest to calm her racing heart. She’s distracted by Lizzie’s frantic hands straightening her clothes from where she leapt into Hope’s arms.

Flipping her hair and pretending she didn’t just levitate three feet off the ground out of fear, Lizzie pins Landon with a look. “Manly scream there, Prince Charming.”

Caroline’s smile has a hit of reproach as she wraps Lizzie into her arms, reproach falling away when Lizzie leans into her. She places a light kiss her on the forehead with a teasing smile. “Leave him alone, Liz. I was right behind him.”

Lizzie gives Josie a smug, victorious smirk with a competitive gleam in her eyes. “Hope didn’t jump or scream.”

“I’m sorry that my fiance isn’t Hope Mikaelson with her nerves of steel.” Josie says sarcastically as she gently takes an embarrassed Landon’s hand.

Lizzie’s smile is all teeth. “I’m not.”

Logically, she knows she’s being baited. But she could also just go for a ‘blowing off steam’ fight with Lizzie.

She bares her teeth in a smile of her own, stepping toward Lizzie aggressively.

“Girls!”

Caroline steps between them with a stern frown. Josie and Lizzie bow their heads and pout respectively. Josie may be willing to get into a blow off fight with Lizzie but she’s not willing to do so in front of her disapproving mother. 

Satisfied that neither of them are going to start anything except for a rousing exchange of ridiculous facial expressions, Caroline shoves open the doors to the conference room, gesturing grandly to the others.

“Why don’t we wait until we’re inside the room to kill each other?”

Alaric is already inside reviewing documents. He looks up when they enter and Josie is struck by how much older he looks. The stress of his role seems to be catching up with him faster and faster, new lines marking her face and his hair taking on a grey tinge.

She gets it. She feels like she’s aged 30 years in the last few months too.

Alaric lets out a relieved sigh but he doesn’t smile. That’s how Josie knows that, whatever is happening? It’s bad. Her dad always at least  _ tries  _ to smile when he sees his daughters. 

“Oh, good. Everyone’s here.”

Lizzie must not notice how strange he’s acting. Or, more likely, she noticed and then dismissed it.

“And everyone is here why?”

“Because,” He takes a dramatic pause, putting his documents away and folding his arms on the table. At least now they know where Lizzie got it from. “There’s been a fire at the Park residence.”

What.

Josie’s mind blanks out and her heart starts beating erratically. “What? Is Pen- Is everyone okay? Is she hurt- I mean, are  _ they _ hurt?”

Lizzie snickers at her too-quick questions. “Smooth. Good save.”

“They’re all okay. No one was hurt.” Caroline rushes to reassure her. She quirks a brow at Josie but Josie can’t bring herself to be concerned about how it looks for her to be so worried about Penelope. Not when there’s a very good possibility that Penelope could be hurt, or worse. “As far as we can tell, there was just a small amount of damage and no one was hurt.”

“Why are you making this fire - an act of God that was, frankly, deserved, sound so awful then?” 

Josie doesn’t even try to stop the snarling curl to her lip at Lizzie’s blase tone. Her mother gives her another warning look.

If Josie were in a better state of mind, she would be concerned over how much her mother seems to know about whatever is going between her and Penelope. At the moment though, all she can think about is how long it would take her to find Penelope and make sure she’s okay, that she’s as unhurt as her mother is promising.

Alaric sighs heavily and pushes a piece of paper over to Lizzie. “Because Edwin Park is now kicking up a fuss about how he feels that his family is unsafe in the property.”

“Oh, what an asshole.”

“They will be needing somewhere to stay in the meantime.” There’s something in his voice that makes Josie’s ears prick up, her attention caught. 

Lizzie must have noticed something unsaid in his voice as well because there’s a new, dangerous edge to her stare. “I will call them a hotel.”

“Can’t they just stay here?”

Landon’s offer is well meaning and sweet but also hopelessly clueless. The notion of the Park’s, any of the Park’s, staying with them at the palace during a time of political upheaval? Not a great one.

“There’s, um, there’s enough space, right? And, I mean, it’s not like there’s going to be a fire in the palace, yeah?”

Josie shakes her head, desperately trying to signal him to stop talking. He must see her signals. That or he sees the burning glowering looks and thunderous frowns aimed at him from everyone but her father. 

“Fantastic idea, Landon.”

“Dad, no.”

“What!”

This would have been 16 year old Josie’s dream; having Penelope around all the time and totally valid reasons to spend time with her. 

For 22 year old Josie, it is considerably less thrilling. Somehow, she’s not overwhelmed with joy thinking about having to bump into Penelope  _ every day _ . She had a hard enough time holding Penelope’s eyes before she left the dinner, she doesn’t have it in her to do that constantly.

“Ric. Think this through.” Caroline smiles through grit teeth. Josie is in awe of her ability to layer such threatening tones through her teeth.

“I  _ am _ thinking it through. Bringing them in keeps them where we can watch them. I don’t trust Edwin.”

Josie wonders how many times she can bite her tongue before it bleeds. A sarcastic comment is burning on her lips at how unendingly terrible this plan is. 

Lizzie beats her to it, “So you give him access to your home? Great display of distrust.”

“Lizzie-”

Josie really doesn’t feel guilty for laughing at her father’s discomfort as he shifts under Lizzie’s judgemental eyes. She feels even less guilty for imparting her own warning. “She’s right. This will backfire.”

Landon shoots her a shaky, anxious smile, “Nice pun.” 

Hope grimaces and shakes her head. “Not even remotely the right time.”

Josie just wishes to be back in her bed and for all of this to be nothing but a terrible, awful, no good nightmare. She closes her eyes and pinches her arm but when she opens them nothing’s changed and she’s still in this damn room.

Landon scratches his ear, embarrassed. “Right. Sorry. We could split them up? Like, Mr and Mrs Park can stay in the far rooms and then you could move Penelope to the same wing as Josie and Lizzie. They can watch her.”

“If you talk again, I swear to God, I’ll sue.”

Landon swallows audibly and steps away from Lizzie’s intensity. 

Caroline rolls her eyes and slows his retreat with a raised hand. “Lizzie’s joking. Relax, Landon.”

Her dad pushes himself up from the table with a wide smile. “Another great idea. Josie, you might be onto a keeper here.”

And then he’s gone. Just drops yet another mess of a situation onto Josie’s life like a bomb and walks away washing his hands of it. Josie hisses out a heavy breath and works her jaw. That ball of rage from earlier is back, it’s claws sinking deeper and cutting harder.

Her hands curl into tight fists and she has to take some very deep breaths so that she doesn’t say or do anything she’ll later regret.

Thankfully, she has Lizzie.

“Mum!”

Caroline worries her lips with her teeth. There’s very little of her regular confidence on her face. Instead, Josie thinks she can see apprehension and concern in the darting looks directed at her. Caroline  _ has  _ to know something. Her little glances to Josie are far too knowing for anything else. 

Were Josie not currently juggling her impending marriage, her upcoming coronation as well as her romantic entanglements, she may have cared a little more. It may have even been a cause for serious concern for her. As it is though, she just meets every little glance solidly with no emotion.

Caroline is the first to break eye contact, looking to the door that Alaric had just walked out of. Her shoulders square and Josie can feel a small bulb of hope bloom. 

Caroline nods shortly and then flicks her head for the four of them to leave. “I will work on your father and try to figure something else out.”

-

Despite the best efforts of her mother, her sister, her soon-to-be sister in law _ and _ herself, Alaric would not be swayed. The Parks move in the very next day.

It takes Josie a couple of hours before she sees her. Which, honestly? Longer than she thought it would take. 

It wasn’t like she’s actively looking for Penelope. But she also isn’t actively avoiding her. All of the sudden she finds herself loitering in the communal and frequented areas. She never catches so much as a glimpse of any Park though, let alone the one she definitely  _ isn’t _ keeping an eye out for.

She was expecting an instantaneous meeting; maybe literally running into Penelope in the halls, seeing her in any given policy meeting, or at the very least seeing her around the grounds.

(There may have been a recurrent fantasy of walking through the garden maze only to find Penelope standing next to the fountain. They would banter and cast charged gazes at each other but by the end, Josie would always find herself in Penelope’s arms. 

And then she would wake up.)

She wasn’t expecting to find Penelope reading in Josie’s own favourite window seat.

It shouldn’t have been a shock though. When has any interaction with Penelope gone as Josie expected? So,  _ of course _ Josie would find Penelope the very second her guard relaxes slightly. 

Josie doesn’t say anything at first. She just runs her eyes over Penelope, reassuring herself that she was truly unharmed. Josie has read the reports, she knows that the fire was not that close to Penelope but that didn’t stop her imagination taking her worry and running wild with it.

Josie’s eyes roam over her slowly but there’s no sign of any injury. Matter of fact, with the sun streaming through the window behind her and haloing her, Penelope is the most beautiful thing Josie’s seen, maybe ever.

Penelope moves, just turning a page but it’s enough to remind Josie that she’s blatantly ogling Penelope in public. All Penelope would have to do is look up from her book and Josie would be caught.

Later, when she thinks back to this moment, she’ll wonder why she didn’t just walk away. 

There’s just something about Penelope looking so peaceful in the window, sun streaming through her hair and making her look like a dream. Josie can’t stop herself.

“I heard there was a fire.”

Penelope’s only reaction to Josie’s presence is the barely noticeable tensing of her shoulders. The change is instantaneous and subtle as Penelope slams her walls up and slips into the untouchable persona she uses in public. Josie swallows harshly and tries to ignore the sting of Penelope’s distrust.

“I’m shocked that it wasn’t your sister who started it. But then again,” Penelope closes her book with a definitive thud and turns to her with a snide smirk. “Fire has always been more your thing, huh?”

Josie rolls her eyes, scuffing at the floor and trying valiantly not to pout. “That was  _ one _ time.”

“Mmm. It was memorable.”

-

_ Josie shrieks, frantically searching the room as her throat closes with panic. Of all of the times for a fire to break out, it has to be now?! _

_ Penelope leaps from the bed, her voice dripping in incredulous amusement.  _

_ “You started a fire?!” _

_ “It’s not like I meant to!” _

_ “How do you accidentally start a fire?!”  _

_ It’s a valid question but Josie almost misses it completely after trying to throw an accusing look over her shoulder. _

_ Any other time and Josie would be delightfully distracted by the sight of Penelope dashing around in lingerie that Josie had been interrupted from peeling off of her. Unfortunately, the flames crackling merrily behind her are really putting a damper on her ability to leer.  _

_ Josie wholly plans on blaming the fire for the rising blush in her cheeks should anyone ask. Penelope is doing a poor job of hiding her grin as she holds out a shirt that Josie snatches quickly.  _

_ She turns to begin trying to beat the fire out, also taking the excuse to hide her deepening blush. _

_ “It’s your fault!”  _

_ An offended cry comes from where Penelope is extinguishing the remaining candles. “How! You’re the one who kicked the candle over!” _

_ “Because- because you did that thing!” _

_ Penelope stops. Josie, flustered, gives the fire a few more strikes before noticing the cocky cheshire grin Penelope is sporting. _

_ “You liked that, huh?” _

_ “Really? Right now?” Josie chokes out, unimpressed. _

_ “You’re right.” Penelope concedes solemnly. Josie knows better though, there’s a highly amused glint in her eyes and her lips keep twitching like she’s barely holding back a grin. “If you started a fire because of it, it must have been good.” _

_ The heat in her cheeks must be from the fire. And only the fire. _

_ “I hate you.” _

_ “With a burning rage?” _

_ Penelope tilts her head, a sly grin forming on her lips. Josie feels her mouth goes dry; Penelope standing before her wearing nothing but lingerie and a flirty grin ranks pretty highly in Josie’s list of best dreams. _

_ Not that she could let Penelope know that. She would never let Josie live it down. Ever. _

_ Also, there’s a fire behind her.  _

_ “We could die!” _

_ Penelope rolls her eyes and saunters closer with an exasperated sigh, “We’re not going to die; the fire’s out and we’re all still here.” Josie’s jaw goes slack as Penelope holds her eyes, winding her arms around her neck with a sultry smirk. “Alone. Scantily clad.” _

_ “In a room that smells like it was recently set on fire.” Josie points out hoarsely. _

_ “The fire of your fiery passion.” Penelope teases, wiggling her eyebrows. _

_ Josie’s answering scoff dies in her throat when Penelope leans in and skates her lips across her jaw. She feels more than hears Penelope’s huffed laughter at the way Josie instinctively melts into her, hands landing on Penelope’s hips and head tilting to give Penelope more room to work. _

_ “You are the worst.” _

_ “Mmm. I think you’re into it.” _

_ Josie can’t really argue with that. Not with the moan that tears itself from her as Penelope’s lips reach her neck. All Josie is able to do is just tighten her hold on Penelope’s hips and hold on for all she’s worth. _

_ She’s lost in the feel of Penelope’s nails scratching idly at the nape of her neck. Overwhelmed by the drag of her teeth down her throat and the vibrations of her pleased hums that send shivers down her spine.  _

_ It doesn’t click for a time. The pattern going unnoticed beneath Penelope’s incredible ministrations. Her eyes fly open when the pattern clicks and she recognises what Penelope is doing. _

_ “Are you humming Burning Love?” _

_ The humming stops and the warmth of Penelope’s lips leaves as she pulls back. Josie can still feel the curve of Penelope’s lips as she smiles against her neck. “I was thinking Sex on Fire might be a little too on the nose, y’know?” _

_ “If you ever want to have sex with me again; yes, it is.” _

_ Josie feels the grin grow and swallows dryly. Penelope trails her lips back up the column of her neck before hovering a hair’s breadth away from Josie’s lips. “Mmmm. I have a feeling that you would cave anyway.” _

_ “Is that right?”  _

_ It is but Josie is not about to tell her that. She doesn’t need to give verbal confirmation on just how much power Penelope has over her. Especially if it means that Penelope will keep playing with her hair like she is. _

_ Her voice is just as breathy as Penelope’s so she doesn’t feel embarrassed about that so much as she does about the way her head jerks forward to try and catch Penelope’s lips. _

_ “Penelope?” She chases Penelope’s lips just hard enough to lure Penelope in. When she’s got her, when Penelope’s pupils are blown, eyes dark and focused on Josie’s lips, that’s when she drops the other shoe.  _

_ “I am not going to have sex with you in a room that was literally just on fire.” _

_ “Chicken.” Penelope laughs as she pushes herself away from Josie’s frank statement. _

_ Josie’s teeth scrape over her lip as she considers the sight of Penelope gathering items of her scattered clothing. On one hand, it’s an enjoyable sight but on the other, it’s somewhat incredibly disappointing for Penelope to be putting clothes  _ on _. _

_ She still isn’t about to have sex with Penelope right now. At least, not in a room that Josie had just seen catch flames. “Do you know how many other rooms there are in this wing alone?” _

_ “You know what? I think I might need another tour.” Penelope’s lip brush against her own, only infantismally longer than the glancing brush from earlier. “Know anyone who can help me out?” _

_ “I think I’ll handle this personally.” Josie leans her head forward and claims Penelope’s lips in a convincing kiss. _

-

“One  _ accidental _ time does not count as a pattern.” Josie mutters sullenly, much to Penelope’s amusement.

“I think once is usually enough when it comes to fire starting.”

There’s no accusation in her voice, it’s just an observation. And Josie even knows that Penelope’s joking, but she just can’t let it go. She can’t let Penelope think that, even with everything that’s happened between them, she could ever try to hurt her like that.

“Penelope, I would  _ never _ -”

Penelope folds her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes and looking away from Josie’s earnest expression. “Relax, Your Highness. I have no suspicion of your involvement.”

Dismissive as she is trying to make it, Josie can pick out the hurt and disappointment clearly through the forced casualness. It stings and the pain echoes dully throughout her body. She turns her head down so that Penelope can’t see it.

She needn’t have bothered. Penelope is pointedly not looking anywhere in her direction. She’s busying herself shuffling her books and trying to stealthily cast pleading looks for the exit. 

Josie nibbles on her lip nervously, before calling Penelope’s attention by stepping into her space. She knows she’s pushing her luck something fierce but she nudges the hand Penelope rests on the table with her own. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

The answering smile is far more bitter than any smile she’s ever received from Penelope. “Sure.”

Her mouth opens to respond but it’s not her voice that breaks the tense silence that has fallen around them.

“For what it’s worth,  _ I _ am not glad.”

Josie sighs deeply, turning to find Lizzie striding toward them. Not overly surprising, after the meeting with their dad, Lizzie would have been looking for her. What was surprising is that Landon is trailing after her.

Penelope bites before Josie can question any of it. “Oh, but when are you happy, Lizzie? Is it when you make children cry?”

“That little brat was crying before I got there.” Josie’s somewhat impressed that Lizzie doesn’t even blink in her reply, “Heard the fire was Hell’s way of calling you home, too bad you didn’t take it.”

“How could I miss out on these fabulous conversations.”

Seeing the both of them settling into a rhythm, Josie steps in front of Penelope to cut sight lines and interjects before they can really get going. “What are you guys doing here?”

Landon pokes his head out from behind Lizzie, raising his hand jiltedly, “I was going to show Penelope to the room she’ll be staying in?”

Penelope waves him off, collecting her books. “It’s fine, bellhop. I’ll just follow my parents and pick a room.” 

Landon’s face drops awkwardly, averting his eyes and rubbing at the back of head. “Oh, um. That won’t really help you...”

“...Why not?”

“Well, uh, their room is in the other wing and your room is right near ours.”

Josie flinches at the speed Penelope’s face goes deathly calm. 

“What.” See, now that  _ should _ be a question but the tone used very clearly indicates that it is not. Even Lizzie takes a step away, leaving Landon in the direct line of Penelope’s steadily growing wrath. “ _ Why _ ?”

“I thought you would be happier with people your own age?” His voice grows smaller as Penelope’s glare bores into him.

“Oh, yes. What a  _ great _ idea.”

“I, um. Okay, I’ll just take you there now then?”

Penelope closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose and taking a measured breath in an effort to calm herself. “You know what, I’ll be fine by myself. I can navigate these halls pretty well.” 

Inhaling sharply, Josie’s heart clenches as Penelope’s eyes flick to hers. Her eyes are drawn to her lips as they curve cruelly into a dark smirk. She can almost hear her teeth creaking from how tight she’s clenching them. 

Penelope knows damn well that, at the very least, Josie and Lizzie would understand what she’s implying; how well she knows the halls from when she used to sneak around in them with Josie. A quick glance at Landon shows that he has no idea of the implication tied into Penelope’s words, his face only shows a little more confusion and curiosity than his usual.

“Oh, I’d love to take you though!”

Josie wheels on Landon so fast her head spins. Lizzie is also gaping at him in disgust and Penelope’s eyebrow is climbing higher and higher the longer Landon smiles at her innocently.

Josie clears her throat lightly in the awkward tension that blankets them after Landon’s enthusiastic suggestion.

Landon glances at her, smile faltering as his eyes bounce across the three of them. Josie has to bite down on her lip, stifling the smile that threatens to break when she can almost literally see the lightbulb go off in Landon’s head.

“I did not mean that- I am so sorry. I really meant to just say-” He rushes to apologise, words tripping over each other as he desperately tries to explain.

Penelope raises a hand, silencing Landon mid apology ramble. “I would like nothing more than to leave right now, so let’s go.”

Josie is struck by the resemblance between Landon and a bobblehead as he nods. “I’m Landon, by the way. Josie’s fiance.”

“Penelope. Nothing to Princess Josie, but Ambassador to the foreign masses.” At Penelope’s introduction, Josie’s eyes fall to her shoes where she’s toeing the floor. It’s not even the words that sting the most, it’s the cavalier way Penelope disregarded their entire… relationship feels like the wrong word, too official, but it’s the best she has to describe their emotional and physical entanglement.

With her eyes on her shoes, she almost misses Penelope exit completely. She looks up in time to catch a flash of those green eyes

“Oh, we’re leaving, okay.” Landon shatters Josie’s trance, grabbing her hand to squeeze it quickly before trotting after Penelope with a comically fearful expression. Josie’s pretty sure he’s only partially exaggerating the fear. 

“Bye, guys. Wish me luck!”

Josie keeps her eyes on the doorway they disappeared through, straining her eyes for any signs of distress. Landon is surprisingly good to talk to, once you get past the awkward and anxious jitters, but he’s also her fiance.

The chances of Penelope giving him the benefit of the doubt are extraordinarily slim.

“He’s going to need it. She’ll eat him alive.”

Lizzie joins her, watches him go with the same expression one would use to watch a rabbit bounce closer to a fox in wait. She hums lightly at Josie’s declaration.

“Probably. That is what the witch in Hansel and Gretel did.”

“Are you trying to say that Landon is Hansel?”

“Hush now, Gretel. We have a witch to burn.”

Josie scrunches her nose, “That just feels wrong.”

“Is it the witch murder thing or the subtle insinuation that you and Landon are siblings that she’s going to eat?”

“You know, it  _ was _ the witch murder thing but now it’s both.”

Lizzie rounds on her, a wicked smirk playing on her lips and she teases, “And here I thought you liked it when she ate you. Times change, I guess.”

-

In stark contrast to the library, the next time Josie sees Penelope, she desperately wishes she hadn’t.

She’s trying to find Landon because they’re supposed to be going over some of the courtly required rituals they’re to complete before the wedding. What she finds instead is a golden ticket to an early grave and a one way seat to hell, via the gutter.

Penelope is striding purposefully down the hall. Dressed and tailored to perfection, not a stitch or hair out of place. Josie isn’t even sure if she’s jealous of the confident power that just exudes from Penelope, or if she wants very much for Penelope to turn that confidence onto her. 

Both?

Both.

“You- you look…”Josie trails off, searching for a word to describe the feeling that erupts just at the sight of Penelope. Penelope cocks a brow and Josie gives up on flattery through the spoken word. For now, at least. “Good. You look really good.”

“I have a meeting with Vardemus and some mutual associates in 20 minutes.” She says flatly, ignoring Josie’s weak attempt at a compliment.

“All this for Vardemus? Lucky guy!” Josie jokes weakly, hating herself for it as she does. 

Why can she never just leave it alone? She was so determined to be over and done with Penelope, and now that she has the opportunity, she’s basically chasing her every time they meet. If she had any sort of self-control, she wouldn’t be engaging with Penelope at every half-opportunity, she would smile tightly and walk away.

She just doesn’t want to.

It’s cruel. It’s cruel to both Penelope and herself to keep feeding into this trainwreck between them but she just can’t stop. 

She’s dragged from her ruminations by Penelope’s cutting voice.

“If these people see me looking  _ really good _ ,” She pitches her voice in a blatant mockery, “then they might underestimate me. I can use that against them and play them like a violin.”

“I love the violin!” It’s too much. She’s too eager, too desperate to connect how they used to. Penelope doesn’t bail her out either, just looks back at her blankly. “As well as, you know, the other… instruments.” She finishes lamely.

The corner of Penelope’s lip twitches up ever so slightly but her eyes don’t soften at all. It keeps Josie in the newly familiar feeling of being unsure and unsteady around Penelope. She hates it.

“And if they don’t underestimate you?”

Penelope smirks, “Then I lose the jacket.”

Josie tries her very best to keep her eyes locked on Penelope’s face but it’s no use, it would require a superhuman effort and Josie is just one woman.

She looks down.

There’s nothing overtly sexual about the shirt as long as you discount who is wearing it, but Josie knows all too well what Penelope can do. For example, reach up and toy with a button, knowing that Josie’s eyes are going to be drawn to the movement.

“Oh.”

“Try to keep your eyes up, Your Highness. Wouldn’t want to hurt your fiance.” 

Her eyes snap up at the dark tone. “I- Landon- What?”

Penelope flashes her a plastic grin and brushes past her smoothly. She’s left to gawk after Penelope as she walks away with more confidence than she walked in with.

-

This is just not Josie’s week.

She was looking forward to her early morning gym session to work out her frustrations. Maybe her first mistake was daring to have hope that anything would work out for her.

A fun fact Josie would have like to know before blindly walking into the locker room:

MG works out in the morning.

Another fact that Josie would have  _ loved _ to know before blindly walking into the locker room:

MG doesn’t work out alone.

“Jesus! Shit!”

Everything fuzzes for a moment as Josie’s head collides with the floor. She doesn’t even have the opportunity to groan in pain before a weight lands on her, driving all of the air from her lungs in a gasping wheeze.

There’s a low groan from above her and Josie slowly registers puffs of air against her neck and puts it together with the panting breaths she can hear. She cracks an eye open and immediately slams it shut, regretting it immensely.

“Oh, come on!”

“Not exactly my idea of a fun time either, Your Highness.” Penelope plants her hands on either side of Josie’s head and pushes herself up with a wince.

Josie rests her head back against the tiles and focuses on her breathing, trying to recover the breath that Penelope’s landing knocked out of her. The deep breaths probably do more harm than good though because it only alerts her to just how much of her body is tangled with Penelope’s.

It’s distracting to say the least. 

“You can call me Josie, you know. I think we’ve reached a first name basis.”

Penelope’s eyebrow raises imperiously, “From where your hand is, I’d say we’ve reached more than that.”

“Wha- Oh my god!” 

Her face burns and she snatches both of her hands to her chest hard enough to create a thud. She pushes herself onto her elbows and tries to backpedal but Penelope kneels up and tries to move away at the same time.

Inevitably, their legs tangle together and Penelope loses her balance, over correcting and pitching forward into Josie again. Josie panics and flails, succeeding only in intertwining them further. 

If a giant sinkhole could open directly beneath her and swallow her whole, Josie would jump at the chance. In their latest tangle, they’ve somehow managed to roll so that Josie is half trapping Penelope with her body.

Which, wow. Okay, Josie is hoping that it’s the probable concussion talking but she’s not really wishing for that sinkhole anymore.

Penelope’s hair is splayed out beneath her and she must have been fresh from the gym because she’s worked up just enough of a sweat to still glisten under the lights. Hovering over a sweaty Penelope while they’re both breathing heavily is clearly enough for Josie’s jostled brain to tell her body that something very different is happening.

She doesn’t even realise how they’ve landed until there’s an odd noise from beneath her. Careful eyes flick down to Penelope but her eyes are slammed shut and her jaw muscles are getting a workout of their own. 

Josie shifts to move closer and ask Penelope what’s wrong, but there’s that same sound but louder. Her eyes travel further down and Josie blanches when she realises where her knee has landed.

“I am  _ so _ sor-”

“It’s fine. Just- let me up.” Penelope says, voice tight and strained.

Josie scrambles backwards and Penelope slides out with far more grace and dignity than the situation really calls for.

Penelope stretches a hand out to help her up on instinct before there’s frantic shouting at the door shortly before it’s thrown open.

MG bursts into the room, stance ready and eyes sweeping before he locks on to the two of them looking freshly tousled. And Josie is still on the damn floor.

MG’s eyes bounce between them, widening at the same speed as his rapidly growing smile. He gives Penelope a meaningful look, complete with short and jerky head motions. Josie starts collecting herself to rise before Penelope’s scathing tone cuts into her thoughts.

“You’re really just going to stand there and let your future boss  _ and _ Queen lie on the floor? Some guard you are.” 

MG gives Penelope a flat look, looking obviously at her stationary feet as he crosses the room to help Josie up. 

Penelope shrugs, “What? I’m not a guard.”

With an affectionate roll of his eyes, MG ignores Penelope and gently pulls Josie to her feet.

“Thanks, MG.” Now that she’s vertical, Josie can feel the after-effects of her head bouncing off the tiles earlier.

She tries to take a step and it’s like the ground moves underneath her. One second it’s there and the next it’s nowhere near where she’s putting her foot. It’s like she’s trying to move underwater, she can see the floor rushing up to her but can’t make her body move fast enough to do anything about it.

She closes her eyes, bracing herself for the impact. Though rather than hitting the floor, she feels a tight grip on her arm and a hand cradling the back of her head. Her eyes open to see the floor still a safe distance away. Thank god for MG and his quick reflexes. 

But the hands holding her are too small to be MG’s.

Disbelieving, Josie tries to whip her head around but the move is aborted when a wave of pain crashes over her. Groaning and clutching at her temple, Josie misses the whisper soft comforting murmurings from above her. 

She doesn’t miss the light and soothing strokes of the hand at the back of her head. Slower this time, Josie turns her head to squint up at Penelope’s face, shadowed by the bright lights. It’s like something from a book, how Penelope’s face is cast in shadow but her eyes still draw Josie’s attention with no trouble.

Penelope slowly draws her up, keeping her grip on Josie’s arms until she’s steady on her feet once more. Josie leans into it, holding Penelope’s forearms. 

“Thank you,” Josie murmurs softly, eyes flicking between Penelope’s.

“You’re welcome, Jojo.” Penelope breathes just as softly before seeming to realise what she’s doing.

She clears her throat gruffly and steps away hastily. Josie mourns the warmth that came from her hands as she watches Penelope practically run out of the room.

Confused at Penelope’s hasty exit, Josie looks to MG for some sort of explanation but he just looks torn between gaping and beaming.

Josie’s just glad that she isn’t the only one left desperately confused by everything that just happened.

-

Josie adds another stack of papers to the pile to the left of her. Lizzie glances up with concerned eyes but Josie doesn’t see, already grabbing the next from the dwindling pile to her right.

She’s been burning through the huge stack of policy proposals for both her current office and the office of the crown. After all, she’s getting married in a scant few weeks and it’ll be her office, may as well get a jumpstart on the paperwork.

“Alright! Enough of this.”

Lizzie slams her hands down on the table, launching herself to her feet. Josie jumps in her seat, scattering loose papers and sending some flying.

“Enough of the… policy reading?” Josie ventures as she tries to calm her racing heart.

“What?” Lizzie scowls, “No, Josie! I don’t care about the policy reading!”

“I’m confused.”

“Yes, obviously!”

Their loud voices draw attention. Namely, Hope’s. She approaches them cautiously, “What are we talking about?”

“Lizzie is making no sense.”

Hope’s mouth twists into a half grin, “Well, that’s not rare.”

“Okay,” Lizzie runs a hand over her face, a familiar exasperation settling in. She exhales deeply and opens her eyes with a forced calm smile. “Let’s focus here.”

Hope and Lizzie exchange one of their looks. Josie catches the look and instantly her hackles rise. With everything that has happened this year, the last thing she needs is for the two of them to be ganging up on her.

“Focus on what? What are you two talking about?” She says slowly, eyeing the suddenly fidgeting pair suspiciously.

“You.”

“Me? Why?”

Hope speaks, words sounding rehearsed and Josie wouldn’t put it past Lizzie to have made them rehearse this fun little chat. “We have noticed that, lately, you’ve been a little…”

“A major downer.”

Hope eyes flick up in annoyance and she scrapes her teeth over her lip, “Thank you, Lizzie.”

Unbelievable. She’s up to her neck in work  _ and  _ wedding preparations and now they’re trying to tell her to relax? To be  _ happy _ ? Because she hasn’t been enough  _ fun  _ for them to be around?

“Are you guys serious?”

“I mean,” Hope hems, “I wouldn’t have put it like  _ that _ …”

Alright. She’s heard enough.

Anger simmering, Josie courses her frustration into stacking the scattered pages with more aggression than necessary. “I don’t have time for this. I have a ton of work to do and that’s not even including all of the things I have to do for the wedding.”

Lizzie points a warning finger at her, threat clear in her tone. “Firstly, you are not touching that wedding, I have everything planned.” After twin glares in response, she rolls her eyes and continues, “Secondly, you are just going to have to make time for this.”

“Lizzie-”

Lizzie doesn’t give her the chance. There’s a curl to her lip that usually means she’s been holding what she’s about to say back for a while. “No. No, we’re not going to just  _ ignore _ the fact that you’re struggling, Josie!”

Josie really should have known, whenever Lizzie gets worried or feels helpless about something, she gets angry. Her jaw clenches. “I’m not struggling, I’m fine.”

“You’re burying yourself into your work, Jo. That’s not fine, that’s avoidance.” Hope says softly.

“So because I’m working hard, the two of you think I’m going off the rails?” Josie scoffs, barely resisting the urge to scream. 

“I’m just worried, Jo.” Lizzie’s shoulders slump and she sags under the weight of her worry. “You haven’t been like you these past few weeks. You’re diving into all of this stuff that you’re being told is your duty but you’re just going through a lot right now.”

Hope reaches out and takes Lizzie’s hand before turning to Josie once more, mirroring looks of worry on their faces. “We just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.” She says tersely. She might not even be lying. As long as any contrary feelings are buried beneath the surface, she’s not going to go looking for them. Out of sight, out of mind.

And as long as her feelings are both, she’ll still be fine.

She leaves before either Hope or Lizzie have an opportunity to stop her. Just before the door slams behind her, she hears Lizzie’s sarcastic quip.

“I think that went well.”

-

Josie paces furiously through the halls like a caged animal. With every step she hears the echoes of Hope and Lizzie’s prodding, trapping her in a loop of building anger.

She’s lost track of where she even is in the palace at this point. She just needed to go. She didn’t have a destination or route in mind, just knew that she couldn’t stay near Lizzie and Hope without saying something she knows that she would come to regret. 

It’s not their fault that their concern is entirely unwanted. Josie is fine. She’s  _ fine. _

She is - 

She’s not alone.

Penelope is coming down the staircase from the wing her parents are roomed in. Well, less coming down and more thumping down if Josie’s been honest.

She’s still too far from Penelope to clearly see her expression but she’s close enough to see the bottle dangling from her fingers. Between the bottle and the borderline stomping, Josie’s pretty confident in assuming Penelope is equally distressed.

“Rough night?” 

Penelope chokes from where she was taking a swig, obviously not expecting company. Her eyes find Josie immediately, not hard considering Josie is the only other person in the spacious room but it still sends a thrill through her.

“You could say that.” Penelope half heartedly smirks, flowing down the stairs to meet Josie at the bottom, “You look pretty rough yourself.”

“Rough enough to hope that whatever is in that bottle is strong enough to kill as many brain cells as possible.”

“Guess it’s your lucky night.” 

Penelope drops to sit on the stairs, holding the bottle out as an offering. It only takes a moment of contemplation before Josie is settling herself next to Penelope and taking the bottle.

As the whiskey burns down her throat, Josie takes the time to really look at Penelope. She was right earlier, Penelope looks terrible. There’s a tension in her face and her eyes are red and tired. She must have come from a meeting with her parents. Josie’s only ever seen her this way after she’s met with her parents.

“Wanna talk about it?” She offers, not looking at Penelope as she passes the bottle back.

Penelope laughs shortly, taking a larger drink than Josie. “Do you?”

“Point taken.” 

They sit there in silence, just passing the bottle back and forth between them. Josie loses track of how much time passes with her thoughts swirling over and over. The whiskey she was drinking probably didn't help either.

Which is why she's going to blame the whiskey for her outburst. 

She couldn't explain what it was that made her do it. Penelope hadn't even prompted her with a question, had pointedly not asked any questions actually. The words lurk on the tip of her tongue just as Penelope takes the bottle back. 

Their fingers brush slightly during the transfer and Josie's jaw muscle jumps as she stares dumbly at her fingertips as if there would be some sort of visible mark where they had touched. 

Unable to handle whatever this is with Penelope on top of everything that she's already dealing with tonight, Josie is ready to burst. Something's got to give. She's not brave enough to shatter this tentative peace they've found, so everything else it is.

“It’s just everyone telling me what I should be doing and how I should be feeling and acting all the time!”

Penelope smiles bitterly, "We all have our roles to play I guess."

"And your role is to be the perfect daughter?" 

Obviously not expecting that, her head snaps around faster than Josie was ready for. Penelope furrows her brow, mouth opening and closing soundlessly, Josie takes pity and answers her unspoken question, "Your parents are in the wing that hall leads to. I made a guess."

Penelope cocks her head to the side, "Not a bad guess."

It’s weird that their conversation is flowing as easily as it is. Penelope has been avoiding her since the dinner and Josie has been letting her. Even if they did interact, anything they say is stilted and awkward, none of the ease that had brought them together in the first place. 

It’s easy now though. Maybe it’s the whiskey greasing the wheels between them, or maybe they’re just too tired to keep fighting each other. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Josie had no idea how much she had missed this feeling until she couldn’t get it anymore.

"So what? You're not mad at me anymore?”

“Maybe I’ve just had enough fighting for one night. Besides,” Penelope shakes off the melancholy clinging to her features to force a smirk at Josie, “Who says that just because we’re sitting here drinking together, that I’m not mad at you?”

“Are you?”

Penelope looks away. Her brow creases as she hesitates, answering evasively, “I don’t know.”

Josie knows that she's not lying but she's not telling the whole truth either. She's hiding something and Josie is just too emotionally exhausted to play this game with her right now. “You may not be mad but you are something. Can’t you just- tell me?”

Penelope rolls the bottle between her hands, lips twitching into an empty half smile, “Where’s the fun in that.”

Something in Josie cracks. Just a little, but enough that it feels like she's breaking. She doesn't care how desperate she sounds anymore. 

“Please, Pen. Can’t you just make one thing about this easy for me?!”

Whatever she said must have been very wrong because Penelope whips around, any pretense of apathy gone. In its place is a burning fury and a snarling incredulity. 

“Easy for you? Josie, I have made all of this easy for you! I came to you,  _ twice _ , asking you-  _ begging _ you to let me make this easy! You shot me down every time.” 

Josie can barely bring herself to look at her, the guilt too much. None of what Penelope is saying is wrong and they both know it. Regardless, Josie has never been one to back down, even from Penelope. She swallows dryly, squares her shoulders, Forces herself to hold her head high and accept the cutting words Penelope spits at her.

She's pacing now. Prowling back and forth with a maniac energy. 

She rips a hand through her hair turning on Josie with a cold, harsh laugh, “And now you want me to beg you again? Why, because it will make you feel better to watch me humiliate myself for you again?”

The question is spat at her angrily and Josie can't sit back and accept it, not when she can see the deep hurt that the anger is trying to mask. A hurt that she caused. She is so blind. She never thought that she could have hurt Penelope as deeply as she has. 

"No! It was never like that.”

She knows how deeply she feels about Penelope but she never thought Penelope could have felt the same about her.

Even after the balcony, when she  _ knew _ that she was hurting Penelope, she never considered how deeply her actions and words were cutting.

“Then what was it, Josie?!" 

The anger scratches out from her voice, leaving a desperate pleading in its wake, begging for answers that Josie doesn't have. She stops pacing, standing in front of Josie entreatingly, "What was it like? Because I don’t even know which way is up around you anymore.”

“I don’t know, okay!” Josie cries as she pushes herself up forcefully.

Penelope doesn’t flinch at her sudden movement, not even when Josie invades her space, hissing angrily, “I don’t know what to do or what I’m even doing and I’m terrified that any second someone is going to call me on it.” 

The frantic energy leaves her in a short sob, all of her insecurities catching up with her at once. Her body sags as all of her confidence leaks away, leaving only the doubt and guilt in its wake. 

Spiralling down faster than she can try to stop, Josie can’t bring herself to raise her eyes in Penelope’s direction as the words escape her in a broken whisper, “No matter what I do, it’s never enough. I’m never enough.”

With her eyes glued to the ground, Josie misses Penelope moving. A hand settles gently on her arm, lightly pulling until Josie can see Penelope through the shameful tears welling in her eyes. 

Penelope ducks her head into Josie’s eyeline, moving so that Josie has no choice but to look into her eyes and see her sincerity, “Of course you’re enough, Jojo. Hell, sometimes it feels like you’re everything.”

“You called me Jojo.”

The rest of Penelope’s words are lost against Josie’s lips.

Somewhere in the back of her head she knows it’s a bad idea. Knows that this is the exact kind of thing that Lizzie and Hope were worried about happening when Penelope reappeared.

She knows all of that and yet she doesn’t care. Not at this time. All she cares about is Penelope being  _ here _ , those deep eyes pulling her in and those soft lips saying everything that Josie is too scared too. How can she resist that further? She’s been blindly chasing this feeling for six years now, how is she supposed to forgo it now that it’s returned to her?

Her hands cradle Penelope’s face softly, pressing her body close in an attempt to will a reaction from her. It’s terrifying. Josie’s just praying for a response, anything to indicate that she’s not alone in this. It takes a beat, but then it’s like a dam breaks in Penelope. Her hands clutch desperately at Josie, never settling in one place but always pulling and tugging Josie closer.

Emboldened by the response, Josie pours everything from the past months into the kiss; the frustrations, the guilt, the longing, all of it. Josie loses herself in the intensity of the kiss, never wanting this moment to end and fully willing to give up everything just to stay in it.

Which is why she’s so surprised when Penelope’s hands, which had been pulling her closer and digging into her shoulders and back to keep her close, suddenly switch directions and push at her, breaking the kiss.

"Wait, stop." Penelope husks breathlessly, hands on Josie’s shoulders, keeping the space between them. Josie would panic but Penelope’s eyes are dark and keep darting to her kiss swollen lips, a sign that she still wants Josie at least. Josie scrapes her teeth over her lip, thrilling when Penelope’s lips part and her hands grip her harder. 

With an enviable restraint, Penelope doesn’t cave and fixes her eyes on Josie’s, "What are we- what are we doing, Josie?"

And isn’t that the exact same thing that Josie’s been asking for months now. She has no answer, none that make sense or that she can explain at least.

She shrugs and drops her hands to hold Penelope’s hips. "I don't know. Making it easy?"

"You really think that doing this is going to make it easy?" Penelope’s voice cracks as Josie dares to run her thumbs over her hip bone.

"I can't see how it could make it worse." 

Conflicted, Penelope bites at her bottom lip. Josie’s eyes follow the motion and she can sense that she’s close to cracking Penelope. She slides her hands up to those on her shoulders, taking hold of them and dragging them around her waist, a memory jumps to the front of her mind. Josie slips into Penelope’s with a flirty grin, pulling them flush against each other, "Aaaaand, I've also been told that it's a great stress reliever."

Penelope laughs, clearly remembering her words from so long ago. Her palms blaze a trail up Josie’s sides, crossing loosely behind her neck, "Who told you that?"

"Some girl." Josie shrugs.

“And you’re just going to trust what she tells you? Where’s the evidence?” Josie closes her eyes as the fingers at the back of her neck swirl little patterns into her sensitive skin and toy with her hair.

“Well,” Josie smiles as she shifts closer, opening her body towards Penelope. “You’re stressed, I’m stressed. Something about two birds and one bone.”

Penelope's grin breaks through her control, even as she tries to tamp it down and suppress it, "I think you mean stone.”

Josie nods agreeably, pulling Penelope close and murmuring against her lips, “Sure, that too.”

-


	11. want me to love you in moderation (don't you know, I wish I could)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the second part of the original plan for chapter 10, also far too long because I have no self control apparently.
> 
> Title from Moderation by Florence + the Machine

Josie shoves the conference door open and storms out, one destination in mind. 

How can one council be so unbelievably incompetent? It’s like they choose the worst possible option on purpose, just to frustrate her!

And if one more damn councilman comes to her with a condescending smile and tells her to focus on her wedding, she’s going to go full medieval and order their heads on a pike.

Her feet bring her to a crossroads before she knows it. If she turns left, like she should, the halls will take her down to her own rooms, with Landon, Lizzie and Hope all nearby. If she turns right, the end of the hall houses Penelope, Lizzie’s only requirement to sharing a wing with Penelope was that she be housed as far as physically possible from Lizzie herself.

She swallows thickly, spinning on her heel and pacing down the hall to the right. It’s barely even a real choice, feet beginning to move before she could even make up her mind.

Just the thought of Penelope starts a pulsing want that radiates through Josie. Memories of the previous night bubble to the surface; flashes of flushed skin, heated kisses and frantic touches. 

The door opens before she can flick away the distracting thoughts. She doesn’t even remember knocking. 

Penelope drags her eyes over Josie, a hint of a genuine grin before a knowing smirk takes its place. She falls against the door, crossing her arms and leaning cooly.“I thought that this was going to be a one time kind of thing.”

“I never said that,” Josie utters, pushing forward and claiming Penelope’s lips in a flurry. 

Penelope’s arms come up to hold her shoulders, letting Josie pull her off the door and steer her further into the room. Josie swallows the moan that Penelope lets slip, her answering grin forcing her to break the kiss.

Undeterred, Josie simply moves to Penelope’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses and light bites in her wake.

“You make a good point,” Penelope husks, voice breaking as she tilts her head to give Josie more room to work. “Time is a construct anyw- Fuck, Josie!”

“I’m hoping you will,” Josie murmurs, pulling back to admire the mark she’s just left on Penelope’s neck.

“That was - Oh god- that was awful, you should feel bad.”

Josie hums, nipping at Penelope’s neck as she lets her hands wander, “You should close the door.”

Penelope closes the door.

-

“It’s a really nice day, don’t you think?”

Landon’s voice filters through Josie’s thoughts, dragging her back to the present. He’s a little fidgety by her side but she’s found that he’s always fidgeting. Not anything drastic but just enough for her to know that he’s not truly comfortable in the situation and environment. 

Knowing that, she feels even worse about the whole situation. He’s here, willingly marrying someone who is next to a stranger because he was asked, and she’s sneaking off to sleep with her ex-something rather than put any real emotion into the engagement. 

Josie has no idea how she doesn’t buckle under the weight of her guilt but then she’ll be around Penelope and, awful as it is, she just forgets all about Landon. 

She doesn’t even know if she should be feeling guilt. It’s not like there’s an actual relationship between her and Landon. At best, they’re friendly acquaintances who are in an arranged marriage with the bonus of becoming royalty. 

Still though, Landon is here and he’s doing everything that is asked of him. Josie can’t find it in herself to resent him for making this thing with Penelope objectively harder. Not when he came in clutch and committed to a wedding within ten minutes.

Josie flicks Landon a sunny smile, “It is! Perfect day for a walk, just like Dad said.” 

Said is maybe putting it lightly, it was really more of an order. He felt that Josie and Landon hadn’t been spending enough time together in public to convince everyone that they were madly in love and enthusiastic about their engagement.

Considering that Josie’s first thought when he ‘suggested’ a romantic walk around the outer gardens was of Penelope and how she hadn’t seen her in a day, it’s probably safe to say Josie isn’t as committed to the engagement as her father would like.

Landon pulls to a stop with a frustrated huff. It’s maybe the most emotion that Josie’s seen from him so she pulls to a stop out of shock alone. 

He tears a hand through his hair with a rough shake of his head before shoving them into his pockets, “I’m sorry that this is awkward. I should have turned him down when he suggested it but it’s just that he’s the King, y’know?”

She’s speechless. She would  _ never _ have expected Landon to do… well, any of what he’s just done. “It’s not your fault, I could have said something too. Besides,” Josie grins cheekily, threading her arm through Landon’s and pulling him with her as they begin walking again, “We  _ are _ engaged after all.”

“Right,” He chuckles nervously, looking a little awed.

A silence falls over them. It’s not comfortable but it’s not as awkward as their silences used to be, it’s a step in the direction of comfortable.

“So,” Landon starts hesitantly, “Read any good policy proposals lately?”

Laughter bubbles out before Josie can stop it. This is what they’ve been reduced to in terms of conversation, she’d feel mean for laughing but a quick glance assuages her guilt. Landon is watching her with a proud little smile playing at his lips, like he had set it up just to make her laugh.

She opens her mouth to respond but a burst of colour and movement catches in the corner of her eye, drawing her attention. 

It’s Penelope. Not like Josie is used to seeing her though. She looks furious, her entire body drawn so tensely that Josie can see it from where she is. She can also see the thunderous scowl gracing her face and her lips are curled up into a snarl too.

Whatever has happened, it’s set Penelope off in a very big way. 

“I’m really sorry Landon. Can we pick this up some other time?” Josie shoots an apologetic smile at Landon quickly, unwilling to look away from Penelope in case she loses her.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, sure, no problem.” His stuttering answer barely reaches Josie as she’s already speed walking after Penelope.

She has to break into a jog just to keep Penelope’s storming figure in sight. Penelope winds them through the halls until suddenly they’re outside of Penelope’s room. Josie hangs back at the corner, second guessing if she should actually follow the other woman into the room. 

She jumps back from the wall when a loud crash echoes, followed by even louder cursing.

Mind made up, Josie creeps cautiously into the room. The crash must have been the framed photo being hurled at the wall because it’s resting shattered on the floor. Penelope is in the middle of the room, shoulders heaving as she breathes harshly.

Josie steps forward a little too heavily, alerting Penelope to her presence. Her body stops and tenses before Josie can visibly see her force herself to relax.

“What are you doing here?” She asks flatly.

“I came to check on you. I saw you out by the gardens-”

“So you followed me?” Penelope asks coldly, rounding on Josie with eyes flashing, “Did it never occur to you that I may want to be alone?”

“This doesn’t look like you want to be alone.” Josie looks around the room, unsurprised to see Penelope’s suit jacket crumpled from where it has been thrown. Her eyes are drawn back to the shattered photo frame which, upon closer inspection, is a photo of the Park family. “This looks like you want to start a fight.” 

Penelope smiles grimly, “Maybe I do.”

“Penelope,” She steps in closer, noting the increasing tension in Penelope’s body and doing her best to soften her own, “What happened?”

Penelope looks away, avoiding Josie’s searching look, “It’s nothing.”

“This,” Josie gestures around the room, “Is not nothing.”

“Just leave it, Josie.”

“How am I supposed to just leave it?”

“I don’t know, Josie. Just- Can you just go? I’m not great to be around right now.”

Penelope can’t look at her, raking a hand over her hair and looking anywhere but at Josie. She’s never seen Penelope so shifty and unlike herself. She’s all but pacing the room, her hands can’t stay still and Josie can see her jaw muscle pop as she grinds her teeth. 

If she’s ever been this upset before, Josie has never seen it. “Penelope…”

“Josie, please-”

“I’m not going to leave you like this, Pen.”

“Jojo,” Her voice cracks, leaving her sounding more tired and defeated than her furious energy would indicate. 

Maybe Josie really should leave her be, her voice is almost as close to begging as Josie has heard outside of certain environments.

She just can’t though. There’s just a gut feeling that if she leaves now, she’ll lose her chance. Her chance at what exactly, she has no idea but there’s a weight in her stomach that keeps her grounded to the spot.

“We’ve really got three options here; we can hang out in silence, we can talk about what’s bothering you, ooor,” Josie steps in smoothly, giving Penelope her sultriest eyes and a half-smile that Penelope once told her was at least 35% of the reason she first hit on Josie, “You could pick door number three.”

Penelope looks at her. A slow smile curls the corners of her lips and a look of wonder is gone as quick as it came across her face. Josie can see the moment that Penelope catches herself smiling at Josie because her eyes snap away and her lips iron out sharply, “You’re determined to stay, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

Penelope shakes her head, trying to put distance between them as if that could force Josie to change her mind. When she finally speaks, her voice comes out raw and ragged, “I’m really not good company right now, Jojo.”

Josie never really understood the appeal of having sec when angry before. She gets it now. The way Penelope’s eyes flash, the barely constrained tension thrumming through her entire body, filling her with a wild energy that’s almost palpable? Oh yeah, Josie can absolutely get it now.

(And if she has anything to say about it, she will.)

“What if I don’t want you to be good company?”

Penelope looks skyward and huffs a soft laugh, tongue running over her teeth before her eyes cut back, “Josie-”

“Safeword can be ‘Lizzie’,” Josie grins at Penelope’s immediate scoff.

“Is that supposed to convince me?” Josie shrugs, unrelenting and unrepentant.

Penelope’s anger and humour drop from her face, leaving only a bare intensity that does the opposite of warn Josie off, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” 

Penelope looks torn. Her hands clench and unclench and her eyes can’t seem to settle, flitting all over Josie like she can’t decide if she wants to give in or argue further. Knowing Penelope and how easily she can dig her heels in and refuse to see any reason but her own, Josie decides to take matters into her own hands. 

Literally.

She slides her hands onto Penelope’s hips, holding her close enough that she can feel Penelope’s breath against her lips. Penelope’s eyes settle somewhat, now only darting between holding Josie’s gaze and glancing to her lips. 

Victory in her sights, Josie leans in so that there’s the barest brush of their lips as she speaks. Her lips curl into a triumphant grin when Penelope’s eyes flutter closed at their proximity.

“You won’t hurt me. I want this, Penelope.” 

Josie presses a light kiss to her lips that Penelope leans into. Before they can get carried away Josie pulls back, raising a hand to cup Penelope’s jaw, a thumb softly stroking her cheek, “I want  _ you _ .”

She feels the slightest nod from Penelope before hands clutch at her waist and she finds herself backed into the nearest wall with Penelope kissing her hungrily.

Josie does her best to match the intensity. Her hands scrape lines up and down Penelope's back, bunching and pulling her shirt out from where it's tucked into her pants. As soon as there's room, Josie slips her hands under the shirt to scratch at Penelope's heated skin. 

Penelope shudders and pulls back with a groan, resting her forehead against Josie's. Josie takes the reprieve to slump against the wall, trying to calm her racing heart and catch her breath.

"That all you've got?" She asks breathlessly, much to Penelope's amusement.

"What's the matter, Jojo? Tapping out already?" 

Even though it's said teasingly, with the way Penelope pulls back to check for any hesitance, Josie knows that it's Penelope giving her another out.

She only barely resists rolling her eyes at how stubborn Penelope is. While she likes the fact that Penelope constantly checks in with her, she likes that part with her brain. Her brain is only doing about 40% of the decision making right now.

She mutters something affirmative sounding, ducking her head and nipping bruises across Penelope's collarbone and shoulders. She makes her way to Penelope's pulse point, grinning against the skin as Penelope tilts her head back to give her more room. She leaves a trail of light bites as she moves to Penelope's ear, planting a kiss behind it and revelling in the full body shiver it produces.

Thrilling in how responsive Penelope is to her touch, how reactionary she is when her control is teetering on the edge like this, Josie can’t stop herself from giving her one last nudge. Her hands snake a path up Penelope’s sides and down her arms until she can interlock their hands. She then drags their hands down her own body, making sure Penelope can feel all of it until she brings Penelope’s hands to rest on her ass.

Making no effort to bite back her smirk at Penelope’s sharp intake of air, Josie puts the final nail in the coffin of Penelope’s control. She leans in and whispers, "Give me everything you got."

A wicked grin on her face, Penelope proceeds to do just that.

-

Josie groans, letters swimming in her mind and clumping together to threaten a headache of large proportions. Logically, she appreciates that carefully reading every through proposal from the council is the best way to govern, but selfishly? It absolutely sucks. 

She really doesn’t know how many more council opinions she can read. 

“Knock, knock.”

Grateful for any interruption or distraction from the dull work that has been slowly building up, she looks up fast enough that her neck aches. 

Penelope is biting her lip against Josie’s door and suddenly, she’s forgotten all about the proposals and the council. All of her focus is immediately on Penelope.

“What are you doing here?” Because she should not be here. 

Josie quickly checks her calendar and yes, Penelope should be in one of their flashier conference rooms, arguing the merits of another trade deal that had been deadlocked for years. Not reclining against Josie’s office door looking unfairly tempting with a smile on her face like she knows the answers to all the questions Josie hasn’t thought to ask yet.

“I cracked them early,” She shrugs like teams of their diplomats haven’t been working on this for years, like Josie hasn’t seen her buried in her preparation for this meeting, “Thought I’d come rescue you?”

“Rescue me from what, exactly? I still have to go through all of these,” She says, gesturing to the thick stack in front of her.

Penelope nods agreeably, “You could absolutely do that. Or,” The facade of innocence falls away, a wicked grin that knows exactly what it’s doing takes its place, “You could play hooky and come with me.”

Josie makes no effort to hide or disguise her eye roll. And if it just so happens to maybe be more affectionate than she intended, that’ just between the two of them. “Play hooky? What are we, 12?”

Penelope grins, looking utterly confident that Josie will leave with her. “Chicken.”

Josie’s mouth drops a little in a derisive scoff, “You really think calling me a chicken is going to work?”

A shoulder lifts casually, the mocking look of understanding on her face just begging Josie to prove her wrong. “If you’re too scared of coming out to play, I get it.”

“You can’t goad me into this by calling me a chicken. I have serious responsibilities here.”

“Uh huh. Yeah, sure.”

Sarcastic as she may be, Penelope may have a point. Maybe. A tiny point. Because Josie is already planning out excuses for why this stack isn’t finished, excuses for why she isn’t in her office where she normally is. Even as she plans these things in her mind, Josie can’t let Penelope know. Can’t let her get an idea of just how easily she can get Josie to follow her with a confident smirk and deep eyes.

“Even if I did want to leave, what exactly is your plan?”

“Catch me and find out.” 

And then she’s gone, expecting Josie to follow and confident that she will. Josie manages thirty seconds of tapping her fingers agitatedly before she pushes herself up and dashes after Penelope. 

Much to her simultaneous irritation and joy, Penelope seems to be waiting for her. All she catches is green eyes and a flash of a smirk before she’s gone and the chase is on again.

Josie takes advantage of her longer legs to catch up with Penelope. Her arms circle around Penelope’s waist and laughter bubbles out as she tugs her prey towards her, only succeeding in landing them against the wall. Before she can take advantage of how they’ve landed and how she’s boxed Penelope in, she’s gone.

Josie is left staring at the stone wall in front of her as Penelope ducks under her arm and weaves around her. Making sure to rub against her as much as possible, just to be a tease. Josie reacts a second too slow, Penelope dancing out of her reach, biting her lip to control her grin.

It sounds dumb, even in her head but Josie kid of understands what it feels like to be a comet. Being sucked into a gravitational pull you can never escape from, in which the only end is burning up in fiery glory. 

That’s how she feels around Penelope. She’ll be pulled in despite her best judgement and the warnings of everyone around her, even when she knows that the closer she gets to Penelope, the hotter she’ll burn until there’s nothing left.

Knowing all of that, Josie still lunges for Penelope, sending them crashing into the wall on the other side of the hall. This time Penelope doesn’t run. She leans into it, meeting Josie halfway for a hurried kiss that’s more laughter than anything.

The heat that rises in Josie feels like flames and she knows that she’s probably burning up. But then Penelope breaks the kiss and pulling Josie in closer by the hips to start another one. There’s nothing left for Josie to do but lean into the burn and enjoy the ride.

Penelope pulls back again, tilting her head like she can hear something. Once the fog from kissing Penelope lifts, Josie can hear it too. Footsteps.

She shoves Penelope behind her and flattens the both of them to the wall. Suddenly, laughter bubbles up in her chest, the situation far too similar to ones years ago when they were trying to avoid detection as well.

Penelope must also be remembering their same history with sneaking through the halls. 

“Know any secret passages around here?” 

Penelope’s hot breath against her ear sends a shiver through Josie. She tries to keep it from being obvious but one look at the cocky, satisfied smirk on Penelope’s face tells her she’s failed. It’s only after that that she realises the somewhat suggestive position that they’re in huddled against the wall.

She gives Penelope an unimpressed look. “Was that a euphemism?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Josie does not believe her and her face says as much. Penelope doesn’t even look surprised, “I get it and normally, I would be flirting with you in a manner that might be described as shameless -”

Josie interrupts, looking back at her with a raised eyebrow, “‘Might be’?”

“- but another time, maybe.” Penelope finishes with a salacious wink, undeterred. 

Josie has to look away but not even that stops the light laugh that leaks out. She bites her lip, swinging her head back to Penelope only to find her, well, the best word is  _ gazing _ back at her with a genuine smile. The kind that simultaneously makes Josie’s heart skip a beat while also making it thunder in her chest at breakneck speed.

The moment hangs between them, the both of them huddled together just smiling stupidly at each other. 

Josie thinks it’s pretty perfect actually.

But, like all perfect things, it can’t last. Their moment is shattered by the echoes of footsteps close enough that they can hear whoever it is whistling as they go.

Their smiles turn into panicked looks. Even though it makes no sense seeing as there are a very select few people who would dare question Josie directly. But fear is often irrational and they both know all too well how much damage rumour and implications will cause.

Penelope’s head snaps to the left and she slaps at Josie’s arm before pointing sharply.

“Door!”

Trusting blindly, Josie dives after Penelope just as she sees the tip of a shoe round the corner. She regrets that trust when she realises where the door actually leads.

It’s a closet.

A utility closet. A  _ small _ utility closet, to be exact. The only reason Josie knows as much is because she can feel the shelving and buckets digging into her back while her front is pressed firmly against Penelope’s.

Of course. Of course the only door in sight- their saviour - would lead straight to Josie’s internal anguish. Sure, she was chasing Penelope out in the halls and  _ yes, _ she absolutely had a plan for when Penelope let her catch her but that was in the hall. In a space where they could conceivably put space between them if cornered by a third party.

Should anyone open the closet door right now, there would be no way they could talk their way out of it. Not even Penelope. Penelope, who would not stop  _ shifting _ , which, when pressed this tightly together, kept driving Josie to tempting distraction.

“Comfy?” She knows it’s a long shot in this darkness, but she hopes Penelope can feel her reproving glare if not see it.

“Oh yeah. I love being stabbed with- what is that? A broom handle?” She feels more than sees Penelope’s hand fumble right next to her hip.

“A broom handle?”

“Unless there’s something you need to tell me?”

Josie rolls her eyes, hoping that Penelope can at least feel the energy of it if she can’t fully see it. “You’re not funny.”

“Funny thing about being trapped so closely together?” There’s the slightest shift and then Penelope’s body is pressed even closer. Josie’s breath hitches, sounding impossibly loud in the stillness of the closet. “It’s pretty easy to notice when someone tenses up.” 

The hand that had fumbled next to her turns and grasps at her hip, thumb tracing patterns over her hip bone. Josie melts, falling far as back as she can in such a tight space. The shelving digs into her back and there’s definitely a bottle of bleach next to her head, but all she can focus on is how she’s  _ still  _ pressed against Penelope.

Penelope shifts just right and a moan breaks from Josie’s throat, prompting a smug chuckle from Penelope, “So I guess we’ll have a chat about that when we’re out of the closet?”

She wants to laugh but refuses to give Penelope the satisfaction. Her ego is big enough without Josie adding to it by laughing at her dumb jokes. “You’re insufferable.”

“Easy there Jojo, you could hurt a girl's feelings like that.”

“I’m sorry. Want me to kiss it better?”

Penelope gasps, mockingly scandalized, “Miss Saltzman! Kissing in a utility closet? What has gotten into you!”

“You could find out,” Josie doesn’t give her a chance to make another witty quip. Using the darkness to her advantage, Josie goes off her muscle memory and finds Penelope’s lips with ease.

By the time they leave the closet, whoever had been coming round the corner is long gone.

-

Sounds slowly filter in, despite Josie’s vehement wish that they wouldn’t. It’s too late though and she can feel her body betraying her and rousing for the day. Something’s off though. The bed feels different and her pillow is not usually this warm. 

She wraps her arm around it tighter, frowning when it refuses to give. How can a pillow be so soft but so immovable? Sounds like a problem for an awake Josie, this Josie is going back to sleep. Smiling loosely, Josie nuzzles further into her pillow. A frown forms at the familiar smell too but it’s not her room…

A throaty chuckle comes from somewhere above her.

Oh. Oh, no. Oh,  _ God _ , no.

The familiar scent around her, the difference in the bed, and her  _ pillow _ . It all comes together in one terrifying picture. All she needs to do is open her eyes and confirm it. A silly little part of Josie’s head is trying to convince her that this could all just be a drunken dream.

After all, she did lose track of how many drinks she had last night. And what she was drinking is also a bit of a mystery. This is what happens when Jade is in town for a short visit and texts her late in the evening with a proposition. 

A proposition that was conveyed through a picture of a  _ very  _ well stocked bar and a following text of “ _ how many shots can you do before you’re officially royally fucked UP” _ which was shortly succeeded by “ _ hey, if you’re a royal and we’ve had sex, can i say i’ve been royally fucked or is that like, derogatory against royals? _ ”

(They tried to figure it out a few bottles in but got lost when Josie pointed out that Jade’s venn diagram looked suspiciously breast shaped.)

But, none of that is the point.

The point is that she is in a not so perfect strangers bed and she has to open her eyes at some point. 

(A pretty strong side point is that, no matter what, this is somehow Jade’s fault.)

Her eyes open a tiny sliver before it’s too much and she has to bury her head back into what she sincerely wishes was her pillow. That same chuckles washes over her from above and gentle fingers ghost over her forehead, tucking some hair behind her ear.

Feeling stronger, Josie braves the light once more to glance up.

Penelope is dressed and ready for the day, propped up against the headboard flicking over a confidential file. Josie’s head is resting on her lap and her pillow is actually Penelope’s hip. 

She’s been snuggling into Penelope’s hip.

Oh god.  _ Why? _

“And here I thought it was all just sex between us.”

Josie slams her eyes shut and tries to hide herself from the world. Mainly from Penelope’s overly amused tone and smirky face but also the world too. “Oh my god, shut up.”

“How ya feeling there, Jojo?”

She still sounds hopelessly amused but she’s tucked the files away somewhere and all of her attention is on Josie. She carefully runs her fingers through Josie’s hair and the coolness of her hands is amazing.

Josie hums, more of a groan really as she tries desperately to simultaneously burrow deeper into Penelope’s hip that is doubling as her pillow and also push herself harder into the fingers combing through her hair.

“Can you please turn down the sun?” She mumbles, half the words lost into Penelope’s hipbone.

“Let me jump right on that for you.”

“No.” Josie groans lowly with great prejudice. She uses her arm wrapped around Penelope’s hip to pull her tighter, as if that alone would stop any thought of movement from her mind, “No jumping. Or moving of any kind.”

Proving Lizzie right in her every assertion that she’s the devil, Penelope’s cold, soothing hands cradle Josie’s head and remove it from her warm and comfortable pillow. Josie’s protesting groans and moans morph into a pleased sigh at the coolness of the soft pillow.

She opens her eyes to see a soft Penelope smiling down at her gently. Her fingers resume their strokes through her head which Josie meets with a pleased hum, much to Penelope’s amusement. 

Her fingers catch the back of Josie’s head and urge her to face Penelope, “Want to tell me what happened?”

Josie shifts again, unwrapping her arm from around Penelope so that she can instead tuck herself into the downy pillow. Her eyes close of their own volition and her answer is half lost to the pillow, “Jade is in town again. We met up and I must have gotten carried away.”

“ _ Jade _ , huh? She sounds fun.” 

There’s something in Penelope’s voice that could be mistaken for jealousy but Josie  _ really _ isn’t up to analyse that right now.

Josie just hums agreeably. “She is.”

“Let me get this right, you spend all night drinking and enjoying yourself with your wildly fun friend but then you wake up in  _ my _ bed?” She doesn’t sound like she believes it. 

To be frank, Josie is still too drunk to really get into this, most of what she wants is to forget her mortification at this situation and go to sleep in the incredible comfort surrounding her. She really does  _ not _ want to be getting into the nitty gritty emotional details of her heart. Still though, there’s just something so hypnotic about a soft and gentle Penelope.

“Don’t want Jade.” Josie sleepily mumbles, more than happy to just drift back off. Penelope’s hands had resumed their stroking and Josie was just so warm and comfortable.

“But you want me?”

Resigning herself to the fact that they’re apparently going to talk about this, Josie pulls her head out of the pillow. A moment of mourning as the move dislodges Penelope’s fingers from her hair but Josie bravely carries on, “Maybe I just wanted this room.” 

It  _ is _ a nice room. A room for which she doesn’t have a key though and even drunk Josie wouldn’t try to scale the outside of the building. So how did she get in? 

She blearily looks around the room for any sort of clues but finds none, “How did I even get  _ in _ here?”

Penelope laughs lightly, a fond look on her face as she no doubt remembers, “You knocked. Loudly.”

Josie’s brow furrows, her coming to Penelope’s room and knocking loudly all make sense, but that doesn’t explain why she’s waking up in Penelope’s bed. “And you just let me in?”

“You just asked so nicely.” There’s a mischievous gleam in her eyes that says she did not, in fact, ask nicely.

“Oh my god,” Her head thumps down into her pillow and her arms come up for good measure. Anything she can do to hide from the heavily amused glint in Penelope’s eyes, “Please forget everything I may have done or said.”

“Oh, Jojo.” Penelope laughs as she pulls at Josie’s arms, trying to uncover her face, “Not a chance.”

Josie fights off Penelope’s hands, rolling onto her back and covering her face with her hands. She peeks up at Penelope through her fingers and she no longer cares about how she got to the room or that she should leave. None of that seems to matter when Penelope is smiling down at her, burden free and  _ happy _ , the sun catching her hair and making her eyes shine.

The thought comes so easily that it takes Josie by surprise; that she could happily wake up like this everyday. Her eyes widen as the thought sinks in, it’s too much for something they haven’t even given a name to. Too close to giving voice to the feeling in her chest whenever Penelope is around.

The throbbing in Josie’s head from her hangover is only worsened by the stress of this new notion of being able to stay with Penelope, _ keeping _ whatever they have. Taking it as a sign, Josie stops thinking about how long she’ll be able to keep this going. She’s warm, comfortable and wrapped up in Penelope  _ now _ . Everything else can just wait.

Abandoning her pillow, Josie shifts and curls around Penelope, settling herself into the same position she woke in, “I’m going back to sleep. Wake me when I’m not as mortified.”

“Dream of me?” Josie pointedly ignores her but clutches her tighter, betraying her silence. Penelope chuckles and brushes some hair out of Josie’s face.

“Sweet dreams, Jojo.”

-

Later that same day, after she’s untangled herself from Penelope, Josie is sitting out by the gardens, definitely  _ not _ trying to stealthily sleep her hangover off. It’s nice. Quiet, with no one demanding anything from her, it’s peaceful.

“So.” 

Of course it’s Jade who shatters the temporary peace Josie found. She’s beaming on her approach, never a good sign for Josie’s continued mental stability. Josie’s one win is that Jade is wearing sunglasses darker than even hers, so at least the hangover will kill them both.

“No. Go away,” Jade throws herself down next to Josie, blatantly disregarding the warning words.

“Aww. Don’t you want to talk about Penelope and all of those feelings that  _ definitely _ aren’t there?” Jade mocks in a sing-song voice, pulling her glasses off so that Josie can see the lascivious wink.

“I hate you.”

“If that were true, I wouldn’t have been on your shortlist of fiancees.” Jade says flippantly, picking at loose threads on her shirt.

“I didn’t pick you now, did I?”

Jade takes Josie’s cutting remark easily, smiling delightedly, “Oooh! Someone woke up on the wrong side of Penelope this morning!”

“How did y- I didn’t…” All of the wind whooshes out of Josie’s lungs and she’s floundering. The more she stammers and stutters, the wider Jade’s grin gets. She stops, putting on a face of confusion, even though they both know that it’s rubbish, “What are you talking about?”

Sure enough, Jade only rolls her eyes at Josie’s efforts, unimpressed. “I’m talking about how you talked about nothing but Penelope for most, if not all, of the night and then about how much you missed her face.” 

Josie cringes at the matter-of-fact way that Jade is laying it all out. She dares a glance over just in time for Jade to let her head roll over to her with a wicked grin, “Other body parts may have also gotten honourable mentions.”

“Oh god.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh,  _ god. _ ”

“Yep.”

“All night?”

“Roughly.”

“If I said that to  _ you _ , what did I say to  _ her _ ?” Josie asks, horror setting in at the sheer possibilities of what she could have drunkenly said to Penelope.

“I don’t know but it must have been good,” Jade grins and nods over Josie’s shoulder. 

Sure enough, Josie turns to see Penelope grinning at her from across the lawns. There’s a gaggle of aides and staffers surrounding her but Josie is still able to easily pick out the green eyes staring at her.

Penelope’s flick away from hers and the grin falls, the shadow of a frown crossing her face. A sense of doom dawns over Josie slowly and she can only turn and watch in silent horror as Jade brings her hand up with a flirtatious wiggle of her fingers.

“What are you doing!” Josie hisses, slapping Jade’s hand out of the air.

Jade laughs, completely uncowed, “I thought you were exaggerating when you were telling me how hot she was. I’ve never been happier to be wrong.”

“Can you keep your voice down?!”

“Why?” Jade tilts her head, an innocent expression betrayed by the mirth dancing in her eyes, “Do you think she’ll come over her if she hears me?”

“Please, just kill me now,”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure your lover girl will give you a small death soon enough.”

Josie chokes on air and her eyes dart to Penelope, irrationally afraid that she could have somehow heard them.

Penelope is already staring at them when Josie’s eyes find her. The staffers around her seem to be anxious to move on but Penelope lingers long enough to catch Josie’s eyes. An amused smirk playing on her lips, she shoots Josie a wink. 

Josie can feel the heat rushing to her cheeks, aiding by the victorious noise from Jade. Her reaction must have been Penelope’s goal all along because her smirk shifts into a full grin and she blows a kiss before leaving.

Resolutely, Josie refuses to look at Jade’s beaming face. Not that Jade would let that stop her.

“I rescind my earlier statement; your lover girl is going to give you a lot more than one small death.”

Josie likes to think that her answering silence is a measured and dignified response. The deep crimson creeping up her neck and across her cheeks undercuts the dignity of it all a little bit.

-

As the wedding draws closer, so do Josie and Penelope. For a moment there, Josie is really forgetting about all the time that has passed between them, they’ve slotted right back into where they were before that it feels almost exactly the same.

The time she spends with Penelope seems to fly by but also linger around her. It’s the best contradiction that she could ever think of. She really does have it all. Sure, the wedding isn’t ideal but Lizzie refuses to let anyone touch a single preparation without her explicit permission, so Josie doesn’t have to worry about that anymore.

It’s in that small measure of freedom that Josie gets careless. She doesn’t lock the door.

In her defence, this rendezvous wasn’t exactly planned. She had run into Penelope and was suddenly overtaken by a youthful impulse to just drag her into the nearest room.

It’s great. Penelope’s hands in her hair, down her arms, pulling her harder into her embrace; it’s exactly what Josie is craving. So wrapped up in each other, neither of them hear the creak of the door behind them.

“Are you kidding me, Jo?!”

Her heart leaps into her throat only to drop like a stone. She rips herself away from Penelope and faces a furious Lizzie. In desperate need of support, she reaches a hand back and of course Penelope is already there, letting her take whatever she needs from her.

Her sister says nothing, just looks between them with a sneer before storming out the door. Josie goes to follow her until there’s a tug on her hand.

Penelope’s still holding her hand. Josie can see her own anxious fear reflected in her eyes. They both know what this means for them, that this is probably going to be it. At least Josie knows she won’t be alone in mourning the loss this time

Josie squeezes her hand gently, “I have to go after her.”

“I know.”

“I’ll-” She wants to say she’ll come back. She wants to say that she’ll fix this and that everything will be fine. But she can’t. And Penelope knows that, too. 

“I know. It’s okay, Jojo.” Her hand comes up so gently, smoothing back Josie’s hair and stroking a featherlight thumb over her cheek. “You have to go. It’s okay.”

Josie holds Penelope hand to her cheek, closing her eyes and just breathing in everything about this moment. It could very well be their last. 

With one last sorrowful look, she pulls away from Penelope and runs after Lizzie, hoping to catch her before she does anything drastic.

Lizzie hasn’t gone far. She’s a few rooms over, pacing wildly with a snarl that gives her a striking resemblance to a caged wild animal. Josie certainly feels very much like prey at the moment.

“Liz-”

“No! You can’t just talk your way out of this one!” Lizzie whirls on her in a flurry, snarling the words furiously, “What the hell are you thinking, Josie?! You’re engaged for fuck’s sake!”

“I know!” 

Josie was expecting Lizzie’s anger. Was expecting the questions and derision. What she wasn’t expecting was her own anger rearing up.

Anger she buries and ignores raises its head from where it has been brewing just out of her sight. “Of course I know that! You think I don’t fucking know that I’m engaged? That I shouldn’t be doing this? Of course I fucking know!”

“Then why the hell are you doing it!”

“I don’t know!” She bursts, finally getting it off of her chest. Terrible as the circumstances are, it’s actually relieving to talk to someone about this, “I don’t know why, I just know that I couldn’t  _ not _ .”

Lizzie calms somewhat. That raging fury tempered and more of a simmer. No doubt taking all of Lizzie’s self-control to reign it in. “That makes no sense.”

“I know that too,” Josie smiles grimly. She knows exactly how illogical and nonsensical this entire affair with Penelope is. But knowing does nothing to change how she feels.

She slumps against the wall, letting herself slide down until she’s sitting. It’s like everything hitting her at once, the tension that’s been keeping her going finally cut, abandoning her and leaving her exhausted.

“I get it you know.” Lizzie seems to be letting go of her anger too, shoulders losing some of the rigid tension. She throws herself down next to Josie like they were children again.

Josie looks at her curiously as Lizzie rolls her eyes, “I don’t get how you’re with  _ Penelope _ of all people,” Josie manages a strained chuckle as Lizzie knocks their shoulders together, teasing smile dimming into something more serious, “But I get how you feel.”

“Do you?”

Lizzie shrugs like it’s easy. “Sure. You could live without her and be fine, you could even be happy. But you don’t want to, it’s just better when she’s around. You could be happy without her but nowhere near as happy as you are with her.”

“I- how?”

“That’s how I feel about Hope. And,” She takes a deep breath, looking hard into the distance and thinking carefully through her answer. “If I had to marry someone else and she showed up out of the blue, I don’t think I could stay away from her either.”

And that’s it. The hard truth that Josie’s known for far longer than she will ever admit. Because of course Lizzie feels that way, she and Hope are madly in love. Lizzie would never be able to stay away from Hope. Even when they were kids and didn’t get along, Lizzie was unable to keep any sort of distance. 

And she’s saying she understands how Josie feels. Because of course she does. Of course Josie has kept this entirely useless secret so poorly that it can be read across her face. Lizzie loves Hope more than just about anything, and she would do for Hope what Josie is doing for Penelope.

There are really only so many more lies Josie can tell herself before she has to admit what that means.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Lizzie.” She really doesn’t. 

She can’t admit to herself what she feels, let alone anyone else. And if she can’t even say it, how can she possibly know how the hell she’s going to get out of this.

Lizzie wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in so Josie can rest her head on her shoulder. “Do what’s best for  _ you _ , Jo. We’ll handle everything else after.”

“Lizzie…”

“Whatever you do, you know I’ve got your back right?”

“I love you, Lizzie.”

“I love you too, Josie.”

For a second, everything is at peace again but only on the surface. Josie can’t keep ignoring how she feels forever but maybe she can keep it going for just a little while more.

After all, she almost has it all now.

-

“Josie.” 

There’s a rare horror in Lizzie’s voice. The kind that is real and deep, not the surface level stuff Lizzie will normally complain about. 

That’s Josie’s first warning of what’s to come. Too bad she just doesn’t know it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“You should see this.” Hope looks serious. Even for Hope, which normally means someone’s died or a coup is brewing literally outside the door. Both of which are situations that Josie has been in courtesy of summer visits to Hope’s home.

Mikaelson’s, man.

“Alright, you two are starting to freak me out. What is it?”

Hope just hands her a copy of the paper while Lizzie passes over two trashy magazines. The pit growing in Josie’s stomach is suddenly twice as heavy. She hesitates before she looks at either item, instead focusing on Lizzie and Hope. Lizzie is biting her lips and shifting her weight like she wants to run, Hope’s face is stone but there’s a look of desolation in her eyes.

Josie looks down and the world - her happy, having-it-all world - stops.

-

“What the fuck is this Penelope!” 

She bursts into the room, slapping the paper on the table and all but throwing the magazines at an unsuspecting Penelope. 

“Josie? Wha-”

“Your  _ father _ sold these to the fucking media!” 

It’s only then that Penelope looks down. Through a veil of furious and betrayed tears, Josie sees her look at the images splashed all over the magazines.

It’s them. 

It’s the two of them in a variety of compromising positions that some ambitious paparazzi has taken. Not only that but there’s enough ‘insider sources’ in there to make some very damning reading against Josie.

She couldn’t understand why until Lizzie and Hope broke the news to her that they had spies on this immediately and that they all came back to one person.

Edwin Park.

Penelope just stares at the pictures in front of her, “What, no.”

“Was this your fucking plan all along?!”

“Listen-”

“No! I can’t believe I ever fucking listened to you! You came back and you just toyed and played with me until your family got what they wanted.“ Her voice breaks and cracks but Josie doesn’t care. 

All she can feel is the betrayal and rage, a cold truth setting in and sitting in the bottom of her heart, “You didn’t care about me at all.”

Penelope looks increasingly desperate, “Josie,  _ please _ -”

“I trusted you. All those things I told you, well, I should just be glad they aren’t in the article too, right?” She knows her words are cutting into Penelope, can see each new pain on her face but she just doesn’t care. Wants her to hurt even. 

Anything to make Penelope feel as broken and hurt as she does. “Or are you waiting for next week to sell them? Maximise the profit. That’s all you and your family care about, isn’t it?”

“Just let me expl-” Penelope tries, even though they both know it’s not going to matter at this point.

“You think I want an explanation?! I don’t want anything from you, Penelope! You fucking  _ lied  _ to me! For  _ months _ !”

“Josie, I didn’t -” Penelope, tears misting in her eyes, reaches out for Josie’s hand.

It’s a mistake.

Josie snatches her hand out of Penelope’s reach. Stalking forward instead, voice growing progressively louder, forcing Penelope to back pedal. “Didn’t what? Didn’t know what your family had planned? Didn’t think you would get caught like this? Didn’t  _ mean to _ ?” 

She’s literally back Penelope into a corner but all Josie can see is those damn pictures splashed all over the front pages. Her voice drops, cold and hard as ice, devoid of anything but a steely fury.

“You didn’t fucking  _ what _ , Penelope?”

Penelope’s tongue comes out to wet her lips and she looks terrible. She looks hurt and desperate and Josie just can’t care right now. She pauses as if there will be anything Penelope can say that would change any of this now.

How stupid of her, to think that it would be an external force that ruined this? It was only ever going to be an inside job. Josie was just too blinded by her stupid and foolish emotions. 

Penelope tries, voice shaking with emotions that Josie doesn’t bother to read, “I’m sor-”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry. It changes nothing. You have done nothing but lie to me since you arrived and I was just too blind to see it.” She cuts her off. 

“I suppose that was your plan though, right?” The absolute last thing she wants to hear right now is an apology from Penelope. It would just be as insincere as their entire relationship and she would probably fall for that too. “Make me trust you,  _ love _ you, and then use it against me.”

Well. If there was ever a way to tell someone that you love them, that’s probably not one of the best. 

She sees the moment it lands on Penelope, the truth of what she just said. The potential of the thing that she just broke beyond repair. 

Something seems to just shatter in Penelope. Her eyes dim and tear up and her entire body seems to just collapse in on itself, like the words have knocked everything out of her. 

She looks devastated but Josie doesn’t trust it. She also thought that Penelope looked interested and, on Josie’s more whimsical days, in love. Penelope is a great actress and Josie is just a love blind, foolish mark.

“Jojo-”

“Don’t call me that!” 

Silence follows her loud command. Josie really couldn’t care less. She knows that, at some weak point in the future, she will look back and search for  _ anything _ to give herself a foolish hope that any of this was real. And all she will have is that name and the way it rolls off Penelope’s tongue, always with a hint of reverence.

She can’t let Penelope take that from her too.

“Congratulations Penelope. Your plan worked, I love you.” She says the words strongly, not holding back any of the bitterness she feels. Penelope flinches at the sting of them but Josie isn’t done.

She steps in closely, a mockery of their previous intimacy. The words are the softest she’s said but she means them more than any other.

“I  _ never _ want to see you again.”

She walks away. Not looking back to see the whole body wince from Penelope as the blow lands, ears deaf to the beginning of the gasping sobs. Josie doesn’t stay around for any of it.

She’s never staying by Penelope again.

-

“You want to talk about it?” Lizzie offers from her position at the entrance to their private cellar.

Josie should have known that the rumours of her confrontation would have hit Lizzie first. Her sister has prided herself on being in the know since she was old enough to realise there was a know she wasn’t in.

That being said, just about the last thing she wanted to do right now- right before literally anything to do with Penelope- was talk about it with Lizzie.

“Nope! What I want is to drink this entire bottle and not think about any of this.” She eyes the bottle critically, “Do you reckon this will do it? I might need two.”

“We’re gonna need more than two.” Lizzie says assuredly, walking in and grabbing another two bottles herself. At Josie’s befuddled look, she rolls her eyes, “You think I’m going to leave you drinking alone in the dark like this?”

“You’re not going to say I told you so?”

“Would that change anything?” Lizzie asks honestly, no judgement anywhere in her tone or on her face. Josie can’t answer her and Lizzie shrugs. “I did tell you and it happened anyway. Nothing we can do now but move on.”

“When did you become the mature and reasonable one?”

“When the mature and reasonable one started fooling around with Satan incarnate mere days before her wedding.” She says it lightly but it’s still a blow that knocks the wind from Josie.

Josie slumps against the wall. She doesn’t even really want to take this up to her room, too many memories of Penelope in there, all just waiting to trip her up and bring her down.

Lizzie makes a soft noise of sympathy and strides over, kicking lightly at Josie’s feet to get her to budge over so she can slide in. Josie takes the gesture for the offer of twin cuddles as it is and immediately leans into Lizzie’s shoulder, tears coming of their own accord.

“I just feel so stupid.”

Lizzie sucks her teeth and holds tighter, ready to defend Josie from the world. “You shouldn’t. This is all on that demonic little monster, not you.”

Josie pulls her head from Lizzie's shoulder, looking at her sadly, “Then why does it feel like it was my fault?”

“Because you’re a good person, Jo. And she never deserved you.”

She lets the silence settle around them. Laying her head back down and absorbing the comfort Lizzie is trying to give as she sniffles occasionally.

Something in the silence, in the face of Lizzie’s steadfast and non-judgemental support, gives Josie a burst of confidence. “I think I loved her, Lizzie.”

“I know.” Lizzie answers sympathetically, tucking Josie further into herself. 

Josie’s shoulders shake with her effort to contain her sobs, knowing that this is exactly what they did when they were little and thought that their twin bond could mean that they could take on each other's pain. 

Her pain winning the battle against her restraint, Josie relinquishes the pretenses, clutching at Lizzie. “I  _ love _ her, Lizzie.”

“I know, Jo. I know.”

It feels like forever that she cries. Long enough that she’s soaked through Lizzie’s shirt at least. But by the time she regains control, all that’s left is a dreadful thought. 

“I have to get married next week.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Lizzie asks carefully.

Josie laughs but it’s a bitter, broken thing. Nothing like she’s used to. “My last ‘good idea’ is currently all over the front page of every tabloid and paper in the country so I don’t think my judgement counts for much in this one.” 

“In your own wedding?”

“We both know that it was never going to be  _ my _ wedding.” Josie waves her hand in a mockery of a grand gesture, “It’s the people’s wedding. To ensure stability and restore faith.”

“That’s great,  _ Dad _ .” Lizzie says sarcastically. She pulls away, repositioning them so that she can look Josie in the eyes. “What I meant was, is this wedding something you actually want? No one will blame you for taking some time.”

Josie feels herself go cold and she shutters her emotions behind thick walls, blocking and hopefully strangling them in the depths of her mind. 

“We’re out of time, Lizzie. All I can do now is fulfil my duty to the throne.” She pulls free from Lizzie’s hold and stands, shoulders squaring and head rising. Just like she was taught. Just like a Queen.

And Queens don’t feel the cruel bit of betrayal. So Josie chokes down her sobs and buries her pain to go through with her engagement. For the good of the nation. A good Queen always puts her people before herself.

“And Penelope?” Lizzie questions dubiously, not having moved from her spot.

The name causes the slightest reaction. The smallest chink in Josie’s new armour. Her shoulders slump and her head droops before she takes a bracing breath and resumes. 

“Penelope made her choice. And I’ve just made mine.” Without acknowledging that skeptical eyes she can feel burning into her, Josie hastens in leaving the cellar. 

She makes sure to grab that bottle though. Just in case.

“Yeah, because making decisions out of emotional distress never ended poorly!” Lizzie calls after her emptily.

-


	12. you had your chance, you blew it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! We're almost done!
> 
> Title from Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson herself

That’s enough. 

That has to be enough.

How much more pain can Penelope possibly inflict on Josie? This is the breaking point. It has to be because Penelope doesn’t know if she could ever do this again.

She had no idea of her father’s plans. Had felt as betrayed and violated as Josie, not that Josie would ever listen or believe her. 

Hell, Penelope doesn’t even know if she truly  _ wants _ Josie to listen to an explanation. If they cut all ties now, then Penelope can never be used against Josie again. Will never again be the cause of such pain in Josie’s face.

She has no idea how she got back to her rooms after Josie left her standing there crying and begging. It’s all a blur after that. She barely remembers throwing all of her belongings into a suitcase and calling for their house to be readied immediately. 

She can’t stay in the castle anymore. Not because Josie said that she hates her but because she said that loves her.

It’s everything that Penelope has ever wanted to hear and everything that she has been far too afraid to say.

All of these years, back to when they were just dumb kids running through the halls, they’ve both secretly known what this thing between them was. They didn’t have the courage to put it into words but sometimes the peace between them shouted louder than any words they could have said. 

And now the words were spoken freely and hung over Penelope’s head like an axe. 

It was all wrong though. It wasn’t said gently, whispered into the night with a trembling confidence as Penelope always thought it would be. Instead it was hurled at her with the aim to hurt. And it did. 

She would have preferred to never hear Josie tell her she loves her rather than have it thrown at her as evidence of a wound Penelope hadn’t wanted to inflict. It feels somewhat deserved that all she can hear are the viciously spat words running round her head over and over.

_ I love you. I never want to see you again. Iloveyou.Ineverwanttoseeyouagain. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. _

That’s all she hears for days. In the quiet, all she hears is Josie’s voice cracking and breaking over the words, in the dark all she sees is the tears glistening and falling from her betrayed eyes.

Reporters call every half hour like clockwork, all desperate for an inside scoop on the bombshell photos that seem to have rocked the nation. Her father is so happy that he is practically skipping around. Anytime he begins to gloat, Penelope has to leave. She can’t handle anything about this situation making someone  _ happy _ .

All she can do is futilely hope that Josie is okay, that her family are supporting her and that Penelope hasn’t done too much damage.

(She knows she has. The pain in Josie’s eyes was too deep for anything else but still, Penelope clings to a childish hope that it will all be okay.)

Before she knows it, the wedding is tomorrow and she’s just spent days locked in her own personal guilt and self-loathing spiral.

That the wedding is going ahead isn’t a surprise but Penelope wasn’t expecting the stabbing pain in her chest that comes with the news. As if she hasn’t been hyper aware of the  _ hours _ until the ceremony. Until Josie says ‘I do’ to someone who isn’t Penelope, promising to love them above all others. 

It’s the only time Penelope’s guilt is outweighed and overpowered by her wild jealousy.

Even though she’s already lost Josie twice, there may be some truth to the old saying. The third time really is the charm because Penelope is truly defeated now, she can’t bring herself to try and fight for Josie again. 

She’s not enough to keep fighting for Josie. Maybe that’s why she never fought to stay the first time. Why she was the one to break it off, to protect Josie from everything she could, even if that meant protecting Josie from her.

-

“Penelope!” Josie gasps, clutching a hand to her chest as her heart races, “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing lurking in my room?”

She crosses to her, reaching out so confidently, assured that Penelope would never push her away.

If only she knew what was coming. If only Penelope was stronger. If only they were different people, people who could have such precious things. If only.

Penelope lets herself be drawn into Josie’s arms, trying to draw on the cold demeanour and ice walls people keep telling her she has. Just being near Josie rips at her armour though, leaving her soft and exposed under Josie’s warm hands. 

Weak as ever under Josie’s spell, Penelope clings back against her. When Josie tilts her head, obviously angling for a kiss, Penelope can’t deny her. Can only close her eyes and try to savour the moment and commit it to memory, knowing that she’s about to bring it all crashing down.

Josie, sweet, wonderful Josie, is too observant though. She must catch onto the tension keeping Penelope stiff and unyielding, or maybe it’s the way Penelope’s hands grab just a little too closely, how she holds tighter than usual.

Whatever it is, Josie pulls back with concerned eyes before Penelope feels ready to let her go.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on?” 

It’s the eyes that sucker Penelope in. Those big, doe eyes that broadcast every emotion Josie feels. Or maybe they only do that around Penelope. Maybe Josie trusts her enough to not hide herself around her. Penelope  _ really _ hopes that she doesn’t.

Josie nudges her softly, concerned worry lines forming on her face. Penelope gathers herself enough to give a weak smile in return. Josie, gentle, caring Josie, doesn’t buy her smile for a second, frowning and running her eyes over her like she could physically spot what was wrong.

“Well, you’re all in one piece as far as I can see,” Her smile is slight but so genuine it makes Penelope’s heart ache, “So it must be something up here.”

She lightly plays her fingers across Penelope’s head and she can’t stop herself from leaning into the touch, much to Josie’s amusement. 

“Jo-”

Josie’s hand settles, cupping her jaw and silencing Penelope with a soft grin, “If you don’t tell me, I can’t fix it.”

“You can’t fix it anyway.” She mutters under her breath, forcing herself to not follow Josie’s hand as it pulls away so she can form her power stance.

“Try me.” She’s squaring up now. That bull-headed stubbornness that everyone assumes only Lizzie has, coming out to play. 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Penelope can feel a grin tugging at her. She has always  _ loved _ when Josie gets stubborn. It happens so rarely on its own that she’s had to take to forcing it out of her; deliberately picking a terrible opinion in a debate just to watch Josie’s jaw set and clench, teasing her for longer just because she can get so  _ pushy _ .

She just really loves stubborn Josie.

Not now, though.

Now she is so deeply torn between everything. It feels like she’s been standing on solid ground her entire life but she’s just discovered that each foot is on a different tectonic plate. And the bastards are splitting apart faster than she can keep up.

The choice wasn’t hers to make and yet she’s making it all the same.

Where would they even be able to take this? God, she can’t even put a name to it! Too scared of making it  _ real _ , making it something tangible and meaningful that could be ripped away from her or that she could destroy. And yet, despite all of her caution, here she is; destroying it and watching it be ripped away from her, all at once.

And she knows Josie. She knows that Josie, if nothing else, cares for her. She finds it in the way that Josie watches her so carefully whenever they’re near each other, in the way that she so carefully maps her body with her hands and her lips at every opportunity. She finds it in the heavy silence that hangs between them sometimes. Finds it because that’s where she hides her own feelings.

It’s from that knowledge that she knows how Josie would react if she knew what was really happening. That she would fight against it, that she would promise to stay with Penelope anyway, how she would shrug off everything just to keep this,  _ this _ , going. 

And Penelope just can’t let her do that.

Her family is looking for any opportunity to take advantage of, Penelope can’t give one to them on a silver plate. Especially not when it’s Josie. So she’ll hurt her instead. Break whatever they have into a thousand pieces and just hope someone will be there to help Josie pick them up. Penelope will carry the blame and Josie’s anger with her because she loves her.

She loves her.

Penelope pauses, unable to comprehend what she’s just realised. It all fits but she’s just been too intentionally oblivious to see it. She loves her.

She  _ loves _ Josie.

She’s an idiot. It’s too late now and she can’t tell her. Leave it to Penelope Park to realise the depth of her own feelings at the same time as she’s about to break up with them.

Penelope can’t bring herself to keep looking Josie in the eye. Her heart is racing just after realising how deep her feelings for the other girl run, should Josie see any of that in her body language, all of Penelope’s efforts will be for nought.

She can’t let Josie see anything beyond what she needs her to  _ believe.  _ And what she needs to believe, is that Penelope was never as invested in her as she really was.

Flexing her jaw and exercising every last bit of the control that she has ever had, Penelope detaches herself from her tumultuous emotions and answers, “You really can’t fix this one, Josie.”

Josie takes a sharp intake of breath when Penelope uses her name instead of an affectionate nickname, exactly what Penelope was hoping for. 

Something as simple as a syllable is enough between the two of them to signify a massive change in their mutual system. That is how close they are. A syllable is all it takes to signify a major change.

“Penelope,” Her face is somewhat masked now. Not to the extent that Penelope knows it can go but enough to signify Josie subconsciously preparing herself. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“We should talk.”

“Are we not?” Josie tries to laugh but Penelope knows better. She can hear the nervous strain, sees the knowing gleam in her eyes and how her smile is too tight and forced. 

Penelope sees all of that and hates it. She wants so desperately to wipe it all away but knows she can’t.

Still she can’t stop herself from reaching out, “Josie.”

“No, what are you trying to do, Penelope?” Josie steps out of Penelope’s reach sharply, wrapping her arms around herself. Penelope lets her hand fall back to her side limply.

“I’m telling you, Josie.” Penelope has never been more grateful for the relentless lessons on body language and how to control it. “This isn’t working for me anymore.”

“You don’t- What do you mean?”

“Josie-”

“No! Penelope, this isn’t-” Josie starts before she catches herself. Penelope’s heart sinks as she watches Josie try to visibly calm herself before continuing. “This can’t be it.”

Penelope can feel the tension through her entire body. She’s unable to look at Josie, knowing that if she does there’s no way she can get the words out. “Josie. I can’t do this. I’m done.”

“What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything. I just…” She shrugs, helplessly in her own mind but making a point to have it appear casual, “It’s just not the same. I can’t keep pretending it is.”

There are tears now. Penelope can see them beginning to line Josie’s eyes and her self-hatred grows that little bit deeper. 

“I- I can do better, I can-” Penelope grabs at Josie’s hand, wanting nothing more than to reassure Josie that she’s as perfect as they come. She wants to tell her that she loves her but she can’t.

“Josie, no. It isn’t you. I just,” She shrugs, dropping the hand she grabbed in desperation, “I just want something different now.”

“I can be different.” Josie tries.

“Josie.”

It breaks her heart that just saying her name is enough for Josie to believe her. It may be good for her current purposes but it still hurts that Josie would believe that she doesn’t care so easily.

Josie stills, “You’re serious.”

“I am.” Penelope sucks her bottom lip, biting hard to remind herself to stay cold. Just meeting Josie’s eyes briefly is enough to tempt her into throwing this entire thing away and reminding Josie of how deeply she cares. How much she loves her. 

But she can’t and it kills her inside.

“I’m just going to leave.” Penelope mutters, avoiding Josie’s eyes and leaving a foot of space between them as she slips by. She just has to reach the door before she can drop this cold mask.

“Penelope-”

Penelope hesitates at the door as a cry slips from Josie. She closes her eyes, trying to fight down the powerful urge to turn back, hold Josie close and take back everything she’s said. But she can’t. 

In a herculean effort, she moves herself forward without turning to steal one last look. If she had, Josie would have been able to see her tears and Penelope is not strong enough to push her away again.

The quiet thud of the door closing behind her reverberates in her chest. At last she turns, resting her forehead against the wood and listening to Josie sob while trying to keep herself quiet. 

Penelope bites down on her own lip to try and hold back sobs of her own. This was her choice, to run and hide, leaving behind the person she loves more than she thought possible. 

She straightens, hiding everything behind a coolly detached mask. She still has work to do and she’s yet to pack.

As she walks away, she can only hope that maybe by her putting thousands of miles between them, it will make getting over this easier.

-

Penelope lies awake, staring at her ceiling as she has every night. There’s just one slight imperfection in the moulding. One small weakness in the otherwise flawless crafting. It’s been taunting Penelope for days. Reminding her of her own weakness and the weakness she represents.

Today is particularly damning. 

The weather outside is perfect. Truly, a spectacular day. The kind of day you want to spend with those you love. Penelope clenches her jaw and squeezes her eyes shut to hold back the wave of emotion. She has control of nothing but herself now. And even that is tenuous at best.

She doesn’t want to get out of bed. Getting out of bed means she would have to face this day. Have to  _ live _ this day. She does not want to do any of that.

Distantly she can hear the sound of her fathers’ jovial voice, delighting in what he sees as his own success. She can’t face that either.

Penelope rolls over, burying her head in her pillow. Just in case she accidentally lets out the scream she can feel brewing, just begging to escape.

She inhales deeply, wishing it was the scent of someone else’s shampoo clinging to the pillows.

Fuck this day.

-

At midday, her mother finds her shut away in front of their fireplace, staring at the royal portrait while making liberal use of the aged liquor available. (Say what you will about their soon to be former king, but the man has good taste in alcohol.)

“I thought I would find you here.”

Penelope lifts her glass in a sarcastic acknowledgement. She probably should have stopped drinking when she lost count of how many glasses she had finished.

Josie’s going to be Queen today.

Josie’s going to be  _ married _ today.

Penelope pours herself another glass. Not even someone with her level of willpower and determination can force themselves through this day sober.

Marion watches her coolly. “Feeling sorry for yourself?” 

Penelope grins sardonically, tilting her glass at her mother in a mock toast. “I’m trying quite hard to not feel anything actually.”

Her mother sighs and slowly moves into the corner of Penelope’s eye. She settles across from her and Penelope stifles a chuckle. They were in the same position that they had been in when they had first arrived and her mother had questioned her about Josie then too.

God, how she wishes to go back to that point. Before everything had gone so splendidly right before crashing so terribly around Penelope’s head.

“I’ll admit, I was surprised when she went through with it.”

“You clearly underestimated Josie.” Penelope scoffs before tilting her head back and letting her drink burn down her throat. 

She was hoping that if she drank enough, she could blame the pain in her throat on the alcohol and not from holding back sobs for the last 24 hours. Probably not the healthiest or wisest choice but Penelope can’t really bring herself to care either way.

“Perhaps. But then I suppose the weak never last long in this game.” 

Marion, oblivious as always to her daughter’s inner struggles, shrugs simply. As if Josie’s failure was a forgone conclusion, something as true as ‘the sky is blue’. As if losing Josie wouldn’t shatter the shards left of Penelope’s heart.

Penelope scowls and barely keeps the snarl from her voice, “Josie is not weak.”

“The strong don’t last either.” Marion’s cadence doesn’t change, as if this is something that Penelope should just already know. She locks eyes with her mother before Marion flicks a pointed gaze back onto the painting hanging above the fireplace. “Just ask her mother.”

Something about her mother talking about Josie’s, sits wrong with her. Maybe because she knows how Josie treasures every mention of her bio-mum, how precious her memory is. 

And Marion Park has never really been one for precious treasures. 

Penelope fights down her protective urge to snarl at her mother for daring to bring her up, “What are you talking about?”

“This.” Her mother waves a hand lazily in the air. For the very first time, she looks tired, like she’s finally lost the rigid steel holding her in perfect posture. It’s honestly unsettling.

The unsettled feeling grows worse when she meets her mother’s eyes. There’s no hint of scorn, of the predator that is always lurking somewhere in the shadows, there’s just... exhaustion.

“This isn’t a game you can ever win, Penelope. You just keep playing it until the day you lose.”

She feels her lip curl at the resignation in her mother’s tone. The anger coiled tightly in her chest unfurls and is buoyed to the surface by the ocean of liquor she has to have consumed by now. 

The weight of her mother’s words hits her like a train and Penelope’s grip tightens to the point where she can almost hear the glass creaking under the pressure. 

“The two of you have been training me for this since I was a child and now you chose to tell me -  _ today _ of all fucking days - that it’s all for  _ nothing! _ ”

“Your father and I love power more than we will ever love anything else. That’s just how we are.” 

There was no apology in her voice, Penelope knew better than to expect one. Her mother would never apologise for giving her the facts, no matter how hurtful they may be. Marion tilts her head curiously and Penelope almost relaxes under the familiar judgement.

“I thought you to be the same. I was wrong.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“You didn’t.” She ignores Penelope’s derisive scoff and smiles wryly. “You’re probably better than us, not that we could ever admit that of course.”

“Of course.”

Despite herself, Penelope can feel an answering dull grin on her face. It fades before her mother can turn to see it but it’s maybe the first time in recent memory that she can remember sharing a genuine smile with her mother.

“You remind me of a younger - some would say better - version of myself.” Marion sighs.

Penelope lets out a bark of laughter, “If I wasn’t drinking to forget before…”

“I was in a position to choose between what could have been love, and what would be power.” Her mother levels her with an unreadable look. “I married your father.”

“I thought you didn’t love each other more than power.”

“We don’t.” 

Penelope frowns and her mother faces her with a thin dry smile. “Your father respects and values me greatly. To some, that is more than enough for love. But valuing someone and  _ loving  _ them…” 

Penelope swallows dryly as Marion trails off with a slow shake of her head. The emotions build in her chest as her mother gives her a pointed look. “They are not the same.”

Penelope clenches her jaw and thumps her head against the hardback of the chair. She closes her eyes and works her jaw as she tries to keep her tears from falling. 

“Why are you telling me this? Am I not low enough for you already?” 

Even as she spits the questions, she knows that it’s not right. It didn’t really feel like she was seeking to salt Penelope’s wound. She wasn’t reminding Penelope of her failure to their family, wasn’t trying to revel in the pain Penelope was feeling.

Her mother seemed to be trying to be… genuine. Penelope can feel her mother’s stare and opens her eyes to find Marion staring at her. There is a sadness in her eyes that throws Penelope for a loop. 

“Because one day, you may look at your own child and realise they are about to make the same choice you did,” Her mother avoids her eyes and stares at the wine in her hand. She continues, regret underlying her wistful tone, “And then you’ll realise that maybe it’s the wrong choice.”

“What.”

Her mother shakes herself out of whatever memories she was lost in. When she looks at Penelope again, there is a familiar sharpness to them.

“Power will not be enough for you and you know that,” Marion doesn’t stop to let Penelope breathe. She continues calmly, as if her words aren’t challenging everything Penelope thought she knew. “And that knowledge will turn you cold. You will feel the ache, the absence of it, until you devote yourself to the pursuit of power just to validate the choice you made.”

Penelope realises that she’s right. When she had the option to work against Josie, to keep sabotaging her efforts, she chose Josie. It chafes at her that her mother knew that she would choose Josie over the power offered to her. Penelope has been raised to eliminate or hide all of her weaknesses and yet here she is, apparently exposing her biggest weak point to her  _ mother _ of all people. 

“She really is quite remarkable. Do you love her?” 

Penelope chokes on her drink at the question. Spluttering, she turns to her mother with wide eyes but Marion’s attention is focused on the painting gazing down at them. 

As Penelope coughs the last of the liquid out of her throat, pointedly not answering or even making eye contact, Marion laughs lightly, “Yes, I thought as much.”

A steady silence blankets them. It’s maybe the first ever time Penelope hasn’t felt judged around her mother. It’s a weird feeling. She’s used to feeling her mothers harsh judgement and coming up short. That, she understands, not so much this assessing look that Marion gives her, like she’s not judging her but actually seeing her.

Penelope would honestly prefer the judgement.

“I wasn’t kidding before; neither the strong nor the weak survive this game.”

Her frustration boils over. Is this why she’s never had just a casual chat with her mother? Because every damn sentence is some cryptic nonsense that you have to guess at? “Great. Don’t know why we don’t have more of these little chats. Who is supposed to ‘win’ this little game then?”

“The compliant.”

Penelope snorts, “You do the majority council’s bidding and they’ll keep you?”

“If you love her as you say you do, you won’t let her fall into that.” She warns.

Penelope’s jaw clenches. Marion talking about Josie like that rises her hackles, even if she’s saying it as a warning. “She wouldn’t.”

“Oh? Is she not marrying a relative stranger at the behest of mere temporary seat-warmers?” 

There’s the judgement Penelope had missed so much! Marion doesn’t blink as her words batter against Penelope’s façade of indifference, “They will leech her strength and cut off her legs until she nought but a figurehead. Edwin will see to it.”

She’s right. Penelope knows she’s right. And it all comes back to the choice that has been building since she was 16. From that first moment she met Josie, it has all been coming down to this.

Josie or her family.

Penelope swings her head to her mother dully, mind racing as she tries to buy herself more time. Her mother’s face gives nothing away, gives Penelope no indication to what her mother is clearly hinting to her.

“And you expect me to stop it?”

Marion’s eyebrow slowly rises, unimpressed. “I expect you to make a decision. If you stay here, drowning your sorrows, you will get a council seat and you will have power. Or, you could go to her, warn her, and maybe she will one day forgive you.”

Penelope takes another drink, letting the burn add to the defeated rasp in her voice. “She hates me.”

“Yes, well, I never said choosing love would mean love choosing you back.” 

Penelope closes her eyes against the sharp pain of the words. Of the very real possibility that Penelope could surrender the ties she has left to her family only for Josie to reject her. She would be truly alone then. The thought scares her more than she thought it would.

Marion watches as the emotions play across her face impassively, “Whatever you decide… Be sure you can live with it.”

There was never really a decision to make, not when it really comes down to it. Penelope has even already had a trial run of this situation. She had chosen her family when she was a teenager, had walked away from Josie and stayed away for six years. She could do it again.

But she won’t. She  _ has _ made this choice before but she’s also been making this choice constantly ever since she saw Josie again. And Penelope isn’t a scared teenager any more, she’s a scared adult who has been choosing Josie this entire time.

“I need to go.”

Penelope risks looking at her mother for her reaction but Marion is smiling. Like she had never expected anything else from her all along.

“Your father has the car and all the drivers are either at the wedding or with their families. Here,” She turns and grabs a key that she then tosses to Penleope.

Penelope catches the key and recognises it instantly. She isn’t serious, right? “The stables?”

“I taught you to ride, did I not?”

“I only have an hour at most!” Penelope can’t believe this is happening. She’s about to go crash the massive royal wedding of the woman she loves and she will apparently be doing so on horseback.

“Then you should hurry. I had the stable hand arrange the fastest horse for you.”

Her mother’s words break through her building panic and her brain latches on to them. Her mother has organised their fastest horse? How, when Penelope has only just committed to getting to the wedding?

“What? Why?” Marion gives her a look as she comes to a stop in front of Penelope, straightening her wrinkled shirt and brushing off her shoulders. Penelope is too dumbstruck to move, just lets it happen as the penny drops, “You knew?”

Marion’s hand rises so that she’s gently cupping Penelope’s cheek with a bittersweet smile. “I told you, Penelope. You are not like us. You’re better.”

“Thank you.” Swallowing back tears, Penelope has never felt this close to her mother before. Has never meant the words quite so deeply before. She squeezes her mother’s hand just once before sprinting to the stables.

Marion watches her disappear through the door, tears welling in her own eyes as her whisper floats through the empty air. “Be happy with your decision, darling.”

-

Josie really doesn’t know what she’s doing up here. What is she doing marrying Landon for no reason other than the council said she had to? For what? Some outdated rule that should never have been written in?

The minister is still talking and Landon is now turning and reaching for her hands. Oh god. The vows, they’re already at the vows.

Panic building in her chest, she looks desperately out at the crowded pews. Her eyes catch on her parents; Alaric, smiling like Josie isn’t seconds from a panic attack and Caroline, who is wearing a polite smile but her eyes are so concerned. Without looking, she can feel Lizzie and Hope behind her, tense with their own concern.

Is this really going to be how she’s married? With everyone who actually knows her looking so somber and concerned? 

She watches Landon take a deep breath and feels how his hands shake with nerves. The guilt overwhelms her. Can she do this to him? Doesn’t he deserve the chance to find someone he truly loves and wants to marry?

Unbidden, her mind leaps to shining green eyes. Before she can stop it, she’s imagining Penelope standing in Landon’s place. It’s too much.

“Wait.”

She can feel the eyes on her. Feels the sharp intake of air as the entire room seems to hold its breath. She sees Landon’s eyes leap to hers, confusion and panic warring on his face. The minister’s mouth is still half open and he looks like he can’t decide whether this is really happening.

Josie can’t bring herself to look at her family. Can’t see the confusion and disappointment and not break further. Nerves bubble up her throat, she almost pretends it’s just a joke before a glint from the ring catches her eye and she knows she just can’t do it. 

She waves the minister off apologetically, “Sorry, just- just, stop, please.”

“Josie?” Boy, she’s never seen Landon look this nervous and lost. Guilt snaps at her but she knows that this will be better for the both of them. She hopes.

“Do you really want to do this? Honestly?” She doesn’t know whose hand is shaking more. She doesn’t give Landon the chance to dart his eyes away either. Just looks at him honestly, letting him see whatever he needed in her expression.

He blows out a nervous breath. Their hushed conversation is drawing more and more attention, curious murmurs beginning to rise in volume. Landon must hear them too because he spares a nervous glance out into the gathered dignitaries before blowing out an uncertain breath, “I mean, I said I would…”

“And that’s a good enough reason to do this?” That can’t be enough, right? There’s a desperation building now, clawing its way up her throat as her grip on Landon’s hand tightens. “Don’t you want to do this with someone you love instead of me?”

Her words are working, she knows it but Landon still looks terrified. “But the law…”

“I’ll handle it,” She says, projecting a strength and confidence that she does not feel. This is definitely not going to be as easy as she is making it sound. 

“Thank you, Josie.” There’s a very real gratitude shining from his eyes and now the guilt is for what she would have done had she said nothing. Her eyes follow him as he sits down and there’s a new lack of tension in his shoulders, he seems to actually be breathing normally instead of the panicky little shallow breaths she heard during the ministers welcome. The guilt fades, replaced by the certainty that this is the right decision.

“What is the meaning of this!” Edwin Park splutters from his seat. Josie feels her lip curl at his voice alone, after everything he has done, he’s lucky she didn’t let Lizzie and Hope loose on him like they had wanted.

Her shoulders straighten, spine stiffening as she turns to address the crowd. “It means I’m not getting married.”

“Hell yeah!” Lizzie bursts with an exuberant fist pump, flowers and all. It’s honestly shocking she restrained herself for so long. Josie could practically  _ feel _ her straining to listen to her and Landon’s whispers.

“Then you forfeit the crown!” She sees the triumphant gleam in his eyes, the victorious tilt to his grin. She is not about to lose to this dickhead.

“No.” She says simply.

“No? You cannot take the throne unless you marry.”

“Well, I’m going to change that.” She meets the eye of every man on the council, letting every bit of steel and power she has learned show through. 

If they want to force this upon her, they can do it now, in a public space and clearly against her wishes. Is it somewhat underhanded to put them in a corner like this? Maybe. But her mother always taught them to use everything that they had at their disposal. 

And Josie has public opinion and an upcoming election year.

“I will not be getting married simply because a group of men centuries ago wrote that I had to.”

“Get it, Josie!” Thankfully a grinning Hope has snatched the flowers from Lizzie before her sister turns them into Rambo at the end of the movie. Flowers or not, Lizzie is determined to voice her support. Loudly.

“I will go ahead with  _ my _ throne, husband or no husband.”

“I thought that this would happen,” Edwin shakes his head in mocking disappointment. He turns to the crowd of people with a wide gesture, clearly preparing himself for a grand speech. 

“Miss Saltzman flaunts our laws. Luckily, we have a suitable choice in my own daughter. Penelope is more than able to take the crown and the responsibilities that come with it.”

“No, she’s not.”

Gasps roll through the church as heads snap toward the latecomer. Josie is pretty sure her heart skips one too many beats. She feels light headed and is suddenly very thankful that no one is looking at her because she’s pretty sure her mouth is open.

Penelope is walking down the aisle. 

Towards her. 

She’s standing in a wedding dress and Penelope is coming down the aisle towards her. 

This is absolutely something that is definitely going to feature in Josie’s future dreams.

Penelope’s eyes flash toward her as she comes to a stop halfway down the aisle and Josie’s mouth goes dry. Josie has to remind herself that she’s in the middle of making a point about her independence and that she’s furious at Penelope for her betrayal.

Just because Penelope crashes her wedding looking like a romance books wet dream with an artfully dishevelled dress shirt and windblown hair, does not mean that Josie forgives her.

“There is no one better suited to lead this country than Josette Saltzman.” Penelope says strongly, confident eyes daring anyone to argue.

Edwin’s face grows steadily ruddier before he bursts, “Of course there is! There’s you!”

“No. I refuse any claim to the throne.” She says, as calmly as one would address the weather, not exactly how someone would refuse a royal title and throne. 

Penelope looks away from Edwin dismissively, eyes landing on Josie. It sends a bolt through Josie and she finds herself unable to look away. Even now, at her own wedding that Penelope just crashed, all it takes is a single look and the rest of the world falls away until there’s nothing but the two of them.

She still has no idea what Penelope’s play is, if this was all a setup to slip Penelope onto the throne, why is Penelope arguing against it? Why did she burst into the wedding at all? Not only burst into the wedding, but then loudly decry anyone but Josie for the job?

She is doing her best to hold onto her anger and feelings of betrayal but Penelope’s stalwart confidence in her and willingness to fight the council on her behalf is really making it difficult.

“I wholly support Josette Saltzman’s reign. She cares about this country’s people more than anyone and she will always fight for what is right.” Penelope’s voice rings clearly through the church, no longer aimed at just those in the know but everyone. 

Josie almost chuckles at the frantic energy she can see from the media packs in the back pews, all of them racing to break everything happening. At least their presence guarantees Josie the opportunity to revisit this moment because she’s too focused on Penelope to even know what else she’s missing.

Sure enough, Penelope turns back to her and Josie forgets why they’re even here. It’s something of a relief that Penelope seems affected as well, that it’s not just Josie alone in this. Her reaction isn’t something you would notice unless you were paying attention. 

Unfortunately for Penelope, Josie was always paying her attention, even when she wished she wasn’t. Which was how she caught the quiver to Penelope’s lips as she inhaled raggedly. As well as the way her face twitches in the way that means she’s pushing down the words she really wants to say.

“She is the leader this country needs.” 

Josie doesn’t know how she does it but Penelope makes the words sound like she’s saying them just to her. An apology and a confession all at once.

Thankfully, Josie doesn’t have to think of a response, Penelope shakes herself and turns back to the councilmen, “If you are as wise as you proclaim yourselves to be, you will support her too.”

There’s silence after her declaration. The members of the council shift in their place, feeling the weight of expectant stares on them. It’s only a sharp elbow to the ribs from Lizzie that has Josie drawing herself into a power stance from her uncertain yearning for Penelope.

Penelope, who is glowing under the sunlight streaming in through the windows. The sun casts her into sharp relief, highlighting the determined line of her jaw and the sharp glint in her eyes. Josie almost wishes she could freeze this moment and just watch Penelope forever, but she can’t. They both made their choices and now they have to deal with the fallout.

That’s all that runs through her head as Penelope meets her eyes, how the choices they both made have led them both here together and yet separate. Their gaze holds briefly before Penelope breathes out shakily and retreats, all but running back down the aisle and out the door.

Josie longs to run after her, catch her and make her just  _ explain _ but she can’t. Not least of all because of the council now, quite literally, standing in her way.

“Her Highness presents a compelling argument.” Vardemus considers thoughtfully, standing and eyeing his fellow council members. 

“She does not!” 

Witnessing the influence that his daughter has over the council has not calmed Edwin any. Matter of fact, it may have made him angrier. Ruddier, certainly. A distant, disconnected part of Josie wonders if he should get that vein checked out. It’s really popping out of his forehead at the moment. Could be dangerous later on...

“Lady Park’s support is also worth taking into consideration. As is her refusal.”

Edwin is nearly frothing at the mouth at this point, “No! She does not refuse! She doesn’t know what she’s saying, she’s just confused!”

“Gentlemen,” Dorian stands, smoothing his suit jacket and looking at his fellow council members, “I believe we have a vote then?”

Her future is still being decided in front of her but all Josie can focus on is the doors that Penelope slipped out of.

-

Penelope tries desperately to control her breathing as she makes her way hastily down the stairs. The wrenching sobs claw at her throat and choke her but she persists. She has to. She knew how this would end before she even got to the stables. Knew that she would be unable to fix anything between her and Josie but she had to try.

Then she saw Josie in her wedding dress.

Saw Josie in her wedding dress standing at the altar and _ God,  _ Penelope wanted. Penelope has never wanted anything more in her life, but it wasn’t something she could have. 

She had her chance, she blew it, she had her second chance and she destroyed that too. As much as she longs for that moment, that moment of walking down the aisle to Josie waiting at the other end, to be real and hers, it never will be.

It was the overwhelming wave of disappointment and self-loathing that enabled her to completely ignore her father. She can only stand so much though and her last glance at Josie was more than she could bear. 

A hand reaches from the shadows, gently catching her elbow and stopping her from running. Penelope turns and of course it’s MG, the man who never gives up on her even when she gives him very good reason to. 

His concern is easily readable on his face, “Peez, you really just going to leave like that?”

“Like what, MG?” She bites back, “Was that  _ not _ the right thing to do?”

“Of course it was! I’m saying you can’t just drop the mic like that and then just disappear.”

“I’m not disappearing. I’m just leaving.” 

Annoyance flashes across MG’s face at her drawled distinction. A reprimanding look from nearly anyone else would have less than zero effect but this time it comes from MG who is basically her external conscience and morality guide. 

Penelope drops her disaffected mask, hunching in on herself as if being smaller will somehow make the pain less. “Josie doesn’t want me there and I don’t really want to watch her get married, Milton.”

His mouth opens but it’s not his voice she hears.

“What the hell was that?!” 

Penelope’s vulnerability vanishes, snapping back into the confident facade she wore in the church. Edwin is charging down the stairs, eyes wild and spit flying in his rage, “What are you thinking!”

“I did exactly as you wanted,” She says disdainfully, “Josie  _ isn’t _ getting married. I held up my end of the deal.”

“You ruined everything!”

“Actually, I think that was Lizzie,” Penelope says, eyeing the decorations critically.

“You think this is a joke?!” He rages, advancing on her, “You think this is funny?!”

Penelope stands her ground with a smirk. “A little.”

“Mr Park,” MG tries to interject only for Edwin to turn on him with a snarl.

“It’s Lord Park to you.” MG’s face drops any semblance of polite courtesy. 

“ _ Mr  _ Park,” He says pointedly, “You have been stripped of your title, council seat and any honours awarded during your time here.”

Penelope’s brows shoot up.  _ That _ she did not know. A slow smile crawls across her face as the information settles.

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Did you know that a seated member of the council taking and selling images of the royal family is still considered treason?” MG says casually, the threat lurking under his courteous expression.

“I-I have done no such thing!” Edwin stammers and blusters, puffing his chest out.

MG smiles sharply, the same way Penelope taught him to make it into a threat. “Then you will have no problem proving your innocence at trial.”

As if on cue, a whole squadron of royal guards melt from the shadows and surround Edwin. Penelope watches on as two of the guards step forward to grasp each of her father’s arms.

“You can’t do this!” Edwin cries, fruitlessly fighting the iron grip on his arms, “Do you have any idea who I am!”

“I do. You’re the man who betrayed his sacred oath,” MG steps in closer, voice dropping dangerously, just loud enough for Edwin to hear him, “You’re also the reason that they are in so much pain. I won’t forget that.”

He steps back, nodding his head at the squad. “Get him out of here.”

Penelope watches her father be frog marched into a waiting car. No doubt taking him to a holding cell until the formal charges are laid against him. It’s a surreal feeling. “It’s all over then. This day is just full of endings.”

Her tone tips MG off and he eyes her cautiously, “I think weddings are more about new beginnings actually.”

Her smile is forlorn, “Not this one.”

“C’mon, Peez! You can’t be serious.” 

A part of Penelope is amused that MG is trying so hard but she knows that it’s just because of his unwavering, if foolish, faith in her and desire to see her and Josie happy. She wishes she could prove him right once. 

Guess she’s just letting everyone down lately.

“I am, MG.” Penelope sighs. 

She’s so tired. Tired of losing parts of herself to a game she no longer wants to play, tired of being so close but still coming up short. “This is it; Josie is going to be Queen and is free to marry whoever she wants, Edwin will face his consequences and the villainous Park family are finally defeated. Happy ending, everything is over and done now.”

Everything feels done now. Tied up with a neat little bow and ready to be put away and forgotten with time.  _ She  _ can be done now. Just move somewhere else and do the best she can for Josie from afar. 

Maybe time and distance is what she needs to be around Josie without being so recklessly in love with her. It didn’t work the first time but Penelope never seems to learn from her mistakes with Josie so what’s one more?

MG grabs her hands tightly, snapping her out of her thoughts. She recognises the sadness in his face, the sympathetic understanding in his eyes, “You’re not the villain here, Penelope.”

What did she ever do to have such genuinely  _ good _ people care about her? 

MG is one of the best people she knows and for some unknown reason, he cares about her. Loves her, even. Even when she ignores his advice and lets him down, he still cares. And then there’s Josie. Josie who believed in her, Josie who loved her until Penelope made it impossible for her to do so anymore. 

They care about her, they love her, and she always disappoints them on the grandest scale she can. Are these not the actions of a villain?

Penelope shakes her head, smiling sadly, “I’m not the hero either.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t still get the girl.” MG says strongly, trying one last time.

“Goodbye, MG.” She takes a step away, eyes darting to the church. 

She almost wishes she could see through the walls, just to get one last look. Instead, she turns back to MG, wishing she was different, that she could live up to his expectations and be braver than she is. But Penelope is nothing if not a coward to her own emotions, so she backs away. 

She leaves, just like always.

“Take care of her, alright?” It comes out as more of a demand. A demand that didn’t need to be said, she knows MG would do it anyway but she just needs it for herself. Needs to feel like she isn’t abandoning Josie and leaving her alone again.

“Penelope!” 

Penelope closes her eyes against the tears that form. Her brain and her heart have gotten so tangled today that she’s even imagining Josie’s voice calling to her now. As if Josie would ever call to her again.

She just ducks her head and forces herself to move faster, ignoring the number of voices that call to her. She can’t look back now. Josie has clearly moved forward and now, that’s all Penelope can do as well.

She moves forward - she runs away - and she doesn’t look back.

-


	13. take a risk, take a chance, make a change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYYYYY WE'RE HEREEE
> 
> Chapter title from Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

_ “Gentlemen, I believe we have a vote then?” _

Josie feels like she’s currently the rope in a tug of war. On one end, this vote is crucial and her presence will definitely have an impact on the voting, but on the other… 

On the other is Penelope. 

And that alone is strong enough to have Josie’s feet taking stutter steps towards the door before she gets control of herself. Those few steps are enough to draw the attention of the councilmen present, looking to her in expectation. 

She stares blankly back at them, mind spinning rapidly as she tries to think of a way to explain that; yes, she’s committed to the country and this role more than anything else, but also, she’s going to run after Penelope because that’s what she  _ wants  _ more than anything else.

Admittedly, it’s a thin line to walk.

“Josie,” Lizzie sidles up next to her quietly, voice low and serious. Josie knows she can feel her distress even as she nods firmly to the church doors, “Go after her.”

Looking hopelessly between the doors and the councilmen gathering together, Josie falters, “But-”

“She won’t wait forever and I think the two of you have waited long enough.” Lizzie rolls her eyes, gesturing loosely around the church, “Lord knows your biggest issue is timing. I mean, you waited until halfway through the vows to tell a guy you didn’t want to marry him.”

“I-”

“Not that I’m complaining, I thought it was great.” Lizzie is on a roll now, smoothly continuing right over Josie’s stuttering. Her smug smirk fades into something more caring, “But you did do it because of Penelope, right? Because you love her?”

“I did it for me.” Lizzie knows that she’s hiding something, Josie can tell by her slowly rising eyebrow. She caves under the pressure of Lizzie’s knowing disbelief, “And maybe a little bit because I’m in love with Penelope. But mainly for me!”

“Then go and get her!” Lizzie cries, making little shooing motions.

“The vote-” Josie gestures helplessly.

“I’ll take care of it.” Josie’s stunned. Lizzie isn’t flinching or faltering though, standing taller and holding Josie’s hand tightly. “You’ve given up enough for duty, Jo. Let me worry about our duty for once.”

“Liz-” She starts but there’s nothing she can really say. Lizzie seems to understand this, smiling gently and nodding towards the doors. Josie has never meant a sentence more, “Thank you.”

She bustles down the aisle, smoothly dodging the questions and hands grabbing at her. The tension thrumming through her body explodes in a bark of near manic laughter as she catches the tail of Lizzie and Hope’s exchange.

“Worst case, I can plan another wedding. After this I have some notes.”

She can  _ hear _ Hope’s raised eyebrow. “Another wedding is the worst case?” 

“My sister marrying Satan isn’t exactly Plan A, Hope.”

It’s too much. A singular mention of the words ‘Penelope’ and ‘wedding’ and Josie’s mind cannot even begin to think about anything else. Her brisk pace slows as she imagines what that would be like. To be standing in front of the people they care about, in front of the entire country really, and be able to finally say without a doubt that Penelope is as much hers as she is Penelope’s.

Combining that with the memory of Penelope coming down the aisle to her and that’s two thirds of Josie’s daydreams right there. Dreams that are now tantalizingly within reach. All she has to do is catch Penelope before she’s gone.

Josie runs.

She runs as fast as she possibly can. Feet catching on the dress even when she hikes it up into her hands. 

She bursts through the doors, blinded by the glare of the sun and the sudden shouts from people loitering outside the church who recognise her. She ignores all of it, searching wildly for a hint, a sign,  _ anything _ that could lead her to Penelope. 

It’s the familiar shouting that gets her. Her head snaps around to see Edwin raving and ranting as he’s being dragged into a secured van. If she had more time,Josie would laugh at how Edwin is the one to bring them back together, despite all of his machinations to the contrary. 

If she had the time. But she doesn’t. She’s sprinting down the stairs as fast as her dress will allow her, not even sparing Edwin another glance.

She’s halfway down the stupidly long staircase when she sees her. 

Penelope’s saying something to MG, shoulders slumped and defeated as she backs away. Adrenaline floods Josie’s system, she can’t let her get away again, not now, not when there’s no guarantee they’ll be able to come back this time.

She forces her legs to move faster as she takes the stairs two at a time, stumbling and tripping over her dress and her shoes. None of it matters when she sees Penelope turn and start to walk away.

Josie doesn’t even give a thought to the crowds of people outside the church, phones out as they try to catch all of the drama. Josie doesn’t think about anything but having to watch Penelope walk away from her again, desperation forcing her hoarse scream.

“PENELOPE!”

There’s a glimmer of hope when Penelope’s steps falter and her shoulders tighten. Josie knows her voice reached them because MG is turning and looking, eyes widening as he clocks Josie coming at them full speed. Even so, Penelope doesn’t turn. Josie’s hope turns to horror as Penelope not only refuses to turn, but starts to move faster away from them.

“Penelope!” 

She doesn’t stop, not even as Penelope picks up speed and runs around the corner. She finally hits the pavement and launches herself forward, fully ready to follow Penelope wherever she may go.

Or she would, were it not for the two strong arms that wrap around her and hold her fast as she struggles wildly.

“Jo, stop!” It’s MG. MG is the one holding her back. The betrayal stings as Josie’s efforts redouble to no avail.

“I can’t! I have to get her! I can’t lose her again, MG! I just can’t.” Her voice breaks and cracks under the strain of her emotions. Of her  _ need _ to get to Penelope. The fight leaves her slowly as Josie feels her opportunity slipping through her fingers, leaving her to sag into MG’s arms.

“I know, I know.” He says softly, arms tightening their hold like he can keep her from falling apart if he holds tight enough. “Peez just… I don’t think she wants to be caught right now.”

Josie buries her face into his chest. Hoping to shield her sobs from the sharp eyes watching. 

“Josie,” He nudges her gently, prompting her to lift her head and look at him. He shifts, arms skating down until they’re standing in the street holding hands. “You can go after her. Right now. You could do it.”

Josie is moving before he finishes, held back only by the tight grip MG has on her wrist. When she looks at him askance, his face is far more somber and serious than she was expecting, “If you go after her Jo, you have to know what you want.”

His words hit harder than she was expecting, as well as the implications behind them. MG, who has watched them yoyo back and forth, gravitate together and blow themselves apart over and over, MG stopped her to  _ protect _ them. Protect  _ Penelope _ . 

The realisation knocks her for a loop. She hadn’t really planned past catching Penelope and having her listen. Everything after that would be a freefall that she just hoped Penelope would join her for. MG is right though, what happens next? Where do they go from there?

MG is still watching her steadily, regret clear in his eyes as he forces her to face the hard questions she’s been running from. “Do you know what you want, Jo?”

“I want  _ her _ .” 

And isn’t that it. Hasn’t that been all she’s wanted this entire time? Just Penelope. But it would never be  _ just  _ Penelope, it’s everything that comes with her that Josie has been wilfully ignoring.

“I know.” MG looks like he could cry himself, clearly seeing the defeat creeping through Josie’s body.

She looks to the corner that Penelope had disappeared around. She’s long gone now. 

Sure, Josie could send the guards, could comb the entire country for Penelope, complete with official seals and everything. But none of that would make MG any less right.

Does she know what she wants? Besides just Penelope?

Either way, she’s missed her. 

Penelope didn’t turn when she called, didn’t look back, didn’t come running back into her arms like the dreams Josie foolishly indulged. No. She missed her one chance, held back by her own indecision. 

She’s missed her again.

_ They’ve _ missed their chance  _ again _ .

There’s nothing left for Josie.

Nothing but her duty.

She stiffly wipes the tears from her face and walks back up the stairs to her inescapable responsibilities. She doesn’t realise but with the pressing grief and burden of her duty, her shoulders sag under the weight.

-

It’s been  _ days. _

Days since she last heard anything about Penelope. Days since  _ anyone  _ last heard anything about or from Penelope. She should know, she’s been hounding MG constantly for even the smallest crumb of Penelope knowledge.

It’s not like she can exactly go to the other Parks. 

In the aftermath of the wedding that wasn’t, two things were clear; 1) Lizzie should never be allowed to address the council as two of them almost cried and 2) The elder Parks will no longer be trusted in the council or even the country.

Edwin is currently sitting in their court system and Marion has been sent to a faraway embassy but Josie has checked with the trusted staff stationed with her and Penelope hasn’t even made contact, let alone shown up out of the blue. As far as anyone is aware, Penelope has cut all ties with the Park family, keeping only the surname and gift for politics.

So now Josie sits. Sits in that damned throne, subconsciously begging for Penelope to appear at any moment. Just like she has every day since her coronation.

If only she had been faster. If only MG had been able to hold Penelope just a minute longer. Why did she wait so long before running after Penelope?

The same what-if’s and if only’s torment her over and over relentlessly. Josie has resigned herself to this new reality now, the constant regrets and recriminations hounding her every moment. 

It’s no less than she deserves though.

It’s her fault. 

Josie spends every minute of those days mulling over everything MG said.  _ Does _ she know what she wants? Of course, she wants Penelope. She knows that like she knows the back of her hand. It’s everything else that’s troubling her. Because it won’t just be them now. Josie is Queen now, can they handle the pressure that would put on their relationship? Can Josie? 

It’s all she thinks about. Any down time is spent imagining what kind of future they could have and what that future would look like. She imagines what it would be like, sharing all of this with someone - with  _ Penelope _ . It’s nice and, most of all, it’s easy. That’s what gets Josie. How  _ easy  _ it is to see a future with Penelope.

She knows people are worried about her. About how quiet she’s been and how she disappears alone into her rooms rather than spend time with them.

That much is clear from the way her mother hovers with Lizzie where they think Josie can’t see, sharing concerned looks. MG is never far, always there offering to send out entire teams of guards to track Penelope down. Hope just brings her food constantly and sits until she’s satisfied Josie is eating. 

She appreciates it but she wants to be left alone. She knows what she wants, knows that it’s a future with Penelope, knows that she loves her. That she’s never stopped loving her. So all she needs now is to figure out  _ where _ Penelope is and how to convince her of the same future Josie can see.

Josie prefers to do her spiralling alone in peaceful solitude.

So of course there’s the clacking of shoes against the tiles of the reception hall she’s in. Josie just lets out a long exasperated sigh, not reacting immediately to whatever member of the staff has intruded on her self-pity.

The clacking comes closer and closer, meaning Josie can no longer ignore it and has to look up to greet them. She drags her eyes up and stills at the sight of the shoes alone. Those are not something that any of the palace staff would wear. 

Her heart races, thoughts running wild with an intoxicating mixture of anticipation, hope and dread.

Josie swears that she’s blacked out and is lost in some wild dream.

It’s Penelope. Penelope is in front of her.

Josie wishes her first thought is something poetic or meaningful, anything but ‘ _ God damn, she’s hot.’ _

Kinda takes some of the romance out of it.

She can do nothing but stare, jaw dropping as Penelope doesn’t disappear from in front of her like so many of Josie’s previous hallucinations.

“Penelope…” Her voice trails off, the lilt at the end questioning if this is even real.

Proving herself to not be another daydream, Penelope approaches stiffly, “Your Majesty-”

“No- don’t-- Stop.” Josie waves her off, trying to give herself time to organise her cacophony of thoughts. She’s still just coming around to the fact that Penelope is  _ there _ , right in front of her and Penelope’s just leading straight in? 

Josie has been looking for her for  _ days _ , ran out of her wedding to chase Penelope and she’s now right in front of her. What excuse can she possibly give to make it okay? 

“Penelope, where have you  _ been? _ I tried to find y-”

“When I was 16, I met this girl,” Penelope cuts in roughly, sounding as unsteady as Josie feels. She looks up at her and Josie can feel the tears forming in her eyes already, “And I loved her. I loved more than I ever let myself realise.” 

Josie’s breath catches in her throat. Penelope breaks their gaze, looking down and away as she swallows roughly, visibly working herself up to saying whatever is next. Josie tries to brace herself. 

If she’s ready to cry from Penelope just looking at her, how bad is it going to be if Penelope has to gather herself first?

“A little while later, I left her. I thought it was the best of the bad options I had at the time.”

She was right to brace.

Penelope chokes the words out and everything that Josie felt the first time comes rushing back to her. Clearing her throat roughly, Josie forces herself to meet Penelope’s big, watery eyes, “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Penelope shrugs with a self-deprecating smile. “Nothing happened for six years. Then, I came back. I came back and I saw her again.” Her smile turns amused and wistful, “She was dancing with this just  _ total _ loser and looked like she hated it, I swooped in.”

Josie bites her lip at the memory, grinning despite herself. “A true knight in shining armour.”

“She didn’t think so. She was furious with me, I broke her heart.”

“What did you do?”

“I lied to her.” Josie’s heart shatters. “I tried to work both sides even though I knew it couldn’t last. You see, I was never able to get over her. She was always going to be  _ it _ . The one I compare everyone else to.”

“But you lied to her.”

It’s supposed to be a question but it doesn’t come out as one. Rather her voice just comes out as a hurt accusation. She sees Penelope flinch as the venom lands but she accepts the words with a shallow nod.

“I did. I hurt her again. Worse than before, even,” Josie’s nostrils flare and her jaw clenches as she tries to keep the tears at bay. The truth of the words stings much worse than she thought it would. Barely scabbed wounds being torn open all over again. “And she told me to leave. So, I did.”

Josie forces her eyes shut, blocking out the earnest and apologetic look burning into her. She still is no closer to knowing why Penelope is here except for apparently rehashing their tumultuous history. She inhales roughly and steadies herself with a shaky exhale. 

“So, you come to me?”

“I do. You see, this girl - this woman - she was engaged.”

Josie plays along, quirking a faux-surprised brow, “Oh?”

“She didn’t want to be but thought that she had to do it for her duty.”

Josie can’t help the scoff that rips itself from her throat. “Sounds like a fool.”

“No,” Penelope denies, strongly and immediately. Josie tries not to let it go to her head to have Penelope’s stalwart support, the same feeling from the wedding when Penelope stood for her before everyone. 

“No, she’s the smartest person I know. The best person I know, really.” Idly, Josie wonders if she’ll ever get used to the absolute  _ faith _ Penelope seems to have in her. Not only that, but that she seems to have no problem voicing that faith now as well. “She didn’t go through with the wedding, called it off at the altar.”

Josie bites her lip to smother a grin, “Little dramatic.”

Penelope chuckles lightly, an easy smirk coming to her lips, “I crashed her wedding. Spoke the truth for the first time in a long time.”

“And this woman?”

“I don’t know.” She says, shame colouring her cheeks, “I ran away, you see. I couldn’t believe she would want to see me ever again.”

Josie’s lips twist, conflicted emotions warring across her face. She hasn’t forgotten the hollow feeling of devastation that overcame her when Penelope ran. Doesn’t think she ever will. “You haven’t told me why you’re here.”

Penelope says nothing in response, just holds Josie’s eyes steadily as she takes a step forward then slowly lowers herself to a knee.

Josie wishes she could have literally any thought but Penelope is kneeling before her as she’s perched on the throne. So. Y’know. That’s a lot. Her heart is pumping at a truly concerning speed and is skipping enough beats that she’s pretty sure that she can make a compelling case for actually being dead right now. 

Penelope hasn’t looked away once since taking the knee and it was really knocking Josie for a loop. There was a new solemn intensity to her gaze that Josie had never before seen, “I swear fealty to you, Queen Josette Saltzman.” 

Her breath hitches in her throat as Penelope pauses, the words barely sinking in before she continues, “I pledge my loyalty, my services, all that I am, to you and your reign.”

It’s the same basic oath that every member of the court undertakes on her coronation but it feels different. Maybe it’s the intensity in her eyes, the deep undercurrent of emotions between them but it’s just different. It’s  _ more. _

“On this oath, I do so swe-”

“Is that why you’re here?” Josie interrupts skeptically, “Just to offer yourself to the crown?”

“I’m not pledging myself to the crown. I’m pledging myself to  _ you _ .” She stresses it so heavily that Josie can’t help but believe her. Penelope doesn’t blink, doesn’t move, stays kneeling with her eyes just pressing into Josie.

“I’ll choose _ you _ , Josie. Every time. I swear you will always be my first choice,” Her lips twitch up into a half smirk, “Just like the first time round.”

Later on, Josie will not be able to explain what was going through her head right here. An unexpected surge of courage or stupidity takes hold of Josie’s mouth. 

“I seem to remember you offering vows a little differently back then.”

Penelope takes a slow look around the large reception hall, smirk growing with that cocky confidence Josie definitely isn’t into. “This certainly seems like a step up from hushed whispers in dark rooms.”

“Well, if it’s not up to your standards, Lady Park,” Josie trails off leadingly, crossing her legs slowly and revelling in how Penelope’s eyes darken at the move, “I can think of nicer places for you to pledge yourself.”

“And where would that be, Your Majesty?” Penelope says thickly, voice lowered teasingly.

A smirk flits across her face, voice dropping suggestively, “I hear the royal chambers are just  _ lovely _ this time of day.”

Abandoning all subtlety Penelope rises, stalking to the throne and hovering over Josie with a grin, teasing her by staying  _ just _ out of reach.

Succumbing to the temptation that is Penelope, Josie pushes herself up and forward into a bruising kiss. She wills herself to break the kiss after a moment. 

“Penelope.” Penelope hums against her lips and it’s almost enough to pull Josie back in but she has to say this. She has to get it off her chest, “I’m sorry.”

Penelope pulls back, eyeing her for a moment before smiling softly, “Don’t be.”

“I am,” She insists, “Those things I said-”

“I love you.”

Josie stops. Lets the words sink in. She stares back at Penelope in disbelief, ears ringing with the echo of the words. Penelope doesn’t blink, doesn’t flinch. Just meets her eyes steadily smiling Josie’s favourite smile. 

“Say it again” Josie demands breathlessly.

“I love you.” Penelope smiles around the words. Unable to stop herself, Josie lunges forward, grasping Penelope’s shirt and pulling her into her lips.

Josie pulls back abruptly with a concerned frown, an errant thought popping up. “As more than just your monarch, right?”

Penelope’s lips curl into a grin and if Josie wasn’t gone for her before… 

“Oh, I don’t know. You look good on this throne.”

“Don’t tease,” Josie pouts.

Penelope laughs, darting in to steal a kiss. Josie tries to hold her pout but just can’t, especially when Penelope wraps her arms around her neck and smiles widely at her, “I love you. With or without a throne.”

“I love you too,” Josie says, happier than she had ever thought she could be. This moment was literally a dream. Everything that brought them to this, the angst, the pain and the hurt, it was all worth it. Just for this moment, it was all worth it.

She looks up at Penelope but can’t stop the ecstatic giggles that bubble up. She buries her head into Penelope’s chest, letting herself be held as she tries to control her joy. Penelope’s fingers slide through her hair and Josie almost cries from the relief that she gets to have this again. 

She leans back, gazing up at Penelope, “What happens now?”

Penelope flips her hair over her shoulders confidently. “I believe you said something about the royal chambers?”

Josie beams. “I love you.”

“After that speech? I should hope so.”

“Shut up.”

“Your wish is my command, Your Majesty.” Penelope says, smiling against Josie’s lips.

“All this time and you’re still falling for me?” Josie grins, fondly recalling Penelope’s smirk from that first ball. Penelope must remember too, gently knocking her forehead against a smirking Josie’s, “I’m flattered.”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read or kudosed or commented!!!


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